In 2019, Yuan Zhiheng, an uncle in Henan who was over seventy years old, encountered a sad thing: his eldest son Yuan Liming not only did not give alimony, but also used bricks to smash him.
Supporting parents is the unshirkable responsibility of children, why does Yuan Liming refuse to give his father alimony, doesn't he know that this is illegal? is obviously a biological father and son, how did he get to the step of "turning against each other and becoming enemies"?
If you only look at the above description, I believe everyone will think that Yuan Liming did something wrong, and it was outrageously wrong, but in fact, this matter has a lot of inside information, and even the village cadres in charge of mediation have a headache.
Yuan Zhiheng has 2 sons and 1 daughter, and it stands to reason that his pension should not be worried. The old man in the countryside doesn't spend much money, and 3 children, each of whom pays a few hundred yuan, is enough for him to spend a month.
However, the reality is that Yuan Zhiheng is stretched thin, because his eldest son has not given him a penny for more than ten years, and he is now forced to take the initiative to ask his eldest son for alimony, which alarmed the village committee.
But when the mediator found the "defendant" Yuan Liming, the other party said that everything was his father's fault, and that he had no obligation to support his father.
China's law clearly stipulates that children have the obligation to support their parents, but why does Yuan Liming say that he has no obligation? Could it be that he doesn't understand the law?
50-year-old Yuan Liming may really not understand the law, but his words may not be unreasonable.
Because his mother died of illness when he was 3 years old, his father has left him alone, and later married someone else, had children, and reorganized the family.
Yuan Zhiheng's 2 sons and 1 daughter mentioned above, 1 son and 1 daughter were born to his remarried wife Li Cuirong, they are Yuan Liming's half-brother and sister.
His mother died, his father didn't care, and Yuan Liming, who was only 3 years old at the time, could only live with his grandparents. When he was 9 years old, Yuan Liming's grandmother unfortunately died, and his grandfather was unable to take care of him, so he sent him to his grandmother's house.
Yuan Liming lived in his grandmother's house until he was 21 years old, and that year he got married and had a small family of his own.
Looking back on his childhood, it is not difficult to see that Yuan Zhiheng only fulfilled his obligation to raise his son before he was 3 years old, and after the age of 3, Yuan Liming was raised by his grandmother and grandmother.
So the ones who are really eligible to ask for child support should be Yuan Liming's grandmother and grandmother, of course, the two elders have already passed away.
Not only that, Yuan Zhiheng, who abandoned his 3-year-old son, is also suspected of committing the "crime of abandonment", from this point of view, not only is he not qualified to ask the eldest son for alimony, but the eldest son can hold his father accountable for not supporting him back then.
But it's been a long time, and there's probably no point in going through old accounts again. Not to mention that Yuan Zhiheng is already seventy or eighty, even his son Yuan Liming is also over half a hundred years old.
Since he knew that he was not raising his son, why did Yuan Zhiheng still have the face to ask his eldest son to support him? This is not surprising.
Because many people think that even if their parents have not raised their sons, their sons still have the responsibility to support them, and this view is even more common in rural areas.
In fact, Yuan Liming did not refuse to pay alimony because his father abandoned him, the reason why he refused to pay was related to another matter.
This is going to involve Yuan Liming's half-brother.
A few years ago, Yuan Liming's younger brother wanted to buy a house, and his father Yuan Zhiheng took out 250,000 yuan.
But Yuan Zhiheng refused to admit that he gave 250,000 yuan, and only said that he gave his youngest son 20,000 yuan.
Because of his younger brother's purchase of a house, Yuan Liming felt that his father was too partial, not only did he not get his father's love in his childhood, but he was still treated differently by his father when he became an adult, which made his heart extremely unbalanced.
It is this psychological imbalance that makes Yuan Liming rather bear the infamy of "unfilial piety" than refuse to support his father.
After listening to Yuan Liming's complaint, the mediator talked to Yuan Zhiheng again, and learned more about the festival between the father and son from his mouth.
According to Yuan Zhiheng, he and his eldest son Yuan Liming have long had a deep contradiction.
On the first day of the Lunar New Year in 2009, Yuan Liming put two wreaths and a large bucket of dung water at the door of Yuan Zhiheng's house, and almost killed Yuan Zhiheng.
The father is still alive, but the son sends wreaths, which is indeed very excessive.
But if it's just because his father abandoned him, Yuan Liming doesn't seem to be able to do this job, is there any other secret in this?
The mediator ran back to Yuan Liming to ask, and sure enough, there were other reasons. The reason why Yuan Liming sent a wreath to his father that year was because his father had been destroying his marriage for more than ten years.
Yuan Liming got married at the age of 21, his wife gave birth to a son and a daughter for him, and the family of four was very happy, but his father Yuan Zhiheng always said bad things about his son in front of his daughter-in-law.
Once, Yuan Zhiheng even said to his daughter-in-law: "What are you still doing with Yuan Liming?" He eats, drinks, prostitutes, gambles, sells anything, and when there is nothing to sell one day, he will sell you. ”
Of course, Yuan Liming's wife did not divorce her husband because of this sentence, but after all, the other party is her husband's biological father, and it is impossible for his words not to have an impact on his daughter-in-law, plus Yuan Zhiheng said similar things not once or twice, but many times, and the daughter-in-law occasionally took it seriously, and the suspicion between husband and wife also arose.
In 2009, the reason why Yuan Liming was so angry that he sent a wreath to his father was because Yuan Zhiheng said something very excessive to his daughter-in-law not long ago, which caused his son and daughter-in-law to quarrel.
There is a saying that "family and everything is prosperous", once the husband and wife are no longer harmonious, the family will also go downhill.
So for so many years, Yuan Liming has had a very unpleasant life.
What's even worse is that in 2015, the conflict between him and his wife finally broke out, and their marriage was cut off.
was abandoned at the age of 3, favored his half-brother, and instigated his daughter-in-law to divorce him, it was these three things that made Yuan Liming hate his father so much, so for more than ten years, he refused to pay a penny of alimony to his father, and was even so angry that he wanted to hit him with a brick.
However, Yuan Zhiheng did not admit Yuan Liming's accusation, especially Yuan Liming's accusation that he did not fulfill his obligation to support him.
It turned out that after remarrying that year, although Yuan Liming did not take his son over to live with him, he bore part of his son's maintenance expenses, and the money was directly given to Yuan Liming's grandmother, that is, Yuan Zhiheng's mother.
It's just that almost no one knows about this matter, because Yuan Zhiheng and his remarried wife Li Cuirong made an agreement before they got married: the son born to his ex-wife (that is, Yuan Liming) after marriage will be cut in two, and he doesn't care if he doesn't give money.
Because he was afraid that Li Cuirong would be angry, Yuan Zhiheng only dared to secretly stuff the money into his mother's hands, and asked his mother not to talk about anyone.
In Yuan Zhiheng's opinion, if he does this part, even if he has fulfilled his father's responsibility, so now that he is old, he can naturally ask Yuan Liming for alimony.
After understanding the whole internal situation, the mediator's head is also bigger, and she feels that the Yuan father and son have been grudges for a long time, and it is probably impossible to resolve such a deep contradiction.
But Yuan Zhiheng's pension is an imminent matter, after all, they are all over seventy, and their hair is gray, how can they live without relying on their children?
Therefore, the mediator persuaded Yuan Zhiheng to apologize to his son on the one hand, and also advised Yuan Liming to do some responsibility for support for the sake of father and son.
After the mediator's painstaking persuasion, Yuan Zhiheng, who has always had a tough attitude, finally apologized to his eldest son, saying that he should not ignore him and should not let his childhood be without a father.
Hearing these words coming out of his father's mouth, 50-year-old Yuan Liming suddenly cried like a child, and this belated father's love broke his psychological defense line at once.
After Yuan Zhiheng apologized, Yuan Liming's attitude also softened. In the end, under the witness of the mediator, Yuan Zhiheng and Yuan Liming signed a pension agreement.
According to this agreement, Yuan Zhiheng's pension is jointly borne by his three children, each of whom contributes 500 yuan per month. As for the pension of Yuan Zhiheng's wife Li Cuirong, it has nothing to do with Yuan Liming.
Considering that Yuan Zhiheng did not have much responsibility for raising his eldest son, the agreement was also particularly biased towards Yuan Liming: if Yuan Zhiheng fell ill and was hospitalized one day, the medical expenses and nursing expenses would be borne by Yuan Zhiheng's 1 son and 1 daughter born of remarriage, which had nothing to do with Yuan Liming.
After the signing of this agreement, the grudge between Yuan Zhiheng and Yuan Liming's father and son can be regarded as resolving most of them.
However, for Yuan Liming, who is over fifty years old and lives alone, the alimony of 500 yuan per month may also be a big burden, and I just hope that when he can't afford it, the 1 son and 1 daughter taken away by his ex-wife can come forward.