In order to devote herself to caring for her child with depression, a mother quit her job and left her job to spend time with her child. However, she found it extremely difficult to communicate with her children, who were particularly reluctant to listen to her, causing tension in their relationship. How do I communicate with a depressed child? What are some of the things that children will resist? 
As a psychological counselor, I would like to remind parents that the inner world of anxious and depressed children is special, no matter what the cause of depression is, they are suffering from pain that is difficult for others to understand. The following five sentences should not be said to children casually.
The first sentence is "You are just too sensitive, you should be strong".
Sensitivity is not a personal choice, and it is not good or bad. Because of this trait, your child may feel that he has done something wrong and that he or she has been criticized. And depression can't even resist **, how can you ask for it with strength?
If you really want to show your concern, it is most appropriate to ask him if he has eaten enough and how he feels.
The second sentence is "Don't be nervous, try to relax".
This may be a comforting word for many parents, but it will only make the child feel more stressed. In fact, the amount of pressure is not something you can control when you say control, such as taking an exam, not being able to sleep, cold hands and feet during the exam, lack of concentration, and sweating ...... your headThese are all caused by stress. Besides, telling your child "don't let the pressure get too much" will make them feel that the stress is all self-inflicted and will only make them.
Parents can ask what they want us to do. Ask them in which situations they feel slightly better and in which situations they feel bad?
The third sentence is "You have to control your emotions."
Emotions are not something that can be controlled, especially for small children. Depression itself makes people emotionally volatile and unenergetic, how can they control it? Blindly trying to harness emotions with "control" will only lead to emotional out-of-control.
Parents should be able to make them feel relaxed, safe, happy, accepting themselves and others, working together with their children, and growing together, which is of vital help to them.
Fourth, "You always make excuses".
Just imagine, how can a person who is good at making excuses still feel pain after finding a reason?More often than not, they feel relieved and relieved after finding an excuse rather than pain. Conversely, depressed people feel frustrated and incompetent because they are unable to do certain things, and then fall into a spiral of self-blame and remorse. The pain of depression, like a deep sense of self-blame and frustration, haunts all the time, hollowing out one's joy and self-confidence, as if falling into the abyss of endless darkness.
Try to understand your child's true feelings with concern and curiosity, rather than judging your child based on your own judgment.
The fifth sentence is "I'm all for your good".
This sentence annoys many children who are not sick, and it is even more uncomfortable for depressed people to listen to it. He felt that this sentence was not only accusing him of not knowing understanding and gratitude, but also touching his inner trauma and making him lose control of his emotions.
Show your concern for your child by saying, "I understand that you're not angry with me, you're just feeling sad." I know you're having a hard time right now, so you can rest at home without any burden. Mom and Dad will understand you.
Depression is a heavy dilemma that can only be healed through deep, firm and sincere love. This kind of love can pass through the surface of life that seems to be about to disappear and go straight to the root of life. It resonates with the heartfelt emotions that lie deep in the child, dispels the despair and pain that surrounds them, and revitalizes them. You know, depression doesn't happen overnight, and you need to invest enough time and patience to adjust slowly. Don't rashly label your child as depressed, even if you can't do anything, just be with him with your selfless love. Please believe that love can work miracles, break down all barriers, and change everything.
I hope to provide some substantial help and support to the "poor parents of the world". If you think it's useful, please like and follow, support me, I'm Wu Xiaomei, a psychological counselor, your anxiety companion.