Chernyshevsky once said: "The more mature a man is, the more he is able to appreciate the beauty of women and admire their charm." ”
Indeed, truly mature men know how to appreciate women, and it is easier to win their affection.
On the contrary, men who have never been married often turn a blind eye to the beauty of women, thus missing out on many opportunities for love.
They tend to be too demanding of women, look at the women around them too harshly, and always feel that they can find a better person, resulting in them missing out on their good relationship and eventually becoming a single person for a long time.
Many men who have not been married for a long time are not in poor condition or bad character, but are too demanding on women. They are reluctant to accept the advice of others, nor are they willing to change positively, and have always insisted on participating in blind dates on their own terms.
Such an attitude leads to a dilemma and blind spot in mate selection, and if the attitude of mate selection is not corrected, it may be difficult to get rid of the single, making the marriage unattainable.
So, why can't a man who has been unmarried for a long time find a wife? There are three reasons for this, and they have nothing to do with women.
1. Not good at getting along with women, with eccentric temperIn life, many men who have not been married for a long time have a paranoid personality, they have a bad temper and cannot get along with women, so it is difficult to win the favor of women.
Even if such men have women around them, it is difficult for them to establish a good relationship, because they make it difficult for women to get along in their relationships, and it is difficult to maintain a relationship and marriage.
This type of man is usually reluctant to change himself, indifferent to the opinions of others, always opinionated, and basically does not arouse the interest of women.
For example, a colleague of mine, Mr. Yang, is over 36 years old and comes from a privileged family, but he has always been single. When I first came to our unit, everyone thought that he was too demanding of women, but later found out that the problem was not that, but that he was really not good at getting along with women.
I remember one time when the office ran out of drinking water and asked him to change a bucket, he procrastinated, waited for many urgings before getting up slowly, and muttered: "You women are really hypocritical, can't you move a bucket of water?" ”
At that time, I was really speechless, changing the water was originally the responsibility of men, but he pulled the problem to women's hypocrisy, and it was really difficult to get along.
Another time, he went to the warehouse, and I asked him to get me some printer paper by the way, and he said impatiently, "Can't you go yourself?" ”
I responded, "You're just going, grab it for me, what's the problem?" ”
As a result, he actually replied: "You are really delicate, and you can really command people." ”
I didn't really know how to respond, I just asked him for a small favor and he said it so harshly. Our colleagues in the office didn't like him very much, although some people had introduced him before, but then they were no longer willing to do so, and there was no need to introduce him, because women didn't like him at all.
It's not for nothing that he's been single, and if he doesn't change himself and doesn't learn to get along with women, I'm afraid it's really hard to find a suitable other half.
Therefore, for people like Mr. Yang who have been unmarried for a long time, it is recommended that they learn to get along with women first.
Because in order to find the right match, the first impression of a woman is crucial. If you are always indifferent and constantly laugh at women for being hypocritical and troublesome, the other person will basically exclude you from the first meeting.
Men need to be able to control their emotions and not show their faces even if they are unhappy. If you lose your temper at every turn and appear very impatient, how can you win the favor of women?
Second, the economic foundation is poor, and there is no self-motivation In life, many men who have not been married for a long time have relatively poor economic conditions, and are unwilling to work hard and lack self-motivation, so it is difficult to find a suitable partner.
This is not to say that women only value men's economic conditions, but they value men's self-motivation more. If a man is not self-motivated, has no plan for the future, lacks a sense of responsibility, and just lives a life as it happens, even if he has money, women will not easily associate with him.
The ancients said: "Sit and eat the mountain empty, and eat the ground immediately." ”
If a man is not self-motivated, has no plan for the future, lacks a sense of responsibility, and just messes around, even if he has money, he will quickly lose everything. When a woman meets such a man, how can she have a crush on him? Women are not expected to follow a man who is rich and wealthy, or at least expect him to be able to solve life problems.
Many unmarried men have the idea that "since they choose to marry me, they should accompany me to endure hardships", and completely blame women for their lack of effort and irresponsibility, which is a very wrong concept.
If you don't change this mindset, you may really not find a suitable wife. For example, my colleague Mr. Yang, who has a monthly salary of 7,000, is neither high nor low, but he is a person who is not willing to work hard.
At work, he never takes the initiative to take on extra workload, for fear that he will suffer if he does a little more. Therefore, for many years he remained just an ordinary clerk.
I remember one time I worked overtime with him because I was unwell and it was difficult to make it to the end. However, the report of the meeting to be held the next day was still two pages away.
So, I asked him to help me do it, and I actually had all the materials I needed, just a little bit of a slideshow and some sound effects.
Unexpectedly, he actually rejected me, saying, "Why do you want me to do your work?" You women really want to be beautiful. ”
I was speechless for a while, he refused to even work overtime, let alone help. In the past, when colleagues needed help, they were always happy to lend a hand, but he seemed cold and unforgiving.
Because of Mr. Yang's work attitude, his superiors have always been not optimistic about him and have never given him the opportunity for promotion and salary increase. A person's lack of enthusiasm for their work is often reflected in the details of their daily lives. While his refusal to help may not say much about this small matter, his job is always sloppy and often wrong.
He treats his work like this, and he probably doesn't have much passion in life. If a man doesn't have a positive attitude, is unwilling to work hard, and doesn't care about the future, he is basically messing around.
What woman would be willing to marry such a man? There is indeed a reason why they are single. If you don't change, I'm afraid it's really hard to find a wife.
3. Stingy, calculatingIn life, there are some men who have been unmarried for a long time who are very stingy and unwilling to pay for everything, and it is basically difficult to find a partner.
When women interact with them, it is difficult to see their generosity and cannot tolerate their stinginess, so they are reluctant to continue their relationships.
Such men do not mean that they have a problem with their character, but when they get along with women, they lack the mentality of paying, and they treat everything carefully, which makes women feel hopeless.
Whether emotionally or materially, they are not willing to suffer, and even if they fall in love, they will keep some. Once the relationship becomes calculating, it is basically difficult to last long.
Especially when it comes to money, they are almost a dime, for fear that they will spend an extra penny, and naturally no woman will have a good impression of them.
For example, Mr. Yang is like this, he doesn't automatically pay every time he goes out, he always eats someone else's, and he looks very ungentlemanly.
Once, he and I were on a business trip, and the two of us ate out for a total of 147 yuan. At that time, he actually asked me AA, and I didn't have any gentlemanly demeanor.
After I went back, I transferred 70 yuan to him, but he actually said that the money I transferred to him was not enough, which really made me speechless.
From this point, I realized that it was no wonder that he couldn't find a girlfriend, so careful, how could he get the favor of women?
Therefore, there is really a reason why some men who have been unmarried for a long time cannot find a wife.
They are too stingy and too petty in the face of women, and there are no women who want to continue dating.
Even if it's a blind date, they may struggle to succeed, and women can see what kind of person they are just by touching them.
Eventually, women will be dismissive of them, and the road to choosing a mate will become more and more difficult.
To be honest, if a man wants to impress women, at least when getting along with women, he must be more personable, generous, and willing to pay to win the favor of women.
If you are stingy everywhere, take care of everything, and never have the mentality of paying, it may be really difficult to get off the list.