True empathy is shifting into an uncomfortable position

Mondo Education Updated on 2024-01-28

Empathy is a phrase that people often talk about, but what is a real sincere empathy?A female doctor made a gastroscopy for herself and recorded the process in order to reduce the patient's pain in the future, so that people could see the correct posture of the transposition.

On July 16, in Tai'an, Shandong, a female doctor experienced gastroscopy for herself, and her colleague happened to record the whole process. After the circle of friends**, Dr. Li Xiaopei became an "Internet celebrity". She said: "By experiencing discomfort, we can better know how to get the patient to cooperate, reduce the patient's pain, and what kind of discomfort is when you do it, so that you will be mentally prepared when you do this part in the future." Her sensations were when she entered the pharynx, the pylorus into the duodenum, and when the stomach was inflated. She said that when she did it again for patients in the future, she would know what to expect. ”

What is touching is that the empathy of this female doctor is not just talking, not just tasting in the way of psychological imagination, but changing to the patient's position to empathize, and trying her best to make the patient less afraid of gastroscopy and less uncomfortable when doing gastroscopy. In fact, doctors can do without doing this, just treat patients according to professional standards, and it is not the doctor's obligation to make patients comfortable.

Many people may have this experience when they go to the doctor: give you a check-up, you just lie down and get checked, don't move, who cares if you are comfortable?You have to go home comfortably and lie down, what are you doing in the hospital? It's very difficult to scream in pain when you give birth and not be reprimanded;It is also difficult to distort and reject the reaction when doing a gastroscopy without being despised by the doctor. The stiff face, the professional indifference, treating you like a machine to be examined rather than a person, make the already physically unwell more psychologically uncomfortable. At this time, the doctor's smile, empathetic understanding, and comfort are sometimes more soothing and effective than **.

Yes, it is not the doctor's duty to make the patient feel a little more comfortable during the examination - it is the heartwarming thing to do something in addition to the "obligation". In this era, people love to put rights and obligations on the lips, maintain a kind of professional indifference within the obligation, and be ruthless outside the obligation - often say "that is not my obligation" and "doing is love, not doing is duty". In fact, many obligations between people are not so clear, and there is a lot of room for ambiguity that needs to be made up for by people's enthusiasm, kindness, due diligence and altruism. Many conflicts are not conflicts between rights and obligations, but conflicts outside of obligations. People who are in an advantageous position do something other than business, and there will be a lot of warmth and friendship between people.

Compare your heart to your heart and empathize, maybe everyone has said such things. But most of the time, when people talk about empathy, they talk about "letting others change their disadvantageous position". This is actually a kind of selfish rhetoric, for example, when talking about the conflict between the bear child and the bear parent, some people have talked about the kind of self-centered transposition: there is a type of person, when there are no children, they are annoying to other people's children, and when they have children, their babies are the cutestest, and everyone has to tolerate him. No matter when, where, or under what circumstances they find themselves, they will always have only one principle: the world should revolve around me. Is this called transposition?No, it's called selfishness. The real transposition is: when you don't have children, you can understand the hardships of others with children, help as much as you can, and tolerate the occasional uncontrollable noise of children. When you have children, you can respect people who don't have children, and don't bother others easily.

The real transposition is to seek oneself from oneself, take the initiative to change to an uncomfortable and unfavorable position for oneself, take the initiative to take on some things other than obligations in reflection, and tolerate others, rather than pushing obligations to others. Sincere transposition is the ability to lean over to the position of the weak to think when you are in a superior position, and to maintain a sense of compassion, kindness, and humility.

Most of the conflicts in this world lie in the fact that most people just let others change their position when they are weak, let others understand themselves, and their faces are full of resentment of "how difficult it is for me, you still don't understand me", and few people who are in a strong position take the initiative to change to a weak position to understand the difficulties of others.

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