Yesterday, on the way to pick up the child from school, I saw a girl in the upper elementary school yelling at her grandfather, and his grandfather repeatedly said that he did not hit her or scold her, I don't know why she was so angry. Grandpa told her to go home and said that he felt embarrassed because there were many people coming and going on the main road. However, due to the rain, I rarely stopped **, and when I returned home, I heard the girl crying to her grandfather outside, and after more than ten minutes, I gradually didn't hear the sound. Seeing this scene made me feel a little worried about the increasingly tense parent-child relationship now. Thinking back to when we were children, we were respectful to our elders, and now children often talk back to adults, and there are also yelling, is this the wrong thing?
Due to the popularity of mobile phones and the mobile Internet, adults and children can get in touch with the online world more quickly than ever before. When we were kids, the TV was black and white and there were very few channels, not to mention computers and mobile phones. Now the mobile phone is a small computer, which can play games, watch **, sing, buy things, and order takeout. Mobile phones are a colorful kaleidoscope, and at the same time, mobile phones also make children's lives a lot more monotonous. Due to the pressure of modern society, parents basically have to go out to work, unlike the original, generally the male protagonist outside, the female protagonist inside. Adults spend most of their time on their mobile phones after work. And the friends basically don't go out to play, because now there are many people in the car, everyone is not at ease to let the children go out to play by themselves, so they are more dependent on mobile phones.
With more time online, there is less communication. If there is less communication, it will be even less smooth. Some adults think that children are still the same as when they were children, and they can yell at them. But when the adults do yell at the children, the children do the same to the adults, because they think it's a normal way of communicating. That's why I saw the opening story. So how to communicate effectively with today's children?
First of all: I think adults should lower their posture and treat children as if they were small"Adults"to treat. Treat them as an independent person in our hearts, not as our subordinates. Respect them and understand them. At this point, my children have reminded me that the foreigners in the movie will squat as tall as the children, and she thinks it is very good to talk to them, unlike some of our parents, who are high-minded, scold at every turn, and have a temper and beat. We beat and scolded the children, and now the children are still young, so they probably don't dare to resist, but when they grow up, they may resist. In fact, beating and scolding does not solve the problem, but also intensifies the conflict, and after the beating and scolding, they can no longer listen to the adults.
Second: for specific problems, we must first understand the children's real thoughts, know their real ideas, and then solve the problems. Their requirements can be met, we try to meet them, and if the requirements are excessive, we will provide them with other options, preferably one or the other. Let them choose by themselves, they choose, and the follow-up implementation is generally fine, don't choose for them. Because they feel that the parents choose it, not themselves, and the children will have a rebellious mentality when they reach a certain age. But if the children choose it themselves, they will be convinced and willingly carry it out. Of course, the choice is also made within the box you set. Occasionally, if the follow-up implementation deviates, you can also remind them in time that they have chosen it themselves and let them abide by it.
Finally: Be sure to pay attention to your child's emotions, but also your own. Children's emotions are the first factor to be taken into account, they are happy when they are happy, angry when they are angry, and they will not hide it like adults. When they are angry, keep up to date with the reason. If the problem can be solved by themselves, let them solve it themselves; If they can't solve it themselves, work with them to find a way to solve it; If you really can't solve it, you can tell them that you can find a way in the future, and maybe it will be solved by then. At the same time, adults' own emotions are also very important, and some adults are angry and angry at children, let alone deserved.
I think these three points are basic, and of course, there are many details of the follow-up exchanges, and I will learn from each other when the time comes. I hope the above will be a little helpful to parents and friends.