One day before the Chinese New Year, I received a ** from my daughter, she told me that her boyfriend's family invited her to go to the New Year, and they were young people who were anxious and wanted to get married. This news surprised me because I only found out a few days ago that my daughter's boyfriend turned out to be the child of a colleague from my former company. I remember himFatherHe didn't talk much, but he was a hardworking man, and although we didn't communicate much during the days we worked together, I knew that he was very motivated, and then I changed jobs, and we rarely kept in touch.
My daughter told me that my son-in-law invited our family to celebrate the Chinese New Year, and my husband and I decided to say yes. So on the day of my daughter's departure, I gave her a task to observe the situation of the man's family, especiallyChinese New Year's Eve dinnermade with a family atmosphere, and then came back to me for a detailed report. We prepared a gift and bought one for our future mother-in-lawCardigan, bought a pair of wine for the future father-in-law, and prepared a red envelope for the future sister's child.
My daughter's boyfriend came to pick her up early in the morning, and our family accompanied our daughter to the man's house. My daughter said it was not far from our house, about two hours by car. When I first arrived at the man's house, my daughter told me what she had seen and heard there.
The daughter described in detail how she entered the door, mentioning that the man's parents did not go downstairs to pick them up, but went upstairs and opened the door. Then, she mentioned the situation of the man's sister and her sister, who was watching TV and playing with the child. The daughter also mentioned the greeting of the man's parents, who washed fruit and poured tea for their daughter, and expressed their concern for her work and me. The daughter also described in detailChinese New Year's Eve dinnersituation, including the number of dishesChinese New Year's Eve dinnerThe scene of the table, etc.
However, the situation described by the daughter also revealed some problems. She mentions the manFatherBarely communicated with her, just simply greeted and invited her in. The daughter also mentioned the manFatherInChinese New Year's Eve dinnerIn the process, he disliked the man's mother's slow movements, and yelled at her. In addition, the daughter also mentioned that the man's sister did not do much in terms of helping with the cooking.
When my daughter returned, I had a conversation with her and expressed to her the reasons why I did not agree with her and the man's continued development.
I told my daughter that family affairs should be the responsibility of the whole family, and I was worried about the attitude and behavior of the man's family towards the future mother-in-law. In the daughter's boyfriend's family, the woman has neither help nor the man from other family membersFathercare and respect, which indicates that they are likely to have the same attitude towards their future daughter-in-law. In my opinion, a family that lacks family harmony and happiness is not suitable for my daughter to enter. In addition, I also pointed out that the woman's sister did not help her own mother, which also reflected their family's situationTutoringIssue.
However, my daughter actually didn't agree with me. She believes that the problems of the man's family are only temporary, and that she loves her boyfriend and is willing to face difficulties and challenges with him. She said she believes that they can build a happy family through communication and hard work.
Even though I understand my daughter's thoughts and feelings, I still stand by my opinion. I believe that family is the most important foundation in a person's life, and the harmony and happiness of a family are closely related to the attitudes and values of each member. If such problems and discordant family atmosphere arise in the beginning, I fear that there may be more problems in the future.
Therefore, I decided to stand by my position and disagree with the daughter and the man to continue to develop. I will communicate well with my daughter to explain my concerns and concerns, and hope that she can understand my perspective and concerns. At the same time, I will also respect my daughter's decisions and choices, after all, she is an adult and has the right to make her own decisions. I will continue to support her and help her find a family and partner that is more suitable for her.