Every time I see my own children, I listlessly hold a report card with a shocking, blood-red big C, C-;Every time I see other people's children's parents in the parent group, they inadvertently post the A, A+ test papers;Every time I see the parents of other people's children, they inadvertently post the ** who receive the award, chirping to identify which one is his son and her daughter;The one in your heart is sour, and you can't wait to take off your slippers immediately and educate the stinky boy who is standing aside with his brain.
I have also encountered these problems before, I have three children (Cantonese, **2 sisters and a younger brother, the eldest is in the third year of junior high school, the second is in the fourth grade, and the third is now in the second grade. The boss's grades are okay, the top 10 in the class (usually before 5-10), generally don't care about it, it's just that the grades have to rise again, it's difficult, and I've been learning and trying some new methods recently. The second and third are all average, and the following B are the majority;The third child is much better now, A is more, A + also has it, B also has it, and C is very rare;The second sister's progress is relatively slow, she is in the 4th grade, it is difficult to teach, and she is very stubborn.
It turned out that I was busy with work and didn't pay enough attention to it, and my daughter-in-law and I also made a lot of mistakes in education, which made the children develop some bad habits and personalities, some of which have not been changed until now, and I regret it!
I have summarized the following points, which you can refer to.
If you find it useful, please pay attention, **I hope our children can grow up healthily and become useful people, we can save worry and money!
1. Parents should first understand themselves
We can start by asking ourselves a few questions:
1.Are my expectations reasonable for my child?
2.Am I communicating adequately with my child?
3.Am I giving my child enough autonomy?
4.Am I setting a good example?
5.Do I give my child enough encouragement and affirmation?
6.Do I know my child's interests and strengths?
Please pause to think.
Are my expectations reasonable for my child?
Reasonable expectations can make children feel understood and supported, while high expectations can be stressful and may directly lead to a loss of confidence. Therefore, the goal we set needs to be cyclical and gradual, for example: if you score 60 points in the test this time, then we will set a goal for him to score 65 points in the next test.
Am I communicating adequately with my child?
Good communication helps us understand the child's learning situation, difficulties and needs, and is the basis for solving problems. So please don't blindly ask and blame the child, in fact, the child also wants to learn well. We can communicate with our children regularly (for example, after dinner, it is not recommended to go to bed, some parents may not be able to control their emotions when they talk about it), understand their learning, feelings and thoughts, and also share some things in life.
We might as well lower our posture and treat our children as friends, so that they will open up to us and achieve twice the result with half the effort.
Am I giving my child enough autonomy?
Autonomy fosters a child's sense of responsibility and decision-making, making them feel trusted and valued. Therefore, we try to let children make independent decisions and solve problems within the appropriate range, and we generally only need to guide them when they encounter difficulties or make mistakes, so that children's independence and self-confidence are easy to develop.
Am I setting a good example?
We are a child's first teacher, and our actions and attitudes can have a profound impact on children. So we have to pay attention to our behavior, otherwise when there is a fork, the child will say, "That's what my dad did!"Actually, I didn't do this well, and I'm still working on it.
Do I give my child enough encouragement and affirmation?
Encouragement and affirmation are key to building children's self-confidence and motivating them to learn. I've made some mistakes in this regard, my eldest daughter has always been unconfident, so she seems a bit introverted and not good at words. It's better now, and everyone should pay more attention.
Do I know my child's interests and strengths?
Understanding your child's interests and strengths will help us better guide them and stimulate their enthusiasm for learning. You can also talk to them about the conditions later and give them a certain interest reward.
2. Get to know the child
In addition to understanding the child's level, habits and hobbies, it is also necessary to understand the common characteristics of children at this stage, including physiological characteristics and psychological characteristics.
Lower gradesPrimary school students (e.g. first and second grades) are at the beginning of their physical and mental development, and their physical development is not yet fully matureAttention is easily distractedWeak self-management skills。Therefore, their learning style is more inclined to focus on activities and games, and learn things through intuitive and visual learning. At this stage, the learning of knowledge is not the most important, but more important is to cultivate learning interests and habits, so that children can learn in a relaxed and happy atmosphere.
As you get older,Upper middle gradesPrimary school students (e.g. third, fourth and fifth grades) gradually mature physically and psychologicallySelf-awarenessGradually strengthened, began to have their ownIdeas and values。Their attention is more concentrated, and their thinking skills and self-management skills have also developed to a certain extent. At this stage, learning should pay more attention to the systematization and coherence of knowledge, and also focus on cultivating children's learning methods and strategies to help them better understand and master knowledge. In addition, as their social needs gradually increase, the learning environment also needs to be richer and more diverse to meet their psychological needs.
3. Prescribe the right medicine
After the above 2 steps, in fact, you already have a preliminary understanding of the problem. Right?
The following is a summary of the possible problems and how to deal with them:
1.Excessive learning pressure: Children may face excessive learning pressure, such as high parental expectations and heavy learning tasks, which can cause them to feel anxious and stressed, which will affect their learning effectiveness.
2.Difficulty concentrating: Children are easily distracted, causing them to be unable to focus on learning tasks, which can affect the effectiveness of learning.
3.Poor learning environment: Children may be in an environment that is not conducive to learning, such as a discordant family atmosphere, poor quality of school teaching, and poor relationships with classmates. These problems can cause their learning to be disrupted.
4.Emotional problems: Children may have emotional problems, such as anxiety, depression, etc., which may affect their learning effectiveness.
5.Lack of motivation to learn: Children may not fully realize the importance of learning, or lack clear learning goals, etc., resulting in a lack of motivation to learn.
6.Poor basic knowledge: Children have problems with basic knowledge, such as pinyin, word recognition, basic mathematical concepts, etc. These questions can cause them to find it difficult to learn more advanced knowledge.
7.Improper learning methods: Children may not have mastered effective learning methods and strategies, or rely too much on rote memorization and lack understanding and thinking. This can cause them to find it difficult to cope with flexible topics.
Among them, there are these problems, we have to reflect on it, because we have insufficient understanding and insufficient communication, which has led to the children's grades have not been able to get up.
The rest is covered below.
4. Cultivate concentration
Especially in the lower grades, it is difficult for elementary school students to concentrate, or after sitting for a while, they quickly become unable to sit still. In fact, this is nature, and we should not blame, let alone reprimand. We can set a shorter time, such as children in grade 2 or below, and let them do it20 minutesRest for 5 minutesand continue the cycle until you finish your homework. The older the child, the more you can defineLongerThe time (e.g. 30 minutes) can be determined with the child. At the same time, the child's surrounding environment and atmosphere are also very related, in a quiet room, it will be much better than in an environment with the TV on and Douyin.
Also, we can do some trainingA game of concentration
Jigsaw puzzles: Let your child play jigsaw puzzles, and as the difficulty of the puzzles gradually increases, the child's concentration will gradually improve.
Maze games: Let children find an exit in the maze, which requires them to concentrate and stay focused.
Find the difference game: Look for differences between two similar **, this kind of game requires children to carefully observe and compare, which helps to improve their concentration.
Memory games: Have your child memorize a series of objects or numbers and then ask them to repeat or draw them. This kind of game can help children exercise their memory and improve their concentration at the same time.
Schulte Table: This is a visual attention training game in which the numbers 1-25 are randomly filled in a square** and then asked to point out the position of the numbers in order. This kind of play can help children improve their visual concentration and attention span.
Building Blocks: Let your child build blocks according to instructions or their own imagination, and this kind of game requires their full attention to observe and think.
Children in the upper grades generally do not have the situation of being unable to sit still, but they also need a quiet environment, and items that affect the child such as mobile phones and comic books should be taken away as much as possible. Let your child play with him only after he has finished his homework or task.
5. The power of planning and habit
The attention of primary school students is easily affected by the external environment, resulting in problems such as lack of concentration, desertion, and lack of motivation for learning, so we must make some plans and persevere and form habits.
Making plans and making it a habit has the following benefits:
Improve learning efficiency: By making a plan, elementary school students can better manage their time and reduce wasted time. Planned arrangement of learning tasks can enable primary school students to learn more efficiently and improve learning results.
Enhance autonomy: Developing and implementing plans requires a certain amount of autonomy and self-management skills from primary school students. In this process, primary school students will gradually learn to think independently and solve problems on their own, and improve their ability to learn independently.
Develop good habits: Developing and executing a plan can help develop good habits in elementary school students, such as regular revision, concentration, independent thinking, etc. These habits are very important for future learning and growth, and can help primary school students better adapt to school and society.
Reduce the burden on parents: By guiding elementary school students to make plans and develop habits, parents can reduce a certain amount of burden without worrying too much about their children's learning and time management. At the same time, they can better understand the child's learning situation and grow together with the child.
Promote goal achievement: Having a plan and making it a habit helps elementary school students better achieve their goals. Whether it is a short-term goal or a long-term goal, it requires a planned effort and action. By cultivating habits and sticking to plans, elementary school students are able to achieve their goals step by step.
In view of children's desertion, lack of learning motivation, poor foundation, and asympathy of methods, we can work with children to develop appropriate plans and rewards to supervise and promote children's growth and change.
VI. Follow-up
Later, I will sort out a study and entertainment plan and a point reward and punishment table that I use now. You can come down for reference when the time comes, and I hope everyone will come to tell me later, the news of your child's progress. Our family is also trying, let's work together!Hundreds of help plan Let's pay attention to it first, otherwise you won't find it later, and you are welcome to share it with your friends!