Today a female friend suddenly sent me a message and asked: ".You handle interpersonal relationships so well, can you teach me?
It turned out that what she meant was that she saw that I rarely took the initiative to maintain relationships with others, and I didn't participate in some activities, so why were everyone willing to associate with me? And she talks a lot, even if she mingles with everyone, not many people are willing to deal with her.
Actually, I know her better, she handled her interpersonal relationships very badly, or it was related to her usual actions, but I didn't want to say it to my face, so I mentioned a few points on the side, hoping she could hear it.
If your relationships are getting worse and worse, it may be due to the following reasons, and your relationships will gradually get better after improvement.
1. Share your joy frequently
When you encounter something happy, you always want to share it with the people around you, and that's understandable.
But you have to know that in this world, no one will see you doing well except for your family and a few real friends.
If you frequently share your joy with others, you may be resented by others, who will think that you are showing off, that you are making a fuss, and that they will be jealous of you.
You think that the more you share, the more others will recognize you, and thus think that you are excellent, and the more they will regard you as a good friend. In fact, on the contrary, others will only dislike you more and more.
2. Speaking ill of others
I know that female friend, she usually likes to say bad things about others behind her back, and even when I saw her say it, she got up and left, pretending to go out to fight **.
She thinks that her evaluation of others is her own business, isn't it just a few more words to others, and the other party can't do anything to her.
But everyone present knew that people like her couldn't get along, and they usually hid as far as they could, and didn't want to listen to her.
In fact, as long as she thinks about it a little, she knows that it is wrong to say bad things about others, she just doesn't understand, or she knows but can't change it because she is used to it, causing her interpersonal relationship to get worse and worse.
3. Speak too directly and speak freely
Some people say that they speak directly because they have a bold personality and are informal.
In fact, this has nothing to do with whether the personality is bold or not, it can only be said that the emotional intelligence is not high, and the feelings of others are not taken into account. For example, if someone says that he is very bold and very direct when talking to you, which makes you lose face, do you still think he is bold?
I have seen many such people, who accuse others in the public court, do not give any face, say whatever comes to mind, and even say some vicious words, which is annoying. When you meet such a person, you won't have any more dealings with him except for forbearance, right?
Fourth, there is no empathy
You're talking to someone, you're talking about your own sadness, and he can't empathize with it, and he's still smiling and talking about his own business, aren't you disappointed? Of course disappointed, because communicating with such an unempathetic person is like playing the harp to a cow.
I also don't like to associate with such people, because he doesn't care about what people say, and he doesn't listen with his heart, he only cares about what he says.
With the experience of getting along for the first time, you are not very willing to continue dating such people. Just like my female friend who has no empathy, it's inevitable that her relationships will get worse and worse.
With this in mind, you can think about how your relationships are doing right now.
If it's not so good or there is a tendency to get worse and worse, you have to seriously summarize the reasons, such as the four points I mentioned above, you can also refer to and deal with your interpersonal relationships.