I'm a counselor, and my job every day is to listen, and their stories make up my daily routine, from anxious teenage girls to worried middle-aged people. But in all the counseling, he, the autistic boy Li Ming, brought an unusual turn to my life.
When Li Ming first walked into my clinic, I noticed his special temperament. His eyes are clear and deep, as if they are hiding endless secrets. He didn't say much, but he carefully considered every sentence. I could feel the distance between him and the world, and it was an indescribable loneliness.
In our conversation, he talks about his vision of the world – how to feel isolated in a complex society. I began to understand that his silence was not a reluctance to communicate, but a form of self-preservation. In his world, everything is so different, yet so pure.
I don't know where this unexpected encounter will lead us, but I'm sure it's going to be an unusual story.
With each consultation, I gradually stepped into his world. He has an unusual sensitivity to numbers, and can quickly find patterns in complex patterns, but he is clumsy and helpless in expressing emotions.
Once, when I asked him about the definition of happiness, he was silent for a long time, then said in an almost whispered voice: "Happiness is like, a perfect sequence of numbers." "At that moment, I felt his unique inner world.
I found myself looking forward to every meeting with him. His presence was like a puzzle that drew me to explore. I began to notice some of his small details: the way he frowned slightly when he focused, the rare smile he smiled when he spoke to me, and his Xi of gently rubbing his fingers when he was nervous.
However, I realized that this emotion transcended professional boundaries. I am his counselor and should be kept at a professional distance. I tried to suppress this feeling, but whenever I saw him, the warmth and concern in my heart could not be suppressed.
Our relationship took a turn on a rainy day. That day, Li Ming was waiting for me in the rain, soaking wet. He simply said, "I just want to see you." "At that moment, I saw the sincerity and fragility in his eyes, and my heart was deeply touched.
After that, we started to meet outside of work, go for walks together, and have coffee together. I tried my best to make him feel the warmth of the world, and in his own way, he taught me how to listen to silence.
But the relationship is not without its obstacles. My friends and colleagues were skeptical of our relationship and thought I was using my career to my advantage. They couldn't understand my emotions with an autistic boy. At the same time, Li Ming's difficulty in expressing emotions also made our relationship full of challenges.
At one point, I tried to talk to him about our relationship, but his response was silence. I saw a flash of panic in his eyes, and at that moment, I realized how difficult it was for him to communicate such straightforward emotions.
Just when I was beginning to question the relationship, an unexpected event happened and plunged our relationship into an unprecedented crisis ......
That unexpected event was Li Ming's collapse in a public place. We were in a bustling café and the hustle and bustle and crowds around him was a huge stress for him. I didn't realize it until I saw him suddenly tense up, his eyes blank and his fingers twisting nervously.
He began to get restless, and his voice became trembling: "It's too noisy here, me. I don't understand the sounds. I tried to comfort him, but the curious stares around me made it worse. Li Ming's emotions were out of control, and he suddenly stood up and shouted loudly, trying to escape from the environment that was suffocating him.
At that moment, I felt powerless than I had ever felt before. I tried to grab his hand, but he broke free and ran out of the café. I followed, my heart full of worry and self-blame.
When I found him in the rain, he was crouching in a corner, his body shaking, his eyes full of panic. I walked over softly and sat down beside him, without speaking, just quietly with him. The rain mixed with tears and slid down his cheeks.
At that moment, I deeply felt the challenges he faced, and the loneliness and fear he felt in this world. I realized that my feelings for him were much more than sympathy and help, but a deep connection, a determination to face the world with him.
But at the same time, I also saw clearly the chasm between us—between an ordinary world and his own unique world. I'm beginning to wonder if we can really cross this chasm and move into the future together.
That café incident became a turning point in our relationship. In the days that followed, we were more careful with each other. I began to learn how Xi better understand Li Ming's world, and he was trying to show me how he felt.
One day, Li Ming gave me a painting that he had drawn with his own hands, showing a quiet ocean and a small boat. He whispered, "In my world, you are like the ship that takes me to the wider ocean." "At that moment, I felt happiness like never before.
Our story has no flowery language, no intense plot, but is full of truth and affection. We have learned to find perfection in imperfections, and we have learned to find our own balance in each other's worlds.