Some time ago, I was chasing the hit drama "In the Name of the People", in which Gao Yuliang, secretary of the provincial party committee, has been completely exposed, and he is full of guilt and sadness in the face of his wife Wu Huifang. Teacher Wu asked him, "How should I talk to Fangfang (Gao Yuliang's daughter)?"Gao Yuliang looked at his ex-wife and said six words, that is: "Say it slowly, pick it up." ”
At that time, after listening to Secretary Gao's words, I felt that although he made mistakes, he was really admirable in speaking, worthy of a professor in a law school, those six words were too incisive, and they were the attitude that should be had when speaking.
Say it slowly", which many parents can't do. Shakespeare said, "Your tongue is like a fast horse, which runs so fast that it runs out of strength." "When a child makes a mistake or encounters some difficulties, parents are anxious and often speak as if they were shooting a machine gun. When you finished speaking, you asked the child, "Do you hear me?"The child stares at you with wide eyes, an innocent expression, nods and shakes his head. It's not that the child doesn't want to understand, it's that the way you say it makes him unacceptable at all. And you?I still feel angry. There are always parents who complain that their children are difficult to educate, in fact, you have to know how to "speak slowly".
Why can't many adults "speak slowly"?It's all down to not being able to control my emotions, and before I have said anything, my emotions have come up. Therefore, the words spoken are not heartfelt words, but only the "stand-in" of emotions, and when these emotions are released, all that remains is regret. In the past two years, in "Love Defense", every time the emotional mentor Tu Lei holds the microphone, he accuses the parties of how much they have gone too far. The parties who came to these emotional columns must have some confusion in their hearts, but the way Mr. Tu Lei spoke at that time really made me unacceptable. Later, Mr. Tu Lei was invited to participate in other columns and began to change his style, when he became holding his daughter, looking like a gentle family man, speaking in slow, gentle words like a spring breeze, he gained more fans, and I also think such a man is more charming.
"It's also a speaking skill that you should know." Many parents say everything in front of their children, for example, who is incompetent and who is difficult to get along with other members of the family. My friend's child did not do well in an exam, and his father talked to him to find out what was going on. But the child had an unreasonable attitude, saying, "You can't manage yourself, and you still want to manage others." When a sentence came out, my friend was stunned, because this sentence was what she often complained about her husband, but she didn't expect to be taken by the child to block her father's mouth. Originally, my friend thought that she couldn't handle it and wanted her husband to give it a play, but she didn't expect that the tall father image in her son's heart had already been destroyed by her usual complaints.
The same is true for men and women in love, in order to win each other's hearts, they will naturally use their hearts and minds in the process of getting along. In "Bomb Disposal Expert", Zhang Zaishan played by Andy Lau and Carmen played by Song Jia are a pair of lovers. Carmen was retaliated against by Zhang Jaeshan's "enemy", holding a grenade in her hand, and at that life-and-death moment, she asked her boyfriend: "Is there anything you want to say to me?"Zhang Zaishan looked at her and asked with a doting face, "What do you want to hear?"Zhang Zaishan in the play is very smart and can get the point that makes his girlfriend happy. A man's love for a woman is never about how many sweet words you say, but when you say what she likes to hear, and what the other person likes to hear, of course, it does not include easy promises.
He who does not speak, the words he utters are like knives cut through the body of those who listen to him. People who can speak speak like a gentle breeze and drizzle, making people feel physically and mentally happy. "Words are the most effective remedy used by man," Kipling said. "But this prescription may be bitter or sweet because of the way you speak, if you were to choose, would you choose bitter or sweet?