1 My husband is a chicken, I took his hand and said this is a chicken claw, pointed to his head and said this is a chicken head, pointed to his eyes and said this is a corn, and when I said that the neck was a chicken neck, I paused and said this is a chicken neck, my husband suddenly became anxious when he heard this, and jumped up angrily to correct me: Are you uneducated, this is called chicken neck!Chicken neck!
2After two years of separation from my girlfriend, I received the good news from her, the other party is a diamond king, and my heart suddenly has mixed feelings. My friends advised me not to be too upset, and I was so anxious that tears were about to come out, saying that I had to go to this wedding. Because I just want to know how this old lady is so ugly and knows a rich man?!
3 cousin used to work in a milk tea shop during the summer vacation, and then went to a pesticide shop to sell pesticides, but he didn't expect to be fried that day, and asked him why, he said: The customer asked me to buy a bottle of pesticides, I asked him if he wanted a straw?
4My cousin and sister-in-law brought my nephew to my house and brought a big box of biscuits. I opened the cookie box and took a cookie to my nephew. My nephew resolutely refused to eat it, and I said, "Don't be afraid, your parents agree to eat it, eat it!."He said, "No way, they agreed to eat it, so they wouldn't give it away, they all said it was junk food." ”
5 A few people went to a driving school to learn to drive, and met an old instructor, who had a particularly hot temper, which made several of them miserable.
In the end, a few people discussed it and went directly to the principal of the driving school to report. The principal listened to their report, his expression was very serious, and he took several puffs of cigarette before picking up the landline and dialing a series of numbers.
* When I called, I only heard the principal's trembling voice say: "Dad, a few students have reported you, what do you think?"”
6 "National teacher, I got up this morning and found that the jade seal of the country was missing a corner. The jade seal is a national treasure, symbolizing the country's society and the national teacher, and now it has broken a corner, what does this mean?National Teacher: "Your Majesty, this means that you are not holding it steady." "Haha!
7 One day, Xiaojun wrote an essay in the classroom: "My Home".
Xiaojun wrote: "My family has three people, my father and mother, and I go out every morning, and the three of us go our separate ways, go our separate ways, and end up in the same evening.
Dad was an architect and was on the construction site every dayMom is a salesperson, and she doesn't refuse to come to the store every dayI'm a student, and I'm stuck in the classroom every day.
8When I went to work today, my colleague said to me, "My wife is so considerate of me!."That's nice. I asked, "What's wrong?".He said, "Last night, I went for a drink." My house is on the 27th floor, and when I came back, I pressed the wrong floor and went up to the 26th floor. I knocked on the door downstairs on the 26th floor of my house and found it was my wife. She said, I knew you were drinking and knocked on the wrong door, so I was waiting for you at Lao Wang's house downstairs. You see how much my wife understands me!"I ......This kid is not real.
9A beautiful mm walked into the bar and sat down in a corner, and the waiter asked, "What do you want?"mm said, "Did any men look at me when I came in just now?"The waiter was surprised and replied, "No." mm said, "It seems that no one is paying for me, so let's get something cheap!." ”
10What should I do if I quarrel with my girlfriend and ask for forgiveness, but she won't even open the door?
When you get to the door, ring the doorbell, clear your throat, three words, and the door will open: "There is a courier!."”
11 Man: "We want a baby!."”
Woman: "Whose child can give it to you?"”
M: "I'm talking about having a baby together." ”
Woman: "If you want someone together, you can't give it to you?"”
M: "I said we want to have a baby when we sleep." ”
Woman: "Why do you want to sleep?"Can people still give you children when you sleep?”
Man: "Forget it, don't want it, eighty percent of the children who want to come out like this are also fools!."”
12 In the fourth grade, my son did not do well in math and English. I tutored him with *** respectively. The results are remarkable. This exam was a perfect score. My wife was so happy that she asked her son to write an essay to thank me and *** for the topic. Later, we saw an article called "Dad and Auntie's Things That Have to Be Said".
I'll go, we're innocent, this topic is not shallow!