Reading cured my mental exhaustion
This topic is suspected of being a title party, and I promise, absolutely not.
When you have a problem, don't rush to solve it, the first thing you have to do is ask yourself first:
"Why would I think this is a problem? ”
- "Too Stupid Book from Heaven".
In this tongue twister-like sentence, I still read the brilliance of truth, even though I don't understand it.
When encountering problems, analyze problems, solve problems, and constantly improve their ability to deal with problems in solving problems.
Isn't that a textbook-level solution to the problem? Why do you still ask this and that first?
"Why would I think this is a problem? "What does it mean to be covered by clouds and mountains?
When I finished reading this part of the book, I really felt empowered!
Where to start?
Let's start with Koyoshi's recent troubles.
First: Rumors
Xiao Ji is a gold medal employee of an investment company, responsible for helping companies go public and invest in related matters.
Recently he received a project to help a company go public.
This is an excellent manufacturing company in the industry, but the process of going public is difficult.
To make matters worse, other companies in the same industry have recently spread rumors and sent anonymous letters to the company's customers in order to prevent it from going public.
The boss of the company who is so annoyed can only bother Xiao Ji and Xiao Ji's boss, who spends money and who is the boss.
Okay, the problem is there, we are obedient, we don't rush to solve the problem, we ask ourselves first, "Why do I think this is a problem?" ”
Does this need to be asked?
Because other companies spread rumors that will affect their reputation, their customers will be affected, and their listing will be hindered.
No, no, no, it's just a description of the problem, "why would I think it's a problem".
I will" is the key.
I'll think it's a problem because "I" believe that rumors will affect the listing.
We will care about world wars and natural and man-made disasters, but we will not care about ant wars on the roadside. It's because we believe that the former will affect us, and the latter doesn't matter. So, we've never seen ant wars as a problem.
The reason why I believe it is because of the fear of loss in my heart.
The ultimate fear of the bosses of listed companies is that rumors will lead to the failure of the company's listing and the company's development will be hindered.
After a soul torture, we found out the ultimate cause.
Are these seemingly natural fears really real?
"If anybody thinks the problem is external from the beginning, they can't really solve any of the problems. Even if one is solved on the surface, another will soon come out - the chase of separation and the fear of loss are the machines that make everyone's problems and troubles. ”
Only a fool can say something so profound and difficult to understand, but I'm in charge of translating it for you.
What is the chase of separation?
That's a bit of a long story. I talked about separation in detail in "Don't Think, Don't Move, Be Yourself". To put it simply, you will divide many things into ranks, good and bad, right and wrong, beautiful and ugly, and so on.
For example, two different cars, which are originally means of transportation, but you think that Mercedes-Benz is better than Toyota, this is separation. With separation, you're going to chase Mercedes. I must fight hard and strive to get it. This is the chase of separation.
You may say that there is a problem with hard work and pursuit.
Oh no, that's another long story.
You can read my previous "Why can you do nothing after "do nothing"? The ultimate secret, I see! Or go to see "Too Stupid Book of Heaven" 34. The desire to act; 5.4. The reversal of the chase) As soon as I write an article, I always move the cheese of the inherent thinking in everyone's mind.
It's not about not acting, it's about the state of mind when you act.
Back to that phrase.
The meaning of this is that the reason why we think this is a problem must be because we care about it.
Why care about it? Because we have an unshakable idea in our hearts.
What about this concept? The chase of separation and the fear of loss.
The boss's preconceived notion is that rumors can affect reputation and therefore listing.
Do rumors really affect reputation? Or is it just that we feel that rumors can affect reputation.
Does reputational compromise really hinder listing? Or do we feel that reputational damage will hinder listing?
Even if we are not engaged in this industry, we also know which company has not experienced unfair competition in the process of development, and which company will not encounter this or that obstacle in the process of listing?
If the listing review committee rejects a company's listing because of rumors or objections, it is estimated that few companies will have a chance to go public.
It's like when we go to buy something online, if we read the reviews, our final result is most likely to be that we can't buy anything.
Therefore, the crux of the matter is not rumors, but that both Xiao Ji and the big boss believe that rumors will affect the listing in fear of loss.
If they were able to clear the ultimate fear, the problem would not exist at all. Looking at the rumors again, it's as funny as watching small ants fight on the side of the road.
I once listened to Mr. Ning Xiangdong's "Tsinghua Management" class, and there was a case in it that left a deep impression on me. It's about how to public relations in the face of rumors. The best course of action is cold treatment.
Even if those rumors don't exist at all, the more you try to refute them, the more true these things will become. When you ignore those rumors, the people who spread the rumors and the listeners will find it uninteresting, and naturally they will not continue to chase those meaningless things.
Remember, any counterattack against an attack actually strengthens that attack in the end.
Again, that's a long story. (I'm interested in reading ".- "Too Stupid Book from Heaven".》3.5 Attack Traps)
Is it true that just do nothing and the problem is solved?
There is one more thing to do, and that is to "be yourself".
What is Being Yourself?
Dispel all fears and doubts about the IPO process, don't go into a war of words with any competitor, and don't think about this today and that tomorrow. Concentrate on doing what you have to do, that's all.
After a long time, let's sum it up.
First, don't rush to solve the problem, first ask yourself, "Why do I think this is a problem?" ”
Second, identify your own fears and preconceived notions of chasing separation.
Then, ask yourself, is what you think is the right idea?
Finally, break out of stereotypes, eliminate fears and pursuits, and focus on being yourself.
The class is finished, whether you have mastered it or not, you still have to do exercises to know.
Let's start by contributing a question that has been bothering me for a long time.
Second: Tearing the heart
I am engaged in the civil design industry, yes, it is the industry that Zhang Xuefeng instructed not to apply for.
Overtime, or even mandatory overtime, is a norm in this industry.
But this normalcy went wrong after I had children.
As a mother, on the one hand, the big tearful eyes of the children after seeing you return late, and on the other hand, the huge pressure of the leader to patrol late at night.
I believe this is also a dilemma that every working mother has faced.
During that time, it was torn apart by two forces, and it almost collapsed.
I asked myself why I felt like it was a question at the time, what I was chasing, what I was fearing.
I peeled back the cocoon and asked carefully.
I am afraid of working overtime because I am worried that the lack of companionship will affect my child's growth and psychology.
If I don't work overtime, and I'm worried that the leader will have an opinion about me, the year-end bonus will also drop sharply because of this.
I asked myself again whether the lack of companionship affected my growth and psychology, or whether I felt that the lack of companionship affected my growth and psychology.
If you don't work overtime, you will have an opinion, or do I think that if you don't work overtime, you will have an opinion.
Judging from the experience of getting along with the child later, whether the child is healthy or not has little to do with companionship, what really matters is whether the child feels love in you.
A mother who complains every day, even if she does not leave for a moment, is not as effective as a relaxed and happy mother.
If you don't work overtime, the leader will have an opinion, and I still can't say well. Everyone has a different position, and they may all have bitterness.
However, it is possible to put aside the fear of lack of companionship and at least try to get the job done when you need to work overtime.
The work has been done dutifully, and if the leader is dissatisfied or has a salary cut just because he didn't work overtime, that's the problem he fears and chases.
All I have to do is concentrate on what I have to do, work well when I work, and accompany me when I am company.
Be clean and dedicated.
Well, after such an analysis, this panacea seems to be really good.
One doesn't work, another one.
Third: learning confusion
In the past few days, the school has started, and parents have celebrated the return of the mythical beast.
Children's learning has always been a headache for parents.
Today I am worried that my child's concentration is not good, tomorrow I feel that my child is a little procrastinating, and the day after tomorrow I say that my child has no perseverance.
It seems that when it comes to learning, children are never satisfied.
So, let's try it again with a panacea.
Why do we think these behaviors in our children are a problem?
What are we afraid of, what are we chasing?
We are afraid that if our children do not do well in their studies, they will not be able to get into a good university, and if they can't get into a good university, they will not be able to have a good job, and without a good job, life will not be happy.
After a series of divine deductions in our minds, we have come to the conclusion that poor academic performance directly leads to unhappiness in life.
That does sound scary!
Our brain's favorite game is to create unreal horror.
But is that really the case?
Needless to say, the news reports how many outstanding people are depressed and jump off the building, and there are so many doctors and postdoctoral students from so many famous universities around me, and they are not sad every day, and there are many problems.
Feng Tang originally worked at McKinsey & Company, and was promoted to partner in six years, which is a good job in our eyes!
But he said that at that time, I was under too much pressure at work, and I couldn't sleep every night. Don't deify success, slowly you will know that there is *** in success.
Fan Deng said something when he was lecturing, they had a few good classmates, and they would get together when they were fine. There is a classmate who doesn't like to go at first, why? Because his child's academic performance is not good.
Although this child has poor grades, he is very fond of cooking. Later, because of his outstanding cooking skills, he was hired as a chef by a Michelin-starred restaurant in France. After that, this classmate not only actively attended the party, but also often brought his son wine from the French estate.
There is no way to plan life, and there is more than one path in life.
We always look outside for reasons. Never took a good look at myself.
People who feel that they have a bad academic background attribute the problems of life to not having good grades.
People who feel that their original family is not good attribute the problem to not having a good parent.
People who feel unhappy in their marriage attribute their pain to not having a good partner.
We always feel that people's experiences are conditioned by external factors, random and uncontrollable. Be vigilant about any external disturbances, so that you can avoid harm.
However, it is this fear that makes us create all kinds of problems and then can't wait to solve them. Never really realize that the nature of the problem is all self-made.
And finally: the First World War
Wang Yangming sighed when he was plagued by bandits in Pingnan and Jiangxi five hundred years ago, "It is easy to break the mountain and be a thief, but it is difficult to break the heart!" ”
Why do I think this is a problem?", the most difficult thing in this sentence is not to find out your own obsession, nor to let go of the fear of loss.
The hardest part is how to break our stereotypes.
If Xiao Ji and the boss of the listed company still believe that rumors will sabotage the listing, if the parents insist that academic qualifications are important, no matter how good the panacea is, they will not be able to solve their problems.
That's why Lao Tzu told us more than 2,000 years ago to be humble and humble as a valley.
The old man of King Wen also only set the "humble hexagram" as the only hexagram among the sixty-four hexagrams that the six hexagrams are auspicious.
True wisdom can only flow into our minds when we empty our minds of ideas that we take for granted.
It is not difficult for a person to solve problems with the external world, but it is difficult to deal with oneself and overcome oneself.
I know that my article is a drop in the bucket for decades of preconceived notions in the brain.
However, I am still willing to use this faint light to let everyone know what the light looks like.
When Hua Shan talked about "The Art of War", he said that winning a hundred battles is not really powerful, but a real master is determined by a battle.
Fighting again and again can only show that there is no solution to the problem, and that they are making a show and showing others.
The real masters are all determined by the first battle!
I hope we can all really break our obsessions and be masters of the first war.
For more exciting content, go to see "Too Silly Book from the Sky"!