The killer that destroys marriages: complaining, apathy, and the desire to control.
In this complex world, marriage is given too many expectations and definitions. Marriage is often seen as the union of two souls, an eternal commitment. However, as time passes, the problems in the marriage gradually surface, making the original beautiful vision fragile.
It is often said that quarrels and disagreements are the main culprits that destroy marriages. But in my opinion, it is not these superficial conflicts that really destroy marriage, but those seemingly insignificant, but extremely destructive ** killers - complaining, apathy and desire to control.
Complaining: The Poison of Marriage.
Complaining is like a sharp double-edged sword that hurts both others and yourself. In marriage, complaints often come in various forms: dissatisfaction with one's partner, pickiness about the trivialities of life, anxiety about the future. These complaints are like a wave of negative energy, constantly eroding the emotional foundation between husband and wife.
Not only does complaining make your partner feel stressed, but it can also lead you into endless pain. It makes people forget to be grateful and cherished, and makes marriage become like a pool of stagnant water, losing its due vitality and temperature. Therefore, we must learn to let go of complaints and face the challenges and difficulties in marriage with a positive attitude.
Apathy: The ** killer of marriage.
Indifference is another extremely destructive killer in marriage. When problems arise between couples, some people choose to run away and cope with silence and ignorance. This indifferent attitude makes the partner feel neglected and not understood, which in turn creates a sense of estrangement and alienation.
The lethality of apathy lies in its invisibility and persistence. It does not immediately lead to the breakdown of the marriage, but it subtly erodes the trust and affection between the husband and wife. Therefore, we must learn to face the problems in our marriage bravely, resolve conflicts with honesty and communication, and rejuvenate our marriage.
Control: The shackles of marriage.
The desire to control is another common problem in marriage. Some people try to mold their partner into the ideal image in their minds, interfering and restricting their partner's behavior and thoughts excessively. This desire to control not only makes the partner feel suffocated and oppressed, but also undermines the equality and respect of the marriage.
The root of the desire to control lies in distrust of one's partner and insecurity about oneself. However, true love is based on trust and respect. Therefore, we must learn to let go of the desire to control, accept the imperfections of our partners with understanding and tolerance, and let marriage become the soil for each other's growth.
How to maintain a healthy marriage.
So, how can you maintain a healthy marriage? First, we need to learn to understand and respect each other. Everyone has their own personality and needs, and we need to learn to tolerate and accept each other's differences, rather than trying to change them. Second, we need to establish a good communication mechanism. When problems arise, do not choose to escape or cold war, but face and solve them bravely. Through open communication, we can better understand each other's needs and feelings and find solutions to problems. Finally, we need to maintain an independent and autonomous attitude. Marriage does not mean that we are completely dependent on each other, but rather that we should contribute to our married life together while maintaining our personal independence.
In short, marriage is a long practice. In this practice, we must learn to let go of the killers of complaining, indifference and control, and maintain the harmony and happiness of our marriage with understanding, respect and communication. Only in this way can we walk hand in hand on the road of marriage and create a happy and beautiful future together.