After getting drunk, at the instigation of millions of netizens, I bought a robot that looked the same as my crush.
I couldn't figure out the situation, I signed for the delivery, and then I was knocked in the corner by the robot.
I saw him with the same face as Qiao Yang, and said gently: "My boyfriend number is 0327, and I am in love with you today." ”
I swallowed, "Isn't it going to be too fast?" ”
"So what? ”
After saying that, he leaned down and kissed him.
Just one day before all of this happened, I was just the head of the copywriting team at Metro Media.
The administrative lady was hospitalized because of prenatal pain, and I was entrusted by her to go to the villa built by the company to arrange it in advance, and I was about to take pictures of the things for acceptance, when I heard a strange moaning sound from upstairs.
No, the last tenant who checked out didn't turn off the TV?
Something to see or something that's not legal?
The heart of justice prompted me to go upstairs to check, pushed open the door and was stunned in place, but the movement in my hand did not stop, and I pressed the camera button of my phone.
With a "click", two people who were engaged in an indescribable movement looked at me in unison.
Annoying. The year-end bonus has not yet arrived, and the green hat has arrived first.
On the eve of the wedding, I ran into my fiancé cheating on me in the company's team building villa, and his cheating partner was still my top boss.
Is there anyone in the world who is more miserable than me?
I was indignant, and I was about to become a Zuan in a minute.
Ruan Fan's house was extremely calm, wrapped in a bathrobe and shut me out of the door.
Shocked, I was so anxious that I stomped my foot, and shouted while banging on the door: "Ruan Fan, come out for me, and make it clear like a man." ”
The two people inside the door were silent, and the news on my mobile phone that I had been moved out of the corporate group came up, and the personnel also sent a message informing me that I had been fired.
How majestic is the capital?
So I didn't do anything, coded the ** in the key parts, sent it to the boss's mailbox, and copied all my colleagues.
If you have the ability, you will hide in this room for the rest of your life. ”
Broken and unemployed, I was heartbroken and hid at home to drink and get drunk. When I drank until I was dizzy, I wanted to send a beautiful photo to say goodbye to the scumbag.
So I opened a certain beauty shake to take a photo, and accidentally slipped my hand into a live broadcast.
I was scratching my head and squinting at the small words that kept jumping on the screen of my phone.
Hello beauty, "beauty drank too much".
If you drink too much, start a live broadcast, report and report. ”
I was angry for a while, "Just report it when you open your mouth, are you addicted to keyboard warriors?" I was bullied by a scumbag during the day, and I was bullied by a keyboard warrior at night. ”
Why did the scumbag bully you? ”
Three days before the wedding, he split his legs, and the target of the split leg was still my top boss. I have no love, no job, woo woo, men are all rubbish. ”
Softhearted? Even if he chases me naked for two kilometers, I will be counted as a hooligan once I turn around. ”
He's not as good as a dog, and when I throw a bone at a dog, it knows how to wag its tail at me. ”
By scolding the scumbag, I topped the live broadcast rankings, attracting millions of netizens to come and watch.
In the end, at the instigation of netizens, he spent a huge amount of money to order Bai Yueguang's boyfriend of the same style.
In their words, robots are more loyal than humans.
After the night, before I could wake up, the courier came to the door.
With a head of weeds and a face full of question marks, I signed for the delivery and fell into a myth after unpacking.
The ugliness of drunkenness returned to my mind little by little, and I remembered that I scolded Ruan Fan and was instigated to buy a love robot, but what happened to this face that was no different from Qiao Yang?
His eyes swept over the coffee table, and there was a photo of Qiao Yang's ID on the table.
It was like five thunderbolts, and unbearable memories flashed into my mind.
I told me about my crush on Joyan in front of millions of people! ”
Is it too late to die?
When I was grabbing the horse on the spot, I accidentally touched the robot's arm.
I saw him open his eyes, smiling like the spring sun, and forced me into a corner step by step.
Boyfriend number 0327, in love with you today. ”
My heart trembled for a moment, in this world, who can refuse the affectionate confession of a crush on Bai Yueguang? But I swallowed my saliva and said cowardly: "Won't it be too fast?" ”
"So what? ”
After saying that, he leaned down and kissed him.
Da Ba Da Ba Da Baa. ”
A second before his lips were attached, I pushed him away, my hands grabbing his pectoral muscles.
I pressed it, and it seemed to be quite sturdy.
Have you touched enough? ”
He hooked his lips and smiled, his eyes full of pampering, and I withdrew my hands and symbolically wiped them on my clothes.
Your robot technology is quite advanced, and it feels like a real person. But I can choose the characters of the robots on TV, there are warm men, there are bosses, why do you seem to have skipped this process? ”
In general, there is an option. ”
Am I the same? ”
You are special custom. ”
I stared at him for ten seconds and finally decided that there must be a bug in the robot's head.
Getting out from under his arm, I turned on my computer to check the order information, and petrified on the spot.
It's not him who has a bug in my head, it's me.
I actually spent 20w to fully customize the beta version of my boyfriend's hidden model - the appearance is customizable, and the emotional personality is uncontrollable.
Crazy, I must be crazy.
Open the banking app, 2The balance of 22 seems to be sarcastic to me.
Meow, how will I pay my mortgage next month?
The beta version means that the technology is not mature yet, right? ”
Well, according to the user experience, improve the emotional feedback of the robot. ”
He leaned over and sat down next to me, speaking calmly.
Take out immature things and sell them, treat me as a guinea pig for experiments, and charge me 200,000 yuan, aren't you robbing me openly? I want to return it. ”
He quietly removed my hand and slid to the bottom of the order page.
It is clearly written that the beta version will not be returned for non-quality problems with a discount.
Okay, you're ruthless.
After a brief tidying up, I picked up my bag and headed out.
He put down the ** in his hand, got up from the sofa, and asked me with a smile: "Jingjing, where are you going?" ”
His name was so natural that I lost my mind for a moment.
How do you know my name? ”
The girlfriend's name must be remembered by the boyfriend. ”
Very dedicated. I tugged at the corners of my mouth, walked over and carefully put Qiao Yang's ** into my wallet.
Jingjing, he's very similar to me. ”
I stood on tiptoe and pinched his face with both hands, "It's you, just like him." By the way, you don't have a human name yet, do you, and you'll be called Joyan in the future. ”
Okay, whatever Jingjing says, Qiao Yang will listen to. ”
The person who is very far away in his memory is saying extremely gentle words to me at this moment, and an illusion hits his heart, the 200,000 seems to be spent too much?
took Qiao Yang to No. 5 Courtyard on Jiangtai Road, and after parking the car, he went straight to the house.
Jingjing? "Don't be stunned, get out of the car and help me take pictures. ”
I took the file bag and stood at the door of the Labor and Personnel Dispute Arbitration Commission as naturally as possible, asked Qiao Yang to take pictures for me, and told him to take pictures of the signboard at the door.
After checking **, there was no problem, so I squatted on the side of the road and sent an email to the company's personnel, and by the way, I copied my immediate boss.
Jingjing, what are you doing here? ”
Holding my mobile phone and writing hard, I didn't raise my head and said, "Ask for salary." ”
* Owed you money? ”
Can't laugh at my friends, this robot is still very naïve sometimes?
It's an unscrupulous company, you haven't been to work, you don't understand, a small company like this that has a little more face, it's still very afraid of arbitration, believe it or not, they will have to contact me in less than five minutes. ”
As soon as I finished speaking, ** came to my phone, and the caller ID was "parachute", which was my immediate boss.
* As soon as she connected, she spoke, her voice languid, with a bit of disdain.
Shen Jingjing, you don't have to do this, I don't plan to deduct your salary. ”
It's just a normal consultation, but you are fired for no reason, and the year-end bonus is in vain, so you have to defend your rights. Otherwise, some capitalists always forget that only those who work are masters. ”
You can rest assured that the salary, year-end bonus and triple compensation will be received in a few minutes. I don't need you to wait until next month, it's a thank you for helping me write the code. ”
Politely, I just did what a normal person should do, unlike some people, who have no bottom line. ”
Don't choke me with words, I don't mean that to Ruan Fan, it's just that I've been entangled for a long time, and I just take what I need for a while. He pestered me, but also wanted to rely on me to rise to prominence, I let you see his true face before the wedding, you should be more grateful to me. ”
The way you scumbag and self-aware looks really leave me speechless. ”
Thanks for the compliment. I advise you, don't be soft-hearted. ”
Hang up**, I received a text message from the bank to enter the account, and the amount is exactly the same as what the "parachute" said.
After the salary is processed, the next step is the wedding.
According to the original plan, I should go to the Civil Affairs Bureau with Ruan Fan tomorrow to get the certificate, and the day after tomorrow I should drive home to hold a wedding banquet at the hotel.
And today is the day of our wedding photos.
It's a pity that now there are no more people.
I turned my head to stare at Qiao Yang up and down, thinking that the relatives at home had not seen Ruan Fan in person, so maybe I could let him replace him.
Qiao Yang, let's go to the good fate. ”
Good. "Absolute obedience, absolute loyalty, the ordinary daily life of robots, but it is the most extravagant desire of human society.
Pushing the door and walking into the good fate, the clerk has been waiting for me for a long time.
Mr. Nguyen was sitting upstairs, his clothes already changed. ”
As he spoke, the clerk looked Qiao Yang up and down, as if trying to figure out the current situation.
Please help him choose a few suitable clothes, and the groom has changed. ”
The other party was well-trained, and he didn't act too surprised, and took Qiao Yang very naturally to pick out clothes and makeup, and I went upstairs to solve Ruan Fan's ** annoyance under her gaze.
Jingjing, you're here, why haven't you changed your clothes? ”
Ruan Fan leaned over and hugged me around my waist, looking as if everything yesterday was just a nightmare.
My heart turned upside down, and I couldn't hold back my nausea and pushed him away, "It's so crisp when you close the door, what are you going to play now?" ”
Jingjing, I was just confused that day, and I fell in love with her, I just wanted to keep our jobs like that. ”
I hooked my lips and smiled, stared at him, and said word by word: "I'm afraid that you are empty of people and money, and then I think of my cash cow again." ”
After listening to me, Ruan Fan's face turned red and white, and then said without giving up: "It doesn't matter if I'm an orphan, you still have to face a group of relatives, if you think I'm disgusting, I can only accompany you to play the wedding scene, and then give me 100,000 yuan, and let's go to the other side of the road." ”
It is worthy of Ruan Fan, who wants me to pay for a couple's outfit, and he will disgust me after splitting his legs.
100,000 yuan, why don't you grab it? ”
Scarcity is expensive, and you can't find anyone else at this time. ”
Who said she couldn't find it. ”
Qiao Yang didn't know when he went upstairs, and walked over to this side step by step, the exquisite black suit made him ** fair-skinned and noble, which made me lose my mind instantly.
He stood beside me, his right hand around my waist, and his left hand between the top of Ruan Fan's head and his own neck.
Sure enough, men know how to anger men best.
It can be seen with the naked eye that the guy is in a hurry.
Shen Jingjing, you are not qualified to talk about me at all. ”
I shrugged my shoulders and said that I was fearless, and finally got rid of this ** annoyance, but when I checked out, I found that Ruan Fan's makeup had been credited to my account.
Damn, disgusted again.
I turned on my phone, searched casually, and browsed one by one, my brows furrowed slightly.
Qiao Yang leaned over and suddenly spoke: "What is the crime of forging a marriage certificate?" ”
I put away my phone and looked up at him, "If you just cheat your relatives at the wedding banquet, you shouldn't be breaking the law, or rather, you won't be arrested?" ”
Qiao Yang thought for a moment, and then said, "Jingjing, you should be a collective account, right?" ”
Oh, yes. "Then you prepare the materials, and we can go directly to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get the certificate. ”
Seeing that I was puzzled, Qiao Yang explained: "I can interfere with their computer running programs and let them recognize the documents I brought to ensure that nothing goes wrong." ”
Qiao Yang's face, with the confidence of "you can always trust artificial intelligence", I went to the Civil Affairs Bureau with him and successfully got the red book.
When I got home, the more I thought about it, the more wrong it became.
Qiao Yang, aren't we committing a greater sin by doing this? ”
I changed into my wedding dress and took Qiao Yang directly to the hotel in my hometown.
The wedding itinerary is set early in the morning, have a meal with relatives, and then go home for a night before going on a honeymoon.
The only change may be that I informed the hotel last night that I had changed the name of Ruan Fan on the wedding banner to Qiao Yang.
When the room number of the banquet hall was announced, the aunt who was sweeping the floor couldn't help but look here, and her expression was clearly saying
It was she who changed the groom the day before the wedding.
Oops, I could be the talking point of this hotel for the next month.
Walking into the banquet hall with a hard head, the relatives have already arrived.
They hadn't seen the groom in person beforehand, and I explained that I had changed the name of Gilly, so I easily fooled him.
The only thing that was difficult to deal with was my parents, who stared at Qiao Yang for a long time, and finally didn't expose it in public for the sake of face.
When I showed my marriage certificate, I had lingering palpitations.
There was a cousin who worked at the police station at the scene, and he coaxed to verify the authenticity, and my heart was in my throat, but Qiao Yang secretly grabbed my hand, and again.