My husband and I have been married for 18 years, and we have been living happily ever after. My husband is very good to me, except for the fact that sometimes he will suppress me, we have a very good relationship. After marriage, we implemented a system, and all the expenses of the family were divided equally. I have also been taking care of my husband's daily life.
A few days ago, my mother-in-law called ** and said that she was not feeling well and wanted to come to our house for the elderly. I hesitated at first, because I knew that my mother-in-law was not very good-tempered. But thinking that she was sick and that I was her daughter-in-law, I finally agreed after discussing it with my husband.
When my mother-in-law came to our house, I greeted me warmly and said with a smile: "Mother-in-law, you have worked hard, just tell me if you need anything, you are like my own mother, just call me!"Although the mother-in-law had no expression on her face, she still nodded and said, "Okay, with your son and daughter-in-law here, I am relieved." ”
A few days after my mother-in-law came, I found out that she was a very traditional and difficult mother-in-law. She was very attentive to my requirements, from waking me up in the morning to prepare breakfast for her immediately, to asking me to rub her back and legs before going to bed at night. I'm so busy every day that I can't take care of my own business.
One night I was so tired that I said to my husband, "It's not easy for me to serve my mother-in-law all day long, and I can't take care of housework and my own affairs." My mother-in-law is too unreasonable, and she always treats me as a free laborer!”
The husband said, "I understand that it is not easy for you, but my mother is old, so let her go." You should cultivate the good fortune of the next life. ”
I was very unhappy when I heard it: "Just because people are old, they can live with me?"My own time is precious, too!Besides, aren't we making it, why am I the only one who is paying?”
My husband smiled and said, "I can't say that, it's my daughter-in-law's responsibility to take care of the elderly, haven't I been working to support my family?"”
I'm in a hurry:"You're a fallacy!The system is equality, and my labor should be reasonably compensated!According to this reasoning, why didn't the old man directly find a nanny, and had to ask his daughter-in-law to serve for free?"
My husband was a little unhappy when he heard it: "You can't compare it like this, my mother is your mother-in-law, how can she be compared with outsiders?"What are you talking about?”
When I saw my husband say this, I was also angry:"Mother-in-law, mother-in-law, she always treats me as a free laborer, and I can't speak up yetYou have the same heart as her, with your mother and son as backers, I'm almost tired!"
My husband coaxed me:"Well, I understand that it is not easy for you, but be more tolerant of the elderly. I'll try my best to help you share the burden these days, so don't be too embarrassed for you. "
Although I was a little unwilling, I couldn't lose my temper again, so I could only respond sullenly:"Okay then, I'll try to. "
In the days that followed, I continued to take care of my mother-in-law's daily life, but my inner resistance grew. My mother-in-law's endless demands and nagging to me annoyed me, and my husband didn't help much, and I felt more and more wronged.
One night, my mother-in-law called me to massage her legs in the loudest voice, and I couldn't bear it anymore and said to her, "Mother-in-law, you can't always order me like that, I also need to rest." Why don't we implement a fee system, I will serve you well, and you will give me a certain remuneration, which is fair. ”
The mother-in-law was even more unhappy when she heard this, and said exaggeratedly: "I really raised your mother and son for nothing!."I'm an old bone, and I'm still here to ask for payment?You are this unfilial attitude?”
I explained, "Mother-in-law, it's not that I'm not unfilial, I just think it should be fairer. I also need time for housework and rest, can't you do something on your own too?This is just a reasonable way to compensate for labor, and it is not unfilial. ”
The mother-in-law snorted and said, "You took me in to support you when I was old, why do you want me to serve you in turn?"I'm your mother-in-law, and I even have to negotiate the remuneration for the elderly, your heart is too dark!”
I couldn't argue with my mother-in-law, so I had to talk to my husband again. I said to my husband: "I'm really tired if I go on like this, my mother-in-law is always unreasonable, and you don't help me, I really can't take care of my mother-in-law anymore, she must give me reasonable compensation, or we live separately." ”
My husband panicked and hurriedly comforted me: "Honey, you dissipate your anger, don't talk about living separately." Mom is old, so you should be more tolerant of her. She's not in good health, so she can't leave it alone. ”
I said firmly, "No!."It is only natural that my labor should be reciprocated. My mother-in-law has to take advantage of me and exploit me, so I won't do it!Either pay me or she leaves, you mother and son can choose one. ”
My husband is really anxious now, and he didn't expect me to use such drastic methods. When he saw that I was very resolute, he could only go to my mother-in-law to plead.
The mother-in-law still has an unreasonable posture, saying that I am not filial and cannot meet her requirements, and she can move out to live with others. I listened to my mother-in-law's words on the sidelines, thinking that your mother and son are really the same dog, and you want to save face.
My husband knows that he is at a loss, and he can only be hard when he sees the soft one. He said to his mother-in-law, "Then Mom, go and live with your brother, my wife and I can't get by." Don't worry about us, old man. ”
The mother-in-law didn't expect her husband to say this, so she immediately turned red and cried: "I'm an old bone, your son and daughter-in-law are good, and you will kick me out as soon as you do it!."I worked hard to bring you up, and now that I'm old, you don't want me anymore!”
The husband was also very embarrassed and said, "Mom, it's very difficult for me to do it, my wife has to live separately, and I can't persuade her." Otherwise, you won't order your wife anymore, everyone will live in harmony and beauty, okay?”
The mother-in-law cried, "Did I order her?"I just call her a few words once in a while, and she thinks I'm in trouble!Son, are you going to drive me away because of this?”
I interjected next to me and said, "Mother-in-law, you have ordered me a lot of things, and it is unfair to me to do this and that, and I can't take care of my own business." I didn't say I didn't serve you at all, I just wanted to make amends, what's wrong?”
My mother-in-law gave me a blank look and said, "I didn't expect that I would be kind enough to come here to retire, but I was kicked out by an unfilial daughter-in-law!."Son, who do you say you're on?”
My husband was in a dilemma and said, "Mom, of course I'm on your side." But my wife's idea also makes sense, so don't let her work too hard, and everyone should live in harmony and beauty. ”
The mother-in-law said angrily: "You unfilial son!."If your wife is not filial, you should also follow the unfilial piety, right?Mother-in-law can't say a few words, but it's your mother, can you do this?”
I was also very aggrieved and said to my husband: "Forget it, if you don't support me, I don't have to suffer in vain." If my mother-in-law doesn't compensate me, I'll be mine, and you can take care of your mother-in-law yourself!”
The husband said anxiously: "Wife, calm down, let's discuss it." 3,000 a month's compensation, do you think it's okay?”
I shook my head and said, "It's a little less, five thousand a month, and I have the motivation to serve my mother-in-law well." ”
The mother-in-law listened to her son and daughter-in-law bargaining, and she was so angry that she ran back to the room crying, and complained to my mother while calling **.
My mom received a ** from my mother-in-law and anxiously asked her what was going on. My mother-in-law told my mother what happened, saying that I was not filial, and forced my husband to subsidize my expenses. My mom was also very angry, saying that she would call me now and tell me not to mess around.
It didn't take long for my mother's ** to call. I picked up the **, and my mother was already yelling and saying, "Why are you so unreasonable kid?"How unfilial it is to ask your in-laws for money!”
I explained, "Mom, I was also forced, my mother-in-law ordered me to do this and that, I was exhausted, what's wrong with making amends?".”
Mom said solemnly, "This is rightfully deserved!".You married someone to help take care of your in-laws, how can you care so much about them?Hurry up and apologize to your mother-in-law, saying that you can't think of nonsense for a while!”
When I heard my mother say this, I felt a little sad in my heart. Maybe I shouldn't have had such a drastic showdown with my husband and mother-in-law, I'm a bit too much. So I told my mother that I would apologize to my mother-in-law, and asked her to tell her mother-in-law not to take it seriously.
I hung up on my mother's **, and my husband happened to come over to talk to me. He persuaded me softly: "Wife, don't be like my mother, we are a family after all." I will give you a little monthly living allowance as a subsidy, and you are also considerate and considerate of my mother, everyone makes concessions to each other and lives in peace, is it okay?”
I thought about it and felt that it was inappropriate, so I said to my husband, "Okay, I apologize to my mother-in-law." If you give me a living allowance of 10,000 yuan a month, I will continue to take care of my mother-in-law, but I don't want her to call me endlessly. You're going to have to help me share the burden often, okay?”
My husband happily said, "Okay!."I'm relieved to have you say this, don't worry, I'll help you more, and I'll tell my mother not to embarrass you. Let's live with Hemei!”
I nodded and went with my husband to talk to my mother-in-law. I took the initiative to apologize to my mother-in-law, saying that my ideas were too extreme just now and that I would continue to take good care of my mother-in-law. I just hope that my mother-in-law will not call me all day and give me a little personal space. Although the mother-in-law still looked dissatisfied, she finally nodded and said, "Since my son has said so, I won't count what happened just now." As long as you don't keep trying to shirk your responsibilities and serve me well, I have nothing to say!”
I am busy and promise to take care of my mother-in-law more hard in the future, and I will set a time with my mother-in-law every week to have a foot massage, in short, my mother-in-law will be satisfied. The mother-in-law reluctantly nodded.
In this way, the three of us have set a new mode of getting along, my mother-in-law will no longer call me all day long, and I will take the initiative to take care of her daily life. Although there were some twists and turns in the process, I finally reached a reasonable state, which also reduced my burden. I think that after this turmoil, we will become more understanding and considerate of each other, and the relationship between our families will be more harmonious.
After this misunderstanding, it dawned on me that family relationships should not be based on command and obedience, but on mutual respect and understanding.