Before I got married, Zhang Qiang promised me that he would let me live a happy life. Our wedding was simple but heartwarming, inviting our closest family and friends from both sides. After getting married, Zhang Qiang gave me a lot of freedom in life, he said: "Meimei, I hope you can give full play to your abilities and live the life you want." I will always support you. ”
After I got married, I continued to work and lived a very happy life. Every morning, Zhang Qiang would make breakfast for me before going to work. In the evening, if I work overtime and come home late, he will also wait for me to have dinner together. Sometimes when I am tired from work, Zhang Qiang will give me a massage, his skills are very good, and he can always help me relax. Every weekend we also go out on outings, watching movies, and going shopping.
After more than a year of marriage, Zhang Qiang's father wanted to settle in Qingdao from his hometown. Zhang Qiang said to me: "Dad's health is not very good, and the quality of life will be higher when he comes here, I want him to come and live with us." What do you say?I thought about it and felt that it was inconvenient for my father-in-law to live alone, so I said, "Okay, uncle is your relative, and I have no problem with coming to live with us." ”
After breakfast, Zhang Qiang went to work. I took a day off to accompany my father-in-law to go shopping and buy some daily necessities, and I also took him around the neighborhood to familiarize myself with the environment. In the evening, I cooked a few more hometown dishes, and my father-in-law ate them with relish and constantly praised my cooking skills.
He asked me to get up at 6 a.m. every morning and make him breakfast. I explained, "Uncle, I'm busy at work, and I often have to work late at night, so a lazy nap in the morning can keep me energized to work. The father-in-law insisted, "It's not healthy to live without a routine." Listen to me, wake up at 6 o'clock every day from tomorrow!”
No, it's no, I've got the final say!The father-in-law said without saying anything. At this time, Zhang Qiang also persuaded me: "Meimei, you can try to get up early first, maybe your health will be better." "Seeing that Zhang Qiang said the same, I can only do it for the time being.
After that, my father-in-law dictated my living arrangements, from dressing and cooking to meeting friends, and my life was completely controlled by him. For example, I usually like to dress simple and casual, but my father-in-law said that I was not dignified and stable enough, and asked me to wear formal clothes. He also asked me to cook according to his taste, and he said that the home-cooked food I made was not delicious.
I began to feel that my life was being controlled by my father-in-law, and I felt very uncomfortable. Once, I tried to talk to my father-in-law: "Uncle, I'm 28 years old, and I'm not a child, so I can arrange my own life." After you came, I think you're a little too managed, and I hope you can give me a little bit of freedom. ”
My father-in-law immediately said, "I'm doing this for your own good, and your parents also entrusted you to me." You can't listen to it now, and when you're old, you'll know I'm right. I saw his unyielding attitude and knew that it was useless to reason with him.
During this time, Zhang Qiang did not help me, but obeyed my father-in-law's requirements and arrangements for me. I'm several.
mentioned this matter to Zhang Qiang several times, and he said: "Dad is for your good, you just listen to him, this is also for the sake of family harmony." ”
After dinner, I couldn't help but say to Zhang Qiang: "You have also seen that your father is controlling me more and more, and my freedom in life is gone." This is not the married life I want. You should also help me talk to my uncle and tell him to stop caring about me so much. ”
Zhang Qiang said: "I understand your feelings, but you also have to be considerate of Dad, he is old and some of his concepts are more traditional. I'll find a way to talk to him, but it's going to take a process, so please be patient. ”
I said, "I've been very patient, since my uncle came, my quality of life has seriously deteriorated, and I am under a lot of mental stress. This is not an agreement between you and me when we were newly married, and I want you to be on my side and not just care about my uncle's feelings. ”
Zhang Qiang said: "Meimei, I understand what you said, and I also know that this time is not easy for you. But Dad is an elder after all, and we have to respect him. I promise to find a way to discuss with him, but until he changes his mind, I still hope that you will cooperate more to take care of his feelings. ”
I was disappointed with Zhang Qiang's response, he obviously saw my predicament, but he refused to help me negotiate with my father-in-law, and just asked me to be patient.
After that, my father-in-law's desire to control me seemed to become stronger and stronger, and I had a very miserable life every day. One day, my father-in-law suddenly announced that he would eat with me at every meal in the future. I explained to him that I had to go to work at noon and that I often had to work overtime at night. My father-in-law didn't listen and insisted that I have to come back on time for dinner.
I couldn't bear to say to my father-in-law, "Uncle, I have a lot of respect for you, but I also have my own work and life. Your demands have seriously affected my quality of life, and I simply can't do them all. ”
My father-in-law immediately scolded me angrily: "I am the elder of this family, you must listen to me!".Zhang Qiang, you also persuade your wife, why are you so ignorant?”
I saw that Zhang Qiang was still so evasive about the question, and said to him directly: "Zhang Qiang, you have always made me endure my uncle's excessive demands, but this has seriously affected my life. As you can see, my uncle doesn't respect me at all, and if you still have this attitude, I really can't stand it anymore. ”
Zhang Qiang hurriedly persuaded me, "Meimei, you calm down, let's discuss slowly." I'm going to talk to my dad. ”
I said, "Then go ahead, I'm really fed up, and if you can't talk, I can only choose to divorce." ”
With that, I went back to my bedroom. Zhang Qiang knocked on the door to persuade me, but I resolutely refused to open the door. Later, I heard the sound of Zhang Qiang and his father-in-law talking in the living room, but the volume was so low that I couldn't hear what they were saying.
An hour later, Zhang Qiang knocked on the door and said, "Meimei, I talked to my father, and he said that he would try to take care of your feelings, so don't be angry." ”
I opened the door and said to Zhang Qiang, "Will my uncle still control my life unreasonably in the future?"Will my work and private space be respected?”
Zhang Qiang said: "It takes a process, and Dad's concept will not change immediately. But he promised to take care of you less in the future, and you have to cooperate and adapt slowly. ”
At dinner, my father-in-law said to me in a commanding tone, "Don't go out with friends this weekend, just stay at home." ”
I couldn't help but say, "Uncle, please stop ordering me what to do and what not to do, this is my life, it's up to me to decide!".”
I interrupted him and said, "A piece of kindness?".You just want to control everything about me!I've been patient for a long time, and I have to make it clear to you today that I have been deprived of my freedom in life, and I am in great pain!”
At this time, Zhang Qiang hurriedly grabbed his father-in-law and said, "Dad, calm down, let's talk slowly." Then he said to me, "Meimei, don't get excited, you have something to say." ”
I saw that Zhang Qiang was still so ambiguous, and said to him directly: "Zhang Qiang, you have always made me patient, but things."
But it turns out that my father-in-law doesn't respect me at all, and your persuasion is useless. This kind of married life has made me extremely miserable, if you still protect your father-in-law like this, then I can only choose divorce!”
Zhang Qiang said anxiously: "Meimei, you calm down, we can discuss slowly, don't rush to divorce." I'll talk to my dad in more depth. ”
I said, "Don't talk about it anymore, I've always supported you since we got married, but you haven't been on my side at all on the issue of my father-in-law's unreasonable control of me." I'm really tired and I can't live in this environment anymore!”
After that, I went straight back to my room to pack my bags and prepare to leave this home.
Zhang Qiang followed, stopped me and said, "Meimei, don't be in a hurry to leave, let's calm down and have a good talk." ”
I said, "We've talked about it many times, but what is the result?".You didn't respect my feelings and lifestyle at all, and only wanted me to fulfill your and your dad's requests. I'm really fed up with this life!”
Zhang Qiang said: "Meimei, I know that I have not fulfilled my responsibilities as a husband during this time, and I have not given you the support and care that you deserve. I also reflected on my own problems and now finally realized that there were indeed serious problems in our married life. As your husband, I should think about your feelings first, not simply ask you to obey your father-in-law. I will have a serious talk with my father, and if he does not change, I will firmly support you and will never ask you to endure unreasonably again. Give me one last chance, can you?”
I looked at Zhang Qiang and decided to give this marriage another chance. So I agreed to stay, but also said to Zhang Qiang: "This is your last chance, if you are still like before, I will resolutely choose to divorce." ”
After that, Zhang Qiang really had a long conversation with his father-in-law. Although my father-in-law's concept is still relatively traditional, at Zhang Qiang's insistence, he finally stopped controlling my life too much. Zhang Qiang also began to pay attention to my feelings and often discussed family matters with me, instead of just doing things according to my father-in-law's ideas.