Showing off is a way to prove one's worth to others, showing off is a more complex psychological mechanism, usually involving a person's self-esteem, self-identity and self-worth ......
Everyone craves recognition and respect, and the same is true for the elderly.
When people get old, because they leave their jobs, their own sense of worth will become lower, so some people will continue to show off to others in order to be recognized by others and prove their worth.
As a parent, in order not to be degraded by their children, in order to be able to leave a tall and majestic image for their children, they always can't help but show off their glorious past to their children.
However, it is important for parents to know how to balance when showing off to their children. The following three things are best not to show off to your children, there is nothing good, don't take it seriously.
1. Show off your savings
In life, many parents have a little money in their hands, and they can't hide their pride in and out of their words, and they have to show off everywhere:
If you have anything you like, you can buy it, your parents have money, and your parents will help you buy it";"What kind of work is so tiring?If you don't want to do it, don't do it, it's a big deal to go home, and your parents can't afford to support you";"Our savings are millions, and we don't need to rely on you for pension at all," ......
Although it is said that parents and children boast about the money in their hands, on the one hand, it is also so that their children can relax and not be overworked, which is a sign of loving their children.
However, if parents always educate their children in this way, it is easy for them to become an old man who does not want to make progress and is content with pleasure.
You must know that even if parents have money in their hands, if their children become people who don't know how to work hard and only know how to enjoy, then no amount of money will be enough for their children to squander.
Therefore, if parents don't want to indulge their children's inertia and don't want their children to become gnawing old people, then don't tell their children about their savings and let their children work their own.
In fact, don't show off your savings in front of your children, there is another purpose, that is, to leave a guarantee for your old age.
In this highly competitive society, raising children to prevent old age has become a thing of the past, and today's children are fortunate not to gnaw on the old, and they can't count on their children to support the elderly.
In such a social background, most of the parents of this generation need to rely on themselves for the elderly, so it is particularly important to have enough pension money in hand.
Therefore, when people reach their old age, they must keep their savings and do not show off to their children casually, so as not to give birth to their children's thoughts.
2. Show off your connections
In their later years, in order to have more face in front of their children, many parents always say exaggerated things to make their children respect themselves more, such as: bragging about how successful their career was and how well connected they used to ......
Parents may just say it casually, but they are afraid that their children will take it seriously, thinking that their parents have a wide range of connections, and they can also follow the light, so they will be arrogant and arrogant.
There is an example of this:
An old man who used to work in the public security bureau, when he retired at home, often showed off his connections with his children, threatening: "If you have any problems, just tell me that although I am retired, the public security bureau is all my people......."”
Hearing such words often makes the children become a lot more arrogant outside.
Once, when the old man's son was eating out, he had a quarrel with someone else, he relied on his father's relationship, and didn't take others in his eyes at all, and when he was angry, he directly smashed other people's heads on a bench, and said: "My father is from the Public Security Bureau, even if he beats you, you can't ...... me."”
As a result, not only did the son need to be held legally responsible for his actions, but even his retired father was investigated and prosecuted.
You see, this is the result of blindly flaunting one's connections, which will only harm others and oneself in the end.
In fact, people who are really capable will not brag about their past achievements and connections in front of their children's descendants, because they are strong and full in their hearts, they are not inferior, they are not vain, and they do not need to prove themselves in this way.
In addition, they also know that the so-called network is the exchange of resources and value, and if they don't have the ability, no matter how many people they know, it's useless.
3. "Show off" your efforts
In real life, there are many parents who are worried that their children are not filial to themselves, so they always talk about "their own dedication to their children", so as to increase pressure on their children and make their children more and more filial to them.
There is such a sentence on the Internet: "If you have children in order to provide for yourself, then don't say how much you love your children, you are just paying for yourself." ”
I think so. In the final analysis, childbearing is a one-way choice for parents, and one-way choices must bear the consequences. Whether it is financial pressure or emotional constraints, parents should face it.
However, many parents always blame their children for their efforts and sacrifices, feeling that without children, they don't have to work so hard, and they can easily have a better life.
Therefore, they naturally use "their own efforts and sacrifices" to morally kidnap their children, make them feel guilty, and make their children pay for their unsatisfactory lives. However, this is not fair to the children.
In fact, there is no need for parents to "show off" their efforts in front of their children.
If children are filial and do not need to exert pressure, they will also be good to their parents wholeheartedly and repay their parents for their nurturing kindnessIf the children themselves are not filial, even if they say that the sky is broken, they will not become filial, but will only become more disgusted with their parents and flee further.
Conclusion: When people get old, they want to prove their worth and want their children to recognize themselves, which is understandable.
However, it is important to pay attention to certain ways and means to grasp the proportions. In any case, the above three things should be shown off to your children as much as possible, and there is no benefit to them, so you need to keep them in mind.
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