Editor's Choice
May You Grow Up Slowly I want you to be an elegant and lovely person. Liu Yu, Zhou Guoping, Qingshan, Liu Cixin, Feng Tang, Li Yinhe, Zheng Yuanjie, Lin Qingxuan, Feng Zikai, etc., write together for love and nourish children's hearts with the wisdom of life.
Liu Yu said, I pray that you can "succeed", but what I understand as success is that a person has awe and enthusiasm for what he does.
Zhou Guoping said that it is important for children to keep a courageous and open mind to the major and confusing issues of life from an early age, which will help to grow a fundamental honesty in his soul.
Qingshan said, what is there to worry about? The child has to grow up slowly according to her own inner rhythm.
Zuckerberg said, may the world you grow up in is better than the world we have today.
May You Grow Up Slowly" is a book for children, and it is also a book for parents all over the world. Let's slowly explore and become a better person together.
12 Questions Parents Need to Ponder:
1. My child, what is the ultimate foundation of his fate, future, and happiness in life? That's what I'm thinking about.
2. All anxiety comes from comparison. I don't want to compare.
3. Everyone has a positive nature. Don't get too nervous. Don't transfer anxiety to the child, let alone transmit people's fears, greed, and utilitarianism to her in the process of exerting pressure.
4. Have you thought about it? How many people are taking advantage of your anxiety? Are many of our practices really for the good of our children, or for self-satisfaction? Are we being exploited by the early childhood training market? Why should you plan your own children according to someone else's project? If you don't spend some money, you won't spend it, so don't be upset.
5. Whether you want to admit it or not, sooner or later we will know that planning children. A lot of efforts were in vain.
6. Every child is an independent individual, with his own life trajectory, let go, let some uncertain things in life, and let children rely on their own creativity and imagination to discover and find. It's also good.
7. Our words and deeds will infect children. The impact is huge.
8. Delete "I'm doing this for your good" from your font.
9. Everyone is inferior to others. It's not hard to accept that.
10. Listen carefully to your child, respect her choices, and give her a sense of security and trust. It's more important than signing up for any interest class.
Discover your child's brilliance in the bits and pieces of life, and help her have long-term dreams and implement plans. Instead of comparing yourself with others, you should compare yourself with your past self.
11. What kind of person I am, what kind of person my children will be.
12. Education is to do oneself well. Live a good life as a family.
Introduction
May You Grow Up Slowly is a collection of essays by famous writers of "slow parenting", including nearly 30 essays, including letters written by parents to their children, their own growth experiences and views on their children's education, etc., providing many educational experiences worthy of parents' reference. The authors of these essays come from different fields, including teachers, writers, scholars, scientists, businessmen, and ordinary people, and their letters to their children are warm and touching, and their cognition and thinking about children's personalities are real, objective, full of humanity, full of reflection on their own growth experience, and have a relatively unique view on the education of the next generation.
About the Author
Liu Yu. Female, scholar, writer and poet, born in December 1975, graduated from Chinese Renmin University in 1996, obtained a master's degree in political science from Chinese University in 1999, and received a doctorate degree in political science from Columbia University in 2006. He is the author of "The Details of Democracy" and "Send You a Bullet".
Zhou Guoping. Born in Shanghai in 1945, he graduated from the Department of Philosophy of Peking University in 1967 and the Department of Philosophy of the Graduate School of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences in 1981. He is the author of "Nietzsche: At the Turning Point of the Century", "Nietzsche and Metaphysics", "Niu Niu: A Father's Notebook", "Years and Temperament: My Spiritual Autobiography", etc., and translated "Selected Essays on Nietzsche's Aesthetics" and "Nietzsche's Collected Poems".
Illustrator
Zheng Kaige (Zhuang Zhuang, son of Li Yinhe) was born in Beijing in 2000 and dropped out of school to learn painting at home due to learning difficulties. His works have been published in Flower City magazine and participated in an exhibition of paintings for children with autism.
The fragrance of books nourishes the family styleWonderful book reviewMay you have good luck, and if not, may you learn to be merciful in your misfortunes. May you be a lot of people, if not, may you learn to be tolerant in loneliness. May you be able to sleep until you wake up naturally every day for the rest of your life. Liu Yu.
Losing at the starting line does not necessarily mean that you will fail for the rest of your life, and winning at the starting line does not necessarily mean that you will succeed for the rest of your life. - Li Yinhe.
A good person is not because of how high the IQ is, but because he has a very clear goal and knows how to achieve it against all odds. - Time.
I can't stress enough that children's minds are much more delicate and sensitive than we think, and we must not underestimate them. Zhou Guoping.
What's there to hurry? The child always has to grow up slowly according to her own inner rhythm. Nothing is more important to them than nature and staying happy and energetic. - Kyungsan (Baby Anne).
Table of Contents
Part 1 Dear child - May you be loved by many people, if not, may you learn to be tolerant in loneliness.
May you grow up slowly Liu Yu 4
I don't want to grow up Zhou Guoping 14
About Father and Son 28
Every life has its own light 36
Winning at the starting line doesn't necessarily mean a lifetime of success Lee Yinhe 42
Big Male Feng Tang 48
A letter to his son Cai Chunzhu 54
Our lives are separate from each other's Baby Anne 66
Three truths about classical 74
To his son Liang Jizhang 80
About the World Two Hundred Years Later by Liu Cixin 84
Let your child work hard to get 7-17 Lin Qingxuan 92
I'll give you a child Zhang Xiaofeng 100
We want you to grow up in a world that is better than the world we have today Zuckerberg 104
Part 2 Master's Advice - To know how to live a happy life, you must learn to live a variety of different lives.
Don't ask about the harvest, but ask about the cultivation Liang Qichao 112
Be a man and be the best person Hu Shi 118
Why read Hu Shi 124
To know how to live a happy life, to learn to live a variety of different lives Dong Qiao 134
Xiao Fangzi, you can't play Cao Yu 140 anymore
Child Liang Shiqiu 146
To my children Feng Zikai 152
Children often read these five types of books, and their lives will be rich Qian Mu 158
Why do children have to go to school (Japanese) Kenzaburo Oe 172
Children who love insects (France) Fabre 182
Part 3 Notes of Love – I once again believe in Him unconditionally.
I sent her to a place where she could use her (US) Terry Johnson 204
Once again, I believe unconditionally in her Time 212
Please be gentle and firm with your child in One Thought 226
What if you had a diamond? Chen Zihan 232
Wangzi**—Twenty years of fear, Wang Sen, 240
Wonderful book excerpts
May you grow up slowly".
Liang Jizhang: 1. Don't mind too much about people who treat you badly, in your life, no one is obliged to be good to you, except for me and your mother. As for those who are good to you, in addition to cherishing and grateful, please also be more vigilant, because everyone does everything for a reason, he is good to you, not necessarily because he likes you, please you have to figure it out, and don't have to be too quick to see the other party as a true friend.
2. No one is irreplaceable, and nothing must be owned. Seeing through this, you should understand that this is not a big deal when the people around you no longer want you in the future, and perhaps lose everything you love most in the world.
3. Life is short, today you are still wasting your life, tomorrow you will find that life has been far away from you. Therefore, the sooner you cherish life, the more life-friendly days you will enjoy, and instead of hoping for longevity, it is better to enjoy it sooner.
4. Although many accomplished people do not have a lot of education, it does not mean that they can succeed without studying. What you learn, is what you have. People can build a family from scratch, but they can't be unarmed, remember!
5. You can ask yourself to be trustworthy, but you can't ask others to be trustworthy, you can ask yourself to be good to others, but you can't expect others to be good to you. What you do to people doesn't mean how they treat you, and if you don't see through that, you'll only add unnecessary troubles.
6. Relatives only have one fate, no matter how long I will get along with you in this life, please cherish the time together, in the next life, whether you love or not, you will never see each other again.
Lin Qingxuan: 1. I found that mainland parents are very concerned about grades and want their children to take the first place, in fact, the world's elites are not the top students of the year, and their ranking in the class is seventh to seventeenth. The reason is that these children have better interpersonal relationships, but.
To be friends with the first place, you can also be friends with the last place, and the child is less stressed, life is easier, is the best creativity.
2. Maybe the children's grades are not very outstanding and not so good, but don't give up, because every child in the world is different, just like plants, bamboo shoots and bananas are planted on the hillside, watermelon and cantaloupe are planted in the sand, taro is planted in the mud, different plants are suitable for different lands, not only one look. The sadness of this world is to gather all the differences in one campus and hope that education will be the same, which is a big problem.
3. Awaken the seed in your heart, which is a good child. Educating children according to their characteristics is to awaken the seeds in their hearts.
Child. A good child is a child who has awakened the seed of his heart, and they have realized themselves, while a bad child has not awakened the seed of his heart, has not realized himself, and is still living in a state of confusion.
4. Children grow up too fast, if you don't love your children carefully and live with your children carefully, you will no longer know your children and no longer see your children's hearts.
Time: 1. Educating children is divided into two parts, family education and school education. Family education is mainly to cultivate good habits, establish a correct outlook on life, and forge excellent character, and the study of cultural knowledge is mainly based on school education. I am mainly responsible for the education of the child's personality, habits, character, etc., and the child's mother is mainly responsible for the guidance and communication of daily life and dealing with people. In addition, as much as possible, do not let the elderly take care of the children, educate the children, and when one of the parties is educating the children, the other party must not interfere, let alone protect the children, and another, no matter when the child is reminded of safety first! (This is the most important thing!) )
2. If you want your child to stand out among her peers, you have to see her as a child a few years older to communicate and educate.
3. This stage of junior high school is a watershed in life, determining the general direction of everyone's life, if you have your own clear goals to achieve it, then you have to plan now, if you feel that you have no goals, just want to live easily, it is also a good choice. If you feel that you are too tired to study at this stage, you can also ask for a period of time off, we all agree, but you have to take responsibility for your decision.
4. If you say that you have no feelings for the opposite sex in adolescence, it is abnormal, and youth without a feeling of love is incomplete, but Dad gives you a bottom line, that is, you must not hurt your body and mind because of this, and enjoy your own youth happily above this bottom line.
One thought: 1. Be patient, treat your child gently, establish a relationship with your child, and let your child feel close to you. For a child who is more than a year old, accompany him more, caress him, hide behind his mother and play *** games with him. A little older, three or five years old, you can care about what he draws in his paintings, go to ** on the weekend to play, you can also join his games, race with him or something. At the age of six or seven, you can care about the image he likes - Ultraman or Queen Elsa, Snow White or something like that, and make your child feel that you are safe and care about him. This is very important. At the same time, you should be very principled and have a bottom line in your heart, and know what your child can and cannot do.
2. The real "freedom" is a gradual process of letting go, when the child is one or two years old, the brain is not very clear, what does it mean for you to let him decide? He simply didn't know what the outcome of his decision would be, and he couldn't afford it. Therefore, "freedom" and responsibility are one. He can have as much responsibility as he can.
3. "Firmness" must be implemented for a long time and must form a habit. Parents have principles and bottom lines in their hearts, so they must always adhere to such principles and bottom lines.
Your child may be rolling on the ground because he doesn't want to wear thick clothes, or he may cry for two or three hours because he doesn't have a popsicle, but as long as you make a decision, no matter what he does, stick to your decision. Day after day, year after year, you will always have principles in your heart, and your child will grow into an adult with principles and strong self-control. Because he knows that it's useless to cry, and he always has to do what he needs to do.
Zheng Yuanjie: As long as you have children, you should be an actor. The child's imitation ability is super strong, which is beyond the reach of any Oscar actor or actress. From the birth of a child, parents have to be actors for at least 18 years. There are two kinds of actors: true actors and acting actors. If you want your child to be as productive as you, you should be an actor; If you want your child to be more productive than you, you should be an acting actor. For example, you don't like to read, but when the child is present, you should also hold a book and read it as if you were in a hurry, so that the child will have a worship psychology of reading from an early age - the root of educating children is to teach by example. Close your mouth, lift your legs, go your way through life, and show it to your kids.
Wang Sen: I have been a father for 22 years, although the process is a little scary, but the happiness is irreplaceable. What Lao Tzu has worked hard to pull you up, you should say nonsense about Lao Tzu, the child's life belongs to himself, he came to this world passively, if you don't give him the ability to live according to his own will, it is your dereliction of duty, if you are not willing to let him live according to his own will, it is selfish. Of course, there can not be the slightest "raising children to prevent old age" in the meaning of "Wangzi**", that is to train the child to become a tool for you to provide for the elderly, rather than a real person. The child comes into this world with only one obligation, that is, to grow up to be a free and independent person, and then to experience his life well.
Liu Yu: 1. Mom hopes that you will not come to this world for nothing, but that you can have the desire and ability to appreciate its sparkling goodness, and fulfill its better with your own goodness.
2. Little cuckoo, may you grow up slowly. May you have good luck, and if not, may you learn to be merciful in your misfortunes.
May you be loved by many, and if not, may you learn to be tolerant in your loneliness.
May you be able to sleep until you wake up naturally every day for the rest of your life.
Zhou Guoping: 1. Shaoguang passes, life is easy to get old, people often think that only adults can have such melancholy, but in fact, it is not. We always underestimate the hearts and minds of our children. My own childhood memories, my daughter's early childhood behavior, prove that a person can grieve the rush of time and grieve over the limits of life and death early in life. Don't say that because I'm a philosopher, I knew when I was a kid that I would make a career out of philosophy in the future. Don't say that because Jiu Jiu is the daughter of a philosopher, her distress has nothing to do with philosophical theories. I can't stress enough that children's minds are much more delicate and sensitive than we think, and we must not underestimate them.
2. Let the child have the courage to face the most important and perplexing problems of life from an early age and keep an open mind, which will definitely have no advantages and no disadvantages, and help to grow a fundamental honesty in his soul. The sorrow in the child's soul and the confusion in the mind, as long as the adults can treat them with a natural attitude and be good at guiding, rather than suppressing and distorting them, will be the seeds of the spirit, and in the future sorrow will surely blossom into the flowers of art, and the confusion will bear the fruit of wisdom, I am convinced of this.
Li Yinhe: 1. Due to the innate conditions, you don't need to compete with other children, you must try your best to win at the starting line. Because your life is not more than ten years, but decades, losing at the starting line does not necessarily mean that you will fail in your life, and winning at the starting line does not necessarily mean that you will succeed in your life. You belong to the child who loses at the starting line, but I have confidence in you, your life does not necessarily have to be a failure, a lifelong failure.
2. There are four types of realms in life: one is to be both successful and happy; One is both unsuccessful and unhappy; One is successful but unhappy; One is unsuccessful but happy. Of course I want you to be successful and happy in your life, but in case you don't succeed and nothing comes of it, I also want you to be happy. If your life is successful, then "life must be happy, don't make the gold bottle empty to the moon"; If your life is not successful, then "life is not satisfactory in the world, and the Ming Dynasty spreads flat boats".
Cai Chunzhu: I had a lot of expectations and wishes for you, and some of these expectations and wishes were high-sounding, such as you becoming a Nobel Prize winner for literature; For example, if you become the secretary of the provincial party committee; For example, becoming an archaeologist; For example, if you become the brother of a minister, you will be contracted to ...... the projectThese are actually floating clouds, nothing to do, your parents' greatest expectation and wish for you: you are a happy person. This wish is big and small, but I hope you can help your parents to fulfill it, and we will do our best to help, but it is mainly up to you.
Baby Anne: 1. I don't think I'm a mother-in-care in the worldly sense. Since she was born, I have rarely talked about her, I have never joined the so-called mothers' organizations and gatherings, and I have not been entangled with her all day. In addition to caring for her necessary food, clothing, shelter and transportation, our relationship has a sense of independence and mutual respect. In other words, I pay attention to maintaining a slight sense of distance from her. This sense of distance is the feeling of giving the other person a good value, but not intruding and controlling the other person's emotions and will.
2. Even if a woman is a mother, the most important core is still the need to have her own life. The mother is not only doing the chores of daily life for her daughter, but also cannot remove her own power and only revolve around the child. Our lives are independent of each other. She's going to grow, I'm going to grow, that's how it should be.
3. I never expect too much from her, nor do I try to instill anything in her. Sometimes I hear some mothers proudly proclaim how many ancient poems their children will memorize, such as "Three Character Classic", "* Rules", and even "Laozi" and "Zhuangzi". I never try to get her to learn anything. I just want her to play freely and joyfully, to be curious about the world, to explore and move forward in her own way, and that's it.
4. What is there to worry about? The child always has to grow up slowly according to her own inner rhythm. For them, nothing is more important than protecting their nature and maintaining joy and vitality. The only thing I want now is for her to feel happy all the time, to grow according to her imagination and nature. Her happiness and self-esteem are important. As for the rest, one day she will know.
Classical: 1. So, bend the bend, the important thing is not to live carefully, no one will hurt, no one will offend, let everyone like you, this is impossible. The key is to create your own life - let yourself live a meaningful life, live a unique life, live a life worthy of the cows, sheep, sheep, pigs and pigs who lost their lives because of you, and be worthy of the vitality that people inject into you, a good life is not perfect, nor is it safe, but worthwhile.
2. Dear bend, this world is not fair. Efforts can change fate to a certain extent, but they may not be completely overturned. So, remember, it doesn't make sense to compare with others. Although it was everyone's first reaction, it was a kind of self-torture that would never be peaceful and had no chance of winning. If you are capable, remember to compare yourself and make yourself better. Understand how big your heart is. Adding to life brings happiness, subtraction brings peace of mind, and addition and subtraction make you comfortable. Although the world does not provide everyone with a perfect life, it gives everyone enough resources to get what they deserve.
3. If you can live better, then help those who are worse than you - especially those who live hard enough and work hard, you and them have the most power to change the world. Have faith in the world, it's getting better. How did you find this opportunity? Take good watch of the people around you, including yourself. Behind your troubles is your destiny.
4. Dear Wanwan, welcome to this world.
Remember to live a wonderful life, live a serious life, and compare yourself with yourself.
May you live a life that I have never seen and understood.
Preface Preamble
If in the past, when we read books on parenting, we were taking a lesson, we hope that at this moment, the feeling of getting this book in your hand is more like a knee-to-knee chat. There are thinkers, educators, philosophers, sociologists, writers, people, painters, radio hosts, ordinary housewives and coffee shop owners. Everyone sat down together and shared their love and expectations for their children, as well as some heartfelt words about parenting.
Many people, at the beginning of becoming parents, will be shocked to find that they do not know how to teach their children better than their parents back then; You will also find that you are still unconsciously continuing your own experience to teach your children, and the practices that you hated back then are still being imposed on the next generation. For example, yelling at children for lack of patience; For example, expect him to take the first place in the exam; For example, send him to various interest classes, for fear of falling behind others; Another example is to give children the ...... of values that are behind the timesWe have worked so hard for a lot of hard work, but we still often feel at a loss, like being caught in a torrent, and we can't stop.
I hope that the book "May You Grow Up Slowly" can make you "slow down" and calm down.
Appreciating (feeling) the other meaning of growth itself.
We feel that raising children is very tiring, in fact, because we are too anxious.
Believe that it is more important for you to relax than to find the "right way".
In a nutshell, "May You Grow Up" is about what good "growth" looks like.
When you learn to let your child grow up slowly, you will be relaxed and your child will be happy. A person who grows up in happiness will know how to be friendly and aggressive. He can think independently, have a broad vision, love life and sports, can still take the initiative to learn, make friends on his own, and more importantly, he can get along well with his parents.
Just as children have to face the challenges of life bravely, parents also need to face the renewal of concepts and more challenges, I hope this book can let us embark on a gentle parenting journey together, so that educating children becomes a beautiful and comfortable thing.