"I hate you!"It's so unfair!"Every parent goes through a storm of emotions in their child. Sexual reactions such as tantrums, yelling, hitting, provocation, etc., can make us nervous.
However, these moments, as frustrating as they are, provide an opportunity to develop emotional intelligence. Children must learn to manage feelings constructively, not suppress them.
With empathy, patience, and guidance, we can help children deal with anger, sadness, jealousy, and other difficult emotions in a healthy way.
Our culture often portrays negative emotions as "bad" and unreasonable. But it is normal for children to feel angry, jealous, sad, frustrated, and so on when real needs are not being met.
Anger – may indicate a sense of justice being violated, unfairness, hurt, or feeling out of control. Behind the anger is the desire to be respected.
Grief – can arise after loss and disappointment;reflects the latent need for comfort and connection.
Jealousy – indicates a desire to be noticed, included, or a fear of being isolated when a new person enters life.
Frustration – the result of blocked progress;It embodies the human desire for mastery and ability.
These feelings have a purpose – to convey a deeper longing, a call to be heard. Suppressing emotions can stunt growth.
Empathic processing can help children learn Xi from their feelings and develop self-awareness and resilience.
Start emotional training by simply helping your child mark their feelings. Affective vocabulary gives children the ability to know themselves and not act blindly. Add emotional vocabulary to your family:
You look disappointed. Do you want to continue playing in the community?”
Your bricks fall and you're angry. Sometimes I get angry too. ”
I think you seem to be jealous of your little brother. You wish I hadn't held him that long. ”
Words are used to express tears, sulking, outbursts, and emotions lose their power once they are named.
After the child can label the feelings, validate them to build self-awareness:
You have a right to be angry when you think something is unfair. ”
I may have less time to spend with you, and it's understandable that you're jealous of me. ”
You are rightly afraid that we will snub you after we have a little sister. ”
Affirmation helps the child recognize emotions as signals of an unmet need, rather than justifying inappropriate behavior. Make sure to set behavioral limits after empathy.
Tantrums require immediate restraint, but punishment alone does not build skills. Provide acceptable exports:
Frustrated?It is recommended to take a deep breath and squeeze the stress bulb. Apologize for hurting words.
Angry?Hit pillows, do jumping jacks, doodle on paper. Talk about calming strategies that work for you.
Sadness?Hug each other and look at photo albums together. Share the comfort you received from your family when you cried.
Jealous?Give personalized attention to activities they enjoy. Reminisce about how jealous I felt when I was a child.
When children see you get out of your emotional slump and back into the sun, they get hope.
In addition to basic vocabulary such as madness, sadness, and fear, it can also help children develop subtle emotional vocabulary:
Frustrated, worried, grumpy, lonely, dissatisfied, brave, confused, and so on.
When the little ones are able to say emotions accurately, they gain self-awareness. Complex feelings become less overwhelming.
Once the child has calmed down, let them address the issues that are causing the upset:
What do you think can be done to make you less jealous of newborns?
What can we do together to make you less lonely?
How can we prevent it from leading to the next outrage?
Is there a better option when you want to throw a toy in frustration?
Brainstorm solutions and choose one to try. Evaluate the results and teach the child to adapt.
Parenting with empathy helps normalize challenging emotions, which are part of human emotion.
Children gain self-awareness, resilience and hope. While shaping their emotional form, we also shape our own life form.
Your compassion now will give them the strength of the journey ahead!
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