Text|Zhu Shenyong.
Half a year ago, I took on the case of a stay-at-home wife.
Her husband's career is doing very well, and he has one or two small target industries. The wife is responsible for taking care of the two children at home. In fact, there are also four nannies who are taking care of the whole family, and the wife only needs to manage the affairs of these nannies on a daily basis and do a good job of rear management.
After almost 20 years of marriage, she thought she was the happiest woman in the world, but recently she found out that her husband had an illegitimate child who was in elementary school outside.
The wife is very devastated, but she is forty years old, her husband is very rich, she has been used to a life of worry-free food and clothing for so many years, although she knows that her husband's deviance is very painful, but she can't make the determination to end the marriage, she is worried that the future interests of her children will be damaged, and she has been very entangled.
If she continues to live, it will be difficult for her to forgive her husband's betrayal in her heart, and her husband is still secretly Chen Cang with Xiaolu, and he also travels abroad with his illegitimate child.
She was reluctant to get a divorce. On the one hand, I don't want to be cheap Xiaolu and the illegitimate child, if I get divorced, the assets created by my husband in the future will belong to Xiaolu and their illegitimate child.
On the other hand, she feels that there is still a relationship between husband and wife for so many years, and she doesn't want to give it up.
When I took over this case, I first made an assessment of her marriage, and made an assessment according to the five criteria for evaluating marriage by marriage management expert Zhu Shenyong:
1. The emotional foundation is still very good, and I am free to love for two years and get married.
2. The marriage is also developing very well, the career has taken off, and there are two cute and smart children. The community building of relatives and friends is also good.
3. The satisfaction of marriage is still very good, there are also sexual affairs, both parties are also considerate, and most of the psychological aspects such as care are also satisfied.
4 The contradictions and conflicts in marriage are mainly due to the loss of balance in the development of both parties, the man develops too fast, the woman stops developing, and revolves around the child all day long, playing mahjong with friends when she is fine, and she doesn't ask about her husband's career, and she doesn't understand it, and the common language is getting less and less. In addition, long-distance marriages in recent years have not yet been resolved.
5. Neither party has the intention of divorce.
From the evaluation of these five aspects, this marriage can still be considered to be saved, but to save it, the problems in the two marriages must be solved.
One is to end long-distance marriages.
The second is to end extramarital romances. first ask her husband and Xiaolu to break up emotionally, and then solve the problem of raising illegitimate children.
After more than half a year of counseling, the husband has ended the extramarital relationship, signed a breakup agreement with Xiaolu, and signed an agreement on the custody of the illegitimate child.
Therefore, when we encounter a husband who deviates, whether the husband has money or not, whether the wife is a strong woman or a full-time wife, we must choose to go to war and evaluate the quality of the marriage first.
Marriage can be saved, then resolutely knock out the extramarital affair.
If there is no quality in marriage, then go to war and divorce to obtain your own maximum interests and start your new life.
Wonderful recommendation:
I can't bear the children in the divorce, and I'm afraid that my ex-husband will say bad things about me to the children, what should I do?The husband deviated, how can the wife not only grasp his weakness, but also give the third son a horse?My husband regrets that he deviated, but what should I do if I can't let go of San'er?My life is sparkling