It is better to rely on oneself to support the elderly, keep these three things, and be happier in old age.
As the saying goes:Backing the mountain, the mountain willPour; DamnTreesYesShake；It's best on your own
People must not bet on others, because no one is as reliable as himself. Even if it is your own children, don't unnecessarily put the hope of providing for the elderly on them.
My aunt is a rural person, and their deep-rooted idea is to "raise children to prevent old age", so when they were young, they desperately wanted to have a son. In order to have a son, they gave birth to 4 daughters in one go.
When they gave birth to their sons, their hearts were relieved. But when the son grew up, he ignored them and made them sad. But there is nothing to be done.
There are young people who work hard and have nothing to provide for when they are old, that is, they only focus on their children to provide for themselves, and ignore other things.
Therefore, only by keeping three things can one's life in old age be guaranteed and happiness.
Money and houses.
My husband's uncle is from the countryside, and he demolished and rebuilt 7 houses. He had only one son, and he gave all six houses to his son, leaving one house to live in by himself.
Later, the son lost money in business, and the house was all sold. In the end, the son started the idea of his parents' last house.
The son lied to his uncle and aunt that he would take the house to the bank for a mortgage, but the uncle didn't understand, so he gave the house to his son.
The son turned around and mortgaged the house to the bank, and then borrowed money from a small loan company in violation of regulations.
In the end, the house was auctioned off by the bank, and my uncle and aunt had no place to live, so they had to move to a remote old house.
When we went to see them that year, we saw the crumbling house, and we all burst into tears.
We asked my cousin, did he leave you alone?
They replied sadly, "I ran away from the debt, and there was no **." Don't know if people are a**? Our old couple now have no house and no money. In the future, if you are scared, no one will bury you if you die. "It's embarrassing.
If they had left two houses for themselves, one for themselves and one for rent. Their lives will definitely not be so embarrassing, their lives will be very different from now, and they will live happily in their old age.
At that time, they only thought about giving everything to their son, but forgot that their son sometimes gave up his parents because of life. They can only blame themselves for this outcome.
2. Assertive. When parents are old, some children feel that their parents are old and don't understand anything, so they will use their own thoughts to force their parents to do what they want.
My mother-in-law has been living with my sister-in-law, and many of her thoughts have changed, she has no thinking of her own, and everything has to go through my sister-in-law and let my sister-in-law give her ideas.
My mother-in-law has an old house that her husband and uncle bought with money, and when she said that the house would be owned by the two brothers.
Later, the house was demolished, and the brothers discussed with their mother-in-law and asked her mother-in-law to take two small houses, one for rent and one for herself. In this way, the mother-in-law not only has her own house to live in, but also has an income.
After listening to her son's thoughts, the mother-in-law also agreed.
In the evening, she couldn't wait to call her sister-in-law **, saying that the disposal of the house was a problem.
For her own benefit, the sister-in-law gave her mother-in-law a bad idea. She asked her mother-in-law to take the demolition fee, not the house.
Use the demolition money to buy a new house and write your name. The house was later owned by the three children.
In this way, the husband and uncle both have opinions about the mother-in-law, but the sister-in-law sits on the fisherman's profits.
I think that when the old man is old, he must have his own opinions, instead of listening to other people's ideas for all his thoughts, so that the old man will have no autonomy and less ability to be a maverick.
Sticking to your own opinions is the best way to get old. Some children just want the old man to have no idea, so that they can help the old man get the idea so that they can achieve their own goals.
Such old people lack their own opinions, like marionettes, follow the thinking of others, which will cause family discord and no happiness in old age.
3. The desire to control.
As the saying goes, "Children and grandchildren have their own blessings."
If the elderly live with their children, they must know how to control their emotions and interfere less in their children's lives, so that the family will be harmonious and their old age will be happy.
My colleague Sister Li chatted with me that day, saying that she was in a dilemma and wanted to send her mother back to her hometown, but she couldn't do it.
She told me, "Mother was a very controlling person, and she demanded that we live according to her, or she would keep nagging until we gave in." ”
For example, when we have two days off, we will get up late. We would tell my mother in advance and tell her not to be our breakfast, and we would not get up until noon. But my mother didn't get used to us, and she kept knocking on the door until we got up. ”
At home, many of my husband's small problems will be exaggerated by her, nagging in front of me every day. I have to make a statement, I have to think about her. Or get angry with me and ignore me for a few days. I can't help it, I can only trouble my husband. In this way, our little family was disturbed by her, and there was no peace for a moment. ”
She must distinguish between right and wrong in doing things, and she can't be sloppy. Especially for the attitude towards her husband, it is to keep suppressing and make him obey unconditionally. ”
I immediately sympathized with Sister Li, for having a controlling parent at home, I can't think of any other good way except to separate.
For parents, into the family of their children. You must know to hide your strength and don't put yourself at the top of the family, so that the children's family will also be led astray and will become a victim of unhappy marriage.
To sum up, the pension cannot rely on children, but only on oneself. Only by keeping one's property, self-esteem and desire for control can the elderly be happy, so that their old age will not become a burden to their children and will not increase the pressure on themselves. Do you want to have such an old age?