I am a 53-year-old retired aunt living in a small city with my husband. I have a daughter who is the jewel of my palm. When she gave birth for the first time, I couldn't go to take care of my mother-in-law because she was not in good health and needed to take care of her. As happy as I heard the good news, I was also unhappy with my daughter's mother-in-law.
Later, the daughter got married, and we happily accepted the son-in-law, but when we met the son-in-law's parents, we found that they were very partial. The daughter told us that the son-in-law was brought up by his grandparents when he was a child, while his younger brother was spoiled by his parents, and his grades were terrible. My daughter's mother-in-law is not a good person either, and I am really worried about my daughter's future.
This story teaches us that sometimes we can't ignore a person's family background and homeschooling because of his superficial brilliance. These will have a great impact on his personality and Xi. In marriage, the families of both parties are also very important factors, and many problems will be exposed in marriage.
Therefore, we should get to know each other's families well before getting married to see if both parties can adapt to each other's family culture. Only in this way can we find a partner who is truly suitable for us and move towards a happy married life. An unfortunate encounter, a worrying marriage, and a chilling in-laws. This is the reality I face.
When the daughter and son-in-law were about to get married, the son-in-law's younger brother had just been admitted to a second-class university. My daughter felt aggrieved by her parents' partiality, and I was worried about my daughter's marriage. My husband is even more worried that his daughter will be treated unfairly if she marries into an eccentric family. His daughter's boyfriend had long been chilled by his parents' behavior, and he worked hard to study Xi, work-study, and rely on scholarships to pay for tuition and living expenses.
The younger brother is dependent on the support of his parents, and his monthly living expenses are not enough to spend. My daughter told me that she fully understands her boyfriend's situation, that she likes him and will not let his family problems affect their relationship. Eventually, we agreed to our daughter's marriage. However, in the process of talking about marriage, the attitude of my in-laws made me feel chilled. Not only did they cry poor, but they couldn't even get the money for the wedding banquet.
In order to show his sincerity, the son-in-law gave us the 80,000 yuan he had saved as a bride price. We didn't care about it, and took the money back to our daughter as a dowry. Thinking back to the bad things in my son-in-law's family, I began to worry about my daughter who had just given birth. Confinement is very important for women. In order to allow my daughter to have a good confinement, I transferred 50,000 yuan to her and asked her to hire a sister-in-law or sign up for a confinement center.
The day before yesterday, my mother-in-law finally removed the plaster cast and was able to walk normally, so I went to my daughter's house to visit her. When I saw my daughter, I was relieved. She didn't seem to have suffered too much, she was sitting on the bed coaxing the child, and the confinement lady was preparing a confinement meal for her. My daughter told me that this confinement lady was recommended by her husband's colleague and was very professional, and both she and the baby were well taken care of.
I feel relieved knowing that my daughter is loved and cared for in this family. Although the attitude of the in-laws is chilling, the son-in-law's efforts and sincerity make me believe that my daughter's marriage will be happy. I hope that my daughter can be strong and brave to face the difficulties and challenges in the future. As a mother, I will always support her and pray for her happiness and joy.
Aunt Hu's experience shows us the contradiction between family affection, marriage and money in a family. On this issue, I would like to give some advice to Aunt Hu. First of all, as a daughter's pre-marital property, the daughter's dowry belongs to the daughter herself. The daughter's husband did not have the right to demand a dowry from his daughter, let alone her in-laws.
Secondly, the daughter's alimony is also a matter for the daughter and son-in-law, and the in-laws have no right to demand more alimony from the daughter and son-in-law. Finally, as a mother-in-law, you should respect the feelings of your daughter and son-in-law and give them full support and understanding.
If the mother-in-law repeatedly interferes in the lives of her daughter and son-in-law, or even affects their family happiness, then Aunt Hu can choose to keep a certain distance from her mother-in-law, or communicate with her mother-in-law frankly, so that her mother-in-law can understand the position and feelings of her daughter and son-in-law. Finally, we should remember that family harmony and mutual respect are important guarantees of family happiness.