Hello everyone, I'm "he said", welcome to watch "Joke Collection" (Attached: The weather is getting cold, everyone pay attention to keep warm).
Do you have someone you like?”
Yes, myself".
Yo!What a coincidence, I am your rival."
When I went to buy potatoes today, I asked the boss: Boss, is this the ** potato?
The boss replied: You don't care about the best potatoes, as long as you buy them home, they are your potatoes.
Instantly, I felt that the boss was so witty, and I was speechless.
Rich and faced, called male gods;Rich and faceless to call her husband;has a face and no money to be called Lan Yan;As for those who have no money and no face, I'm sorry you're a good person.
What a painful realization!
Q: Why is it okay to wear briefs on the beach, but to be a hooligan on the street?
A: There is no sea on the street, so you can't be waved!
5. Express delivery. Just now, just now!Pick up the courier, because it is a small piece, the courier buddy looked for a long time and did not find my package, so he turned his head and asked me: "What are you?".”
I paused for 3 seconds and said, "I'm a human ......."”
Nasty girlfriends.
Today, my parents went to eat lobster and didn't call me, so I posted on QQ that my parents didn't call me when they went to eat lobster, did I send it with phone bills.
Today, I saw a sister comment on me: It's a miracle that your parents chose you instead of peanut oil for phone bills!
The sixth who sells watermelons.
When I went to buy watermelon and asked if it was sweet, the boss said, "Say it's not sweet, you definitely won't buy it." If I say it's sweet, but how can I know if I haven't eaten this melon?Life is like buying watermelon, the unknown is exciting. Don't cringe when you try it, if you taste it so sweet, you will feel happy and satisfied. If it's not sweet, you're brave too. If you are afraid that it will not be sweet, you will not buy it, what you give up is not a chance to eat watermelon, but a loss of self-confidence. ”
Half an hour later, I ran to the boss: "The melon is not sweet".
The boss said: "You spend 80 to buy a self-confidence and return the money......."”
Friend: "Do you know how to fix a broken tooth?"”
Me: "I don't know. ”
Friend: "You really don't know how to trim your teeth." "Me.
When I was doing the subway today, there was a couple sitting opposite, the boy's appearance was indescribable, and the girl's appearance was quite good-looking. At that time, I heard the girl say to her boyfriend, "I saw my best friend's boyfriend today, it's so ugly."
The boy said, "Uglier than me?"“
At this time, I thought that the girl would comfort him and say something like you are not ugly, but the girl said: "It's not the same ugly method with you!".“
10. Body type.
At night, I saw that there were still many takeaway guys on the street running around delivering food, and I suddenly felt very inspired. It's so late, everyone else is still eating, so why shouldn't I?
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