Why do some people always fail to walk out of the shadow of inferiority?
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Low self-esteem exists in everyone's life, do you know what low self-esteem looks like?
There was a mother who went to the zoo with her three children to see a lion, and the lion suddenly became animalistic, roaring and roaring at the crowd.
The first child was so frightened that he shivered and stayed where he wasThe second child cried and shouted for his mother to come home;The third child was so bold that he stuck out his tongue at the lion.
In Adler's view, the performance of the three children all reveals an inferiority tendency.
Low self-esteem is a negative state of mind in which we think we are flawed, not strong enough, and feel incompetent.
When we watch TV, there is usually a male protagonist who can't protect the woman he loves, and feels that he is cowardly and incompetent;There will also be many people in my life who think that my family background is not good, my work is not good, and I feel that I am inferior to others everywhere.
For example, a few years ago, when the shared bicycle first came out, it robbed some people's business, and they were particularly dissatisfied, but they couldn't do anything about other people's platforms, so they could only express their resentment and dissatisfaction by destroying the shared bicycle. I can't make as much money as you do, but I can sabotage your money, I'll tear down your car and see how you rob me.
Destroying other people's things, and not being discovered, at the same time, there is a trace of smugness in my heart, and I feel that I am very powerful. But at the same time, he found that he could never be destroyed, and he could not compete with the platform thousands of times stronger than him, and in the end, he was not only unwilling to be robbed of business by others, but also full of helplessness.
There is a very interesting rule, the more people like to express something, the more they prove what they lack.
For example, people who dress very exaggeratedly, wear black sunglasses and think that they are old boys, and they are rich people with big gold chains, and people who are really powerful do not need to prove to others often.
Everyone has such a person around them, who will say how successful and rich they were in the past, who can have eaten with that big star, and who has the leader's WeChat, who will show that he is very powerful.
Customers don't leave the goods, wealth is not exposed, I've seen really powerful people, they are very good at hiding.
When we interview for jobs, we are Xi to magnifying our strengths and strengths, ostensibly to gain the favor of the interviewer, but in fact, we want to show others that we are very powerful, so as to gain a sense of superiority and hide our inferiority complex.
Because in an interview relationship, candidates are often in a passive situation and are pushed away, just like cabbage being picked around on a vegetable stall, only by performing themselves as well as possible can the other party be selected, and there is an unequal psychological pressure in the middle.
People who seek superiority are very good at swearing their sovereignty, such as making trouble when others are doing it, saying cool things, or sneering and insulting others, saying that they disdain to do such small things.
Dr. Adler said, "If you see me in class one day and climb up with a ladder and give you a lecture, will you think I'm crazy?".
When dealing with such abnormal behavior of a person, we usually get that person down the ladder by pulling, coaxing, cheating, and saying nice things, but no one wants to try to understand why the person is standing on the ladder.
Even if you get him off the ladder today, tomorrow he will still be standing on a table or a chair, the point of the matter is not that he is standing on the **, but why he is doing it.
In fact, this person gains a sense of superiority by standing taller than others, thus replacing the inferiority complex in his heart.
Low self-esteem begins with a child's weak sense of helplessness, which is exacerbated later by various obstacles in life.
For example, some children, when they are young, can't play with other partners and classmates, and cooperate with various problems.
Some people will continue to live in this shadow and have low self-esteem. And long-term inferiority complex will form an inferiority complex, like a piece of ice, which will always be stuck in your heart, cold and cold.
The inferiority complex will tell them that success in cooperation will never be their own.
There are also people who compensate themselves for themselves, such as overeating, physical injury, crazy night running, and so on.
There are many people who will fall into internal friction in their thoughts, and before they have done it, they will be stopped by the difficulties after thinking about it, and it is easy to feel inferior when staring at the results that they can't achieve, what if they don't succeed?
Long-term low self-esteem will limit people's practical actions, and they often give themselves strong responsibilities and pressures in their hearts, but they hesitate to encounter things, which often leads to stagnation of problems.
The German philosopher Hegel said, "Inferiority is often accompanied by slackness." ”
Low self-esteem itself is not **, but negative behavior will make you shameful and unspeakable.
In Adler's view, inferiority is a normal and common phenomenon of human beings, and in a sense, inferiority can also promote the development of human beings and make people have a motivation to change in their hearts.
For example, when I was a child, I was very poor, and when I grew up and worked, I wanted to make my life better through hard work.
Adler said: "Only individuals who truly face and take control of life's problems are the ones who show a tendency to benefit others in their efforts, and they move forward in a way that benefits others."
If we treat others in the right way, we won't find them hard to be convinced. All judgments of value and success are ultimately based on cooperation, which is the greatest common denominator of humanity. ”
Heavy inferiority complex will put a shackle on people, and people often retreat in the face of difficulties and return without success, which is not conducive to people's development;And a moderate low self-esteem will become a source of motivation for change and make yourself work hard.
Only by correctly understanding inferiority, connecting oneself with the whole society, working together with others, and embodying self-worth;Bravely fight against your inner shadow, everyone can be their own inner hero by defeating themselves.
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Reference book: "Inferiority and Transcendence": Adler, along with Freud and Jung, is known as one of the three major psychologists of the 20th century, and he is also the father of modern self psychology. Adler said: "All human civilization has developed by giving a sense of inferiority. "When we are faced with confusion in life, we can find the source of motivation to surpass ourselves from this book.
Make Yourself Better" Guide |Motivation for inferiority.
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