For a long time in ancient times, China was a society in which men were superior to women, and men were the backbone of society and the family, while women were humble beings who had to abide by the Three Principles and Five Constants and were restricted from freedom and development.
Therefore, in the past society, patriarchy was a common phenomenon. In many families, parents only value their sons, believing that only sons are the inheritance of the bloodline and the future of the familyAnd the daughter is a loser of money and goods, and sooner or later she is the ...... of someone else's family
The times have developed to the present, the idea of equality between men and women has been popularized, and the attitude of parents towards their sons and daughters has also tended to be the same, and daughters have become treasures held in the hands of many parents.
However, in terms of marriage, the traditional Xi of male marriage and female marriage has always been followed, that is, the son marries his wife into the door, and the daughter marries into someone else's house as a daughter-in-law. It is precisely because of the difference in marriage that many parents will treat their sons and daughters differently after their children get married.
However, parents who really feel sorry for their daughter, even after their daughter gets married, will try to do the following three things, which is really far-sighted.
1. Don't say anything about life, and don't treat your daughter as an outsider
In real life, there is no shortage of parents who will say this to their daughters:
After getting married, he will be a member of someone else's family, and then he will be a guest in his family."
Married daughters are not allowed to return to their parents' homes during the New Year's holidays, otherwise it will not be good for their parents' brothers";
The children of the daughter's family belong to someone else's family, and the children of the son's family are their own, and we only bring grandchildren, not grandchildren......
To be honest, even if these words come out of someone else's mouth, it will make the married daughter feel heartache, let alone the biological parents themselves?
In fact, many times, it is not that the daughter forgets her mother's family after she has her in-laws, but in the patriarchal thinking and the various words of her parents, it makes her daughter feel cold. They have to restrain their feelings for their parents, regard themselves as outsiders, and no longer regard their mother's family as their own home.
However, if after the daughter is married, the parents can treat the daughter like a son, never say anything to the daughter, and do their best to help the daughter's small family ......In this way, the daughter is bound to be more intimate and reliable than the son, and can provide for her parents more conscientiously.
2. Become a strong backing for your daughter and leave a good way out for your daughter
In life, there are many parents who hold the idea that when their daughter gets married, the responsibility of their parents will be completed, and whether their daughter's married life is happy or not in the future depends on her own creation.
Parents who have such thoughts, when their daughters are unhappy after marriage or even abused, they will only blindly let their daughters endure and give in, on the grounds that "there will always be stumbles in marriage, and patience will pass";"If you get divorced, not only will your daughter's own reputation be affected, but also her mother's reputation will be implicated......”
However, such parents do not understand that a person's original family is their eternal reliance and harbor, and the love and support given to them by their parents is their motivation and guarantee on the way forward.
As the saying goes: A woman's confidence and status in her in-law's family after marriage depends to a large extent on whether her mother's family can give enough support and love.
I think so. A woman with her mother's family as a solid backing, her married life is naturally not as bad as **, after all, even if her in-laws are arrogant, she needs to be afraid of a woman's mother's familyHowever, a woman who does not have the backing of her mother's family, once she encounters a bad in-law, then she will inevitably become a fish on the board and be slaughtered.
Therefore, as a parent, if you want your daughter to live a better life after marriage, you must strive to be your daughter's backing, understand and support your daughter unconditionally, no matter when, you must leave a place for your daughter at home, and when your daughter is wronged, you can return to her warm mother's home at any time.
3. Take care of your body and don't cause trouble to your daughter
For a long time, the most common way to care for the elderly in China is to raise children to prevent old age. Therefore, in the eyes of many parents, when they are old and sick, they have to rely on their sons.
That being said, when parents can't take care of themselves and need to be taken care of, it's still the daughter who can be by her side and take care of her parents.
On the one hand, daughters have always had the saying that their parents have little padded jackets, and they will feel sorry for their parents, and will try to take care of their parents so that their parents will be less afflicted by illness;On the other hand, most women focus on their families after they get married, while men focus on their careers after marriage, so it is often daughters who take on the responsibility of taking care of their parents.
However, no matter whether a person is old or sick, whether he relies on his son or daughter, it is right to take care of his own body first and not cause trouble to his or her children's descendants.
After all, once a person has physical problems, is sick, or loses the ability to take care of himself, then not only will he have to suffer from the pain of illness and bring great financial distress to the family, but he also needs his children to spare a lot of time and energy to take care of them.
Therefore, whether it is for yourself or for your children, it is a very important thing to take care of your body.
Conclusion: As the saying goes: the love of parents and children is far-reaching.
Parents who really feel sorry for their daughters will do the above three things after their daughters get married, which is really far-sighted.
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