Wen Flower House
What is the manifestation of a woman attracting a man?
Can you make the other party spend money, or can you make the other party shush and ask for warmth?Or is it that the other party's eyes can show appreciation, and the other party is willing to spend more money to pursue?
Actually, it's not accurate.
Attraction is divided into short-term attraction and long-term attraction.
It's easy to attract a person in the short term, and a woman who looks good or is unique in a certain aspect can make a man pursue it.
However, the pursuit at this time does not last long, and the other party will not pay too much.
A woman who is really strongly attracted to a man will definitely make the other party pay for a long time, and it can be said that she can always get the attention of the other party and make the other party never forget.
Such women often have one characteristic - not relying on men.
From a psychological point of view, they are also strongly attractive, and to explain the reason, we must start with two psychological effects.
The Matthew Effect: Love flows to women with plenty of "resources".
There is a common phenomenon in the marriage market.
There is no shortage of suitors of the opposite sex for a good-looking woman, a woman with a good family background can attract a better partner, and when a person lacks nothing, he will have more.
This is the embodiment of the "Matthew effect", which refers to the phenomenon that the strong get stronger and the weak get weaker.
Resources will always go to better people.
Take bidding as an example, if a large enterprise bids for bids, and there are many companies bidding at the same time, the company will also choose a more famous and stronger job, and the strong alliance will always give people a feeling of 1+1 2.
The reason why a woman who does not spend men's money can attract the opposite sex is not because of their excellence, but because of the self-confidence that naturally arises when they are excellent.
They don't care about the contribution of the opposite sex, and they don't take the opposite sex too seriously.
Spending 10,000 and 100,000 for them may get similar evaluations, they care more about their feelings, and they want to pursue the people they care about.
In their spare time, they will not try to please their other half and gain each other's approval by pandering, but will spend more time to achieve themselves, such as studying, beautifying, and chasing dramas to please themselves.
It's not that such women don't care about money, but that they already have a lot of them, or that they are satisfied with what they have.
The message to men is: I'm fine alone, and you'll be better off when you get me.
The reason is similar to that men with successful careers are more attractive to women.
Men with successful careers may not be able to shout every day, nor can they be on call, because they have their own jobs and their own independent living space.
However, the mere fact that resources are more abundant can make many women extremely inclusive.
Only if people do not lack anything, the giving of others will not become a kind of charity, and the more abundant and independent the resources, the more independent the woman will be able to attract the opposite sex for a long time.
The Veblen Effect: The Value Propositions in Love
It's a terrible thing to be defined by someone else.
The value of some women is defined by men, to be precise, by the time and money that men pay.
is like Zhao Jingyu in the popular TV series "Thirty Only".
Liang Zhengxian gave her a bag of 20,000 yuan, so her payment during this period is worth 20,000 yuan;Liang Zhengxian gave her a house of more than 1 million, so her companionship over the years is worth more than 1 million.
found that no, her personal value was completely due to Liang Zhengxian's efforts, because she did not have the ability to "mark the price" for herself.
This is a typical manifestation of the "Veblen effect".
The Veblen effect was originally applied to economics, where economists found that the higher the price of a commodity, the more consumers wanted to buy.
People need to buy more products to show their economic strength, and they also need to get satisfaction from these goods.
So, how do people "price" for themselves?
The answer is self-proof.
A woman who does not rely on men does not pin all her hopes on men, nor does she need to rely on men to live, and she does not need men to participate in improving her life.
At this time, their value is given to themselves, because they can give themselves everything, and they are priceless.
When you take someone else's, then you have to be controlled by someone else.
This is not to say that even if you are in love or pursued, you can't enjoy the good of men, this is telling you that only when you have the ability to have it, then you can take the good of others for granted.
The better you are, the more others are willing to pay for you, the more unwilling you are to take the initiative to spend men's money, and the more men feel that you are worth cherishing.
Especially when a woman can pay attention to herself, self-love can make a person more attractive.
Yishu wrote in "Xi Bao": "To be a woman, you have to make it like a painting, don't make a piece of clothing, it has been tried and tried by a man, but no one buys it, the trial is old, and it is difficult to sell it at a 50% discount." ”
A woman who can become a painting will be hung on the wall to watch, so that the man will be willing to pay for her, and she can also take care of it afterwards and wipe the dust regularly.
But a woman who can only become clothes, the list of high-quality authors is at risk of being angry at any time, and once she gets older, she is easy to be replaced.
The difference lies in one's own value.
The more expensive a painting is, the easier it is to become a collector's item;No matter how delicate the clothes are, it is difficult to keep them for a hundred years.
The path that a woman who can be cherished will choose is not how to cater to men and please them, but how to improve herself and become a better version of herself.
When you become a better version of yourself and no longer need to rely on others to live, and your value is defined by yourself, then the attraction can always exist.
After all, only a woman who does not spend men's money has the ability to achieve self-fulfillment.
What really impresses men is not their disdain for money, but their value for themselves and the outstanding ability they show in the process of achieving themselves.
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Today's topic: Are you willing to let a man support you for the rest of your life?
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