Zhang Lei works in a foreign-funded company, with a salary of 8,000 yuan per month, plus some so-called "performance bonuses", he can basically get 15,000 yuan. As for me, I do business in a sales company, with a stable salary of 5,000 yuan, plus commissions, I can have an income of about 8,000 yuan. We haven't bought a house either, we're still renting a house, and our kids have just started high school.
Yesterday, I accidentally saw Zhang Lei's bank flow and found that he transferred 200,000 yuan to his brother a few days ago!I was shocked and immediately asked him, "You transferred 200,000 yuan to your brother a few days ago?"What does this mean?”
Zhang Lei frowned and said, "Oh, that, my brother has not been in good health recently and needs **, so I donated some money to him." What's so strange about that?”
I immediately became angry: "You took out 200,000 yuan yourself and gave it to your brother without telling me?".Our family only has a few dollars, do you know?”
Zhang Lei said impatiently: "This is the money I earn myself, I can give it to whoever I want, what does it have to do with you?"My brother is seriously ill, can I ignore it?”
I said, "It's understandable that your brother is sick, but you can't just spend that much money, can you?"Our family also spends a lot, and you don't want to know where the money comes from”
Zhang Lei said irritably: "It's our family's business that I give my brother money, don't interfere." I earn money to support my family, and I don't just give you flowers, my brother is my relative, can you stop me from treating him?”
I didn't expect Zhang Lei to be so unreasonable, which made him plummet in my mind. We argued about this for a long time, and finally broke up. It became a rift in our marriage.
Later, I began to reflect on whether I was overly calculating. Should Zhang Lei repay me every penny he earns?He should also have the freedom to dispose of his own property, right?Although as a husband and wife, you should discuss large expenses, but is your distrust of him too deep?I was conflicted and decided to take a closer look, maybe it was just a misunderstanding.
A few days ago, I mentioned to Zhang Lei that I wanted to take care of my son's college fees and living expenses. The annual tuition fee of secondary schools is also about 20,000 yuan, and with the cost of living, it is more than 30,000 yuan a year. I told Zhang Lei, you can pay half, that is, 15,000 per year, and I can also pay this amount.
Zhang Lei disagreed: "I don't agree with the way you said about sharing." Going to college is a child's own business, and you can't always rely on your parents. As parents, we only need to feed and shelter him, and he will figure out the rest by himself. ”
I was very angry when I heard this, and immediately replied: "He is still a minor, how can he figure it out by himself when he goes to college?"What are you talking about?As a father, shouldn't you be financially responsible?”
Zhang Lei sneered: "Bear economic responsibility?."I work every day to support my family, which is my biggest responsibility. Going to college is for himself, I just need to provide food and housing, and he will solve the rest by himself. ”
I saw that Zhang Lei was so ruthless, and asked directly: "What kind of attitude do you have as a father?."Could it be that after 18 years of training, you just let our son go to school by himself?”
Zhang Lei said impatiently: "I'm already very busy with work, and I don't have time to care about him so much." It's decided, if you have to pay, then you can solve it yourself, don't pull me. ”
After listening to Zhang Lei's words, I trembled with anger and asked him directly: "Zhang Lei, what do you think of our family?"You are so ruthless when your own son goes to college, is there still any meaning in our marriage?”
Zhang Lei exhaled heavily and said, "I really can't reason with you." Marriage is marriage, and sons are another matter. If you want to divorce and pull down, don't involve your son. ”
Well, in that case, let's get a divorce!"I couldn't bear it anymore and decided to divorce this irresponsible man.
Divorce is a difficult decision for me, after all, I still love Zhang Lei. It's just that after this incident, I saw that he was selfish. On the cold-blooded side, I really couldn't take it anymore. As much as ending this marriage cut my heart, it seemed like the only way out.
I filed for divorce, and Zhang Lei was stunned.
He stammered, "You you really want a divorce?".Just because of this little thing?”
I said coldly, "Little things?".Our children's college tuition, you don't care about it like this, and say it's a trivial matter?I think the foundation of our relationship is no longer there, and divorce is a matter of time. ”
Zhang Lei's face turned pale and said: "Xiaofang, I know it's wrong, I didn't think it through before, I only thought about my hard work, and neglected my responsibilities as a father." Child's college tuition, I'll pay out, don't be angry, okay?”
I sneered: "It's a long time coming, and if you say it's changing, you can change it."I think you're just afraid that I'm going to get divorced and divide the property. As for you, do you really care about your child's feelings?”
Zhang Lei hurriedly said: "No, I really know that I was wrong." I used to work under too much pressure, and I owe the company of my family. In fact, I have always cared about my son, but it is easy to cross the line. Is it okay to give me a chance to make amends?”
Seeing his pitiful appearance, I was also very hesitant, after all, this marriage has gone through 10 years, and I am indeed still nostalgic.
So I said, "Then think about it first, what problems does this incident reflect in our marriage?"If you don't fundamentally change, the problem will still exist just by whispering it for a while. ”
Zhang Lei pondered for a while and said, "You're right. In fact, my biggest problem this time is that I don't see my family as the most important part of my life. I was so focused on my career that I neglected my family's feelings. Also, there is not enough communication, I should not make my own decision, but should consult with you. ”
Zhang Lei said anxiously: "Don't, if you move out, we will be more divided." It's better to be in this home, I learn to express every day, and we can slowly adjust the relationship. ”
I thought about it and said, "Okay, but let's separate the bedrooms for the time being, give each other a little time and space." It is a time for you to reflect on how you can become a competent husband and father.
Zhang Lei nodded and said to me solemnly: "Give me time to prove myself, and I will definitely try to let you see my changes." Trust me and give us a chance to start over. ”
I didn't speak, just nodded silently. I started tidying up my room and getting ready to move in on my own, which might be good for both of us and help us think about the future.