I thought about it for a long time before I put this article in front of you.
2024 is the fourth year of my failed investment, the four years of gloom, the four years of helplessness and struggle, and the four years of ridicule and slander. Life is full of unknowns, accidents or tomorrow don't know which comes first? The accident comes first, and you will be thorny and helpless along the way. Come first tomorrow, you will also sing all the way, thank fate for not giving up, and the tears and sweat paid have a heavy harvest.
Like most post-80s generations, I was born in a remote mountain village. At that time, there was a scarcity of materials, but there was a time when there was childlike fun everywhere, and people who came all the way should know that a wooden stick could be played with for a few days and still felt precious. There are many brothers and sisters, so the clothes are worn in turns. Patched clothes and patched shoes should be unique to that era, and they can't be worn out. That's how I came here. My parents are more open-minded and know the importance of reading, and they have always emphasized that books can get you where you can't reach, and they have worked hard, but they still can't get too good grades. After graduating from high school, I came out of society, and I am ashamed of my parents for studying, and I still can't let go of it.
When I came out of society as a teenager, everything was so fresh, and everything seemed so ignorant. Seriously, as soon as I came out, I entered the factory, and when I came out alone, it seemed that entering the factory was the only way out at that time, so I was so confused. Unlike the world I imagined, I hated the oppressive feeling of the factory, I often missed my mother, I wanted to go home, and when there were not many people, tears kept flowing. It was September 2006, and I will never forget the first stop in Shajing, Shenzhen.
In 2007, I came to Shenzhen Gongming alone, with a few hundred yuan, I sold electrical appliances for no reason, all the electrical appliances are bought by others and the accessories are assembled back, the quality is not very good, but the business is good, I am very grateful to those strange friends here. There is trust, there is luck, maybe it is such an environment, such an era, the fish and dragons are mixed, and the three religions and nine streams have created a group of barbaric businessmen.
My personality is a bit cowardly and sentimental, which is a bit with my mother, and it is still like this, maybe I can't change it in this life, but I'm never afraid of things, but I'm afraid of death, it seems a bit contradictory. Business is a thing, there are good ones, there are bad ones, people with red eyes will naturally be evil from the side of the guts, well, the business of selling inferior electrical appliances is over.
This is my hometown.
Many times I am ashamed of my parents and can't give them some good life, and to this day the two of them are still running for a living, and often seeing their rickety backs makes my heart ache. It's very helpless, the children are incompetent, and the parents are guilty. My heart has never been restless, a little achievement began to be lonely and self-appreciative, proud, overestimating himself, but also underestimating the cruelty of social competition, once a man loses the economy, the most direct impact is the family, directly reflected in life, or my parents will not be in the old age but grovel for life.
In 2020, it will be unforgettable. I'm 34 years old, and if I had a stable family, it would have been full of laughter, but I didn't. Seeing other people's family of three walking hand in hand, my heart couldn't calm down for a long time, I should have had it, but then I dispersed. The child said that he had never met his mother, and I didn't know how to tell him the truth to get him over the hurdle in my heart. Looking at my parents' growing gray hair, which was still dark a few years ago, my heart felt like a knife. I felt guilty and life succumbed to my stubbornness.
The epidemic in 2020 came very suddenly, and my career ended very suddenly, and I didn't have time to prepare, so I just watched it disappear. I still don't believe it, the streets were deserted that night, I wandered the streets alone, and my heart was icy. In Guangzhou for 8 years, I came empty-handed at the beginning, but in the end I left empty-handed. How many 8 years are there in life? What have I given in these 8 years? How much have you suffered? What else can I do now? What else can be done?