How to get along with people with avoidant personalities, respectively.
The first, second, third and fourth parts are explained.
What's more, you are still dealing with a child who has not fully grown up, has no ability to empathize, and is also rebellious. What you can do at this time is to live yourself and wait quietly. Do you decide to read this further?
The third stage, if you have finally reached this stage, you must let him know that your love for him is unwavering and that you will never leave him. Because you've slowly built a safe fortress for avoidance. In this fortress there is love, dependence, friendship, affection and responsibility. He can reinvent his secure attachment system in this fortress. At the same time, you have to start setting some framework between you for avoidance, what he can't do to you, and what he has to do as a party in the intimate relationship. That's right, you're going to start turning the tables, you're going to show your strength, and you're going to follow him in everything. But the process will be long, maybe three or five years, maybe ten years, maybe a lifetime.
He may still ignore your emotions and your generosity. However, love is like this, sometimes it needs to be borne silently, like two parallel railroad tracks, always keeping a distance, but extending together into the distance. Don't take this as a setback, because you choose to pay voluntarily, and each choice has its own unique costs and gains. In this journey of love, you have been brave enough to show your emotions, no matter what the outcome may be.
Only you know that intimacy is not your safe haven or a lifeline, it cannot eliminate all the setbacks and unhappiness in your life. Truly realize that your happiness and joy cannot be given by others, and that others are powerless to mold you into perfection.
True love is not to mold you into what I think I am, but to be by your side, witnessing myself glowing. When you really understand this, you will find that no one can fill the void in your heart, because all relationships, in the end, are a dialogue with your own heart. What we need is a soul that can resonate with us to explore and grow together on the road of life.
Every relationship is a journey to find and prove yourself. When we learn to embrace ourselves affectionately, we can truly open our hearts to love others. When we reach such a state, we will be able to stop expecting too much. Because everything we do is not for the sake of pursuing a certain result, but for self-growth and satisfaction.
So, let's imagine what it would be like if you did walk into that house as you wished. Perhaps, in the world of fairy tales, they have lived happily ever after, and the story has come to a perfect end. But life isn't that simple.
Even in the face of various challenges and difficulties, you still choose to accompany and avoid them, and go on bravely. Then, may you continue to grow in the company of relative true love, and finally awaken in the brilliance of absolute true love.