Here's what a reader wrote:
At marriageable age, he was introduced by relatives to his ex-wife and married. My ex-wife is a virtuous woman, but because she didn't grow up in my aesthetic system, I only maintained a face-to-face posture in this relationship. During this period, both my parents, relatives and friends said that I had a good life and met a particularly good wife, only I didn't think so. In the third year of married life, I met my current wife, just because the other party's appearance made my eyes shine, I began to pursue her crazy, and after my pursuit of the current wife was discovered by my ex-wife, I did not hesitate to file for divorce from my ex-wife. When I divorced my ex-wife, our children were just over a year old.
During my relationship with my current wife, because my current wife didn't have much contact with my parents, and I didn't have much involvement in life, at that time, I only knew that my current wife liked to spend money compared to my ex-wife. And because my monthly income is okay, I don't get tired of my current wife. But in the 3 months after 8 months of love and the result of marriage, I gradually saw the face of my current wife, and at this time, I began to miss my ex-wife, but I didn't regret the pill.
Briefly talk about the daily life of the current wife in the first three months of marriage:
1) My current wife never cooks, and if I want to eat home-cooked meals, I need to cook them myself, otherwise I can only go to the restaurant or order takeout;
2) My current wife didn't have a proper job in the first place, and after marrying me, she quit her job and showed a lazy posture at home
3) My current wife rarely walks around with my parents, and even if my parents occasionally visit our house, my current wife is still in a state of ignoring her
4) My monthly income will basically be spent by my current wife, and I don't have a little plan for my future life, and I have a sense that she hasn't lived with me for a long time
5) Because my current wife has a very bad relationship with my parents and relatives and friends, the result is that the relationship between my parents and relatives and friends and me has become estranged.
Mu Zi Li emotion**:
The conventional mindset that people should have in the process of running a marriage includes:
1) In the marriage and love market, appearance and money occupy a more important position, but character, personality, living habits, and attitude towards the world should also become indicators that need to be considered. When two people have lived together for a long time, maybe the appearance part is not so important, after all, the relationship will show a trajectory of high and low, and it is easy for couples to have aesthetic fatigue. At this time, the maintenance of the relationship between husband and wife depends on the involvement of children, the precipitation of family affection, and the restriction of conscience. For this reason, in the process of managing your marriage, if you can feel that your other half is carefully managing your life, please do not let it down easily. Maybe your lover doesn't show the perfect state you know, but it is the best choice for your marriageable age.
2) We need to understand the truth, if you know some rich people, if the other party's money is not spent on you, the other party's money will have nothing to do with you, especially if the other party does not take you seriously at all, please do not give the other party a needless flattery;If a person's appearance is outstanding, but the other party is not interested in you at all, or can not show a heart in front of you, don't let down the person who treats you sincerely because of the existence of the other party, once you are obsessed with a person's appearance, and lose the person who is really good to you, sooner or later you will reap regrets, the key is that there is no regret medicine to take. It's a pity that there are always some people in life who are sad about their "appearance", so that they lose their bland happiness in a nymphomaniac state.
3) The essence of marriage is to live together, during this period, both parties may not be absolutely fair in terms of making money and contributing, but they need to have a sense of paying. If in a relationship, what you see is the other party's selfishness and double standards, even if you can make the marriage life run normally with one person's ability, you will still gain psychological imbalance in the other party's selfishness and double standard life posture, so you feel that there is no way to hold the marriage, so you are tired of the relationship. At this time, you will ignore the other person's outstanding appearance and think that this relationship only gives you tiredness. In this case, you may feel that you are not happy in your married life at all, but you are complaining too much about your partner. or in the end, it will be exchanged for a divorce.
4) Although husband and wife are the core of married life, in addition to being nourished by love, people also need the support of family and friendship, which means that human affection is also a part of life that needs to be faced. Unfortunately, some people are accustomed to tying their lover to the waistband of their trousers, and will strictly interfere with their lover's normal communication at the level of human sophistication, in addition to that, they also have a bad relationship with their lover's family and friends, in this case, the lover will have the grievance of being isolated. At this time, if the relationship between the husband and wife cannot be more harmonious, the person who is disciplined will feel that the married life is boring, and thus have the idea of divorce. For this reason, in the process of managing a marriage, it is not only necessary to give the other half of the freedom appropriately, but also to handle the relationship with the other party's relatives and friends.
Although you and your ex-wife are the result of knowing each other on a blind date, after you finalize your relationship, you also get married on the premise that you have too much sense of identity with each other. Just because your ex-wife can't be too satisfied with you in terms of appearance, you haven't been able to show your sincerity in this relationship. Until your current wife comes along, you feel that your marriage with your ex-wife is a mistake at all, so you have failed your ex-wife and your children. After actually marrying your current wife, you begin to think about your ex-wife's goodness in the face of her various behaviors in life that make you look unaccustomed. Just ask: If your current wife is in a virtuous state after marriage, will you still miss your ex-wife?Looking at you from this perspective: isn't it selfish?
Nowadays, it is basically impossible for you and your ex-wife to remarry, so you don't need to immerse yourself in the memories of the past and regret it often, but to rationally analyze whether the relationship between you and your current wife can be exchanged for a long-term life even if it is a match. If you feel that your married life with your current wife can go on, please manage it carefully, otherwise please divorce rationally. You need to understand the truth: everyone will have advantages and disadvantages, not only enjoy the advantages of the other, but also learn to accept the shortcomings of the other party. Know that you are not a perfect person, so don't expect to have a perfect partner. When choosing a marriage partner, there must be a focus, as long as the other party can fulfill the part you value more, the other party is a qualified lover for you.
Editor's note: It is human nature to yearn for good things and to have a good result in the things we experience, but we also need to understand that everything has cause and effect, and we need to bear the corresponding price for our actions. If you didn't study hard when you went to school, but you hoped to be admitted to your dream university during the college entrance examination, do you think it's possible?If you have a free and casual attitude at work, but you want to be promoted every time, do you think it is possible?If you can't manage your heart in the emotional field, but you want your other half to die for you, do you think it's possible?
At this time, there is no need to immerse yourself in the so-called selective mistakes, but while learning from the lessons, let yourself try not to continue to make mistakes in the same type of things in your future life. Unfortunately, many people are experiencing labor pains, all kinds of reflections and regrets, and after surviving the labor pains, it is easy to interpret the scars and forget the pain.
Marriage **from the Internet, **unrelated)