In today's society, there is nothing more worrying than the education of children. Whether it is ancient or modern, children hope that their children can become talents as soon as possible. As early as 2000, Zhuangzi had a discussion on family education in his "Zhuangzi The World". It is said that the son of Wei Guogong is short-tempered and short-tempered, and King Wei called his husband to his side and wanted him to reform his son. However, in the face of Wang Sun's prestige, he felt very uneasy, so he went to ask Yu Boyu and said that this matter was very important to him. Yan He asked"The prince was a violent man, and if he was not disciplined, he would be a curse in the future. However, if I had taught him a lesson, he would probably have killed me in a fit of rage. Yu Boyu said: "Guard, guard, guard." Outwardly, you have to behave meekly so that you can make him feel intimate. What we have to do is to get closer to him and make him feel that he is not an enemy with him, so that he can fully trust him. "What happened to Yan Yan is exactly what troubles many contemporary parents, who are afraid that their children will go astray in the future if they are not well educated;However, if the education of children is too strict, they will develop a rebellious mentality, which will cause damage to both parents and themselves. However, Lu Boyu put forward several opinions: First, we must do a good job of ourselves, which is the first step in education. However, many parents tend to confuse the order of education and fail to get the first steps right. If you are a parent who behaves inappropriately, is lazy and slack, and says that you want to study hard, but you can't do it, then your children can only imitate their parents. Therefore, parents should first lead by example and lead by example. For example, to keep children away from mobile phones, parents should first put their mobile phones aside, develop good Xi of reading and exercising, and let them naturally follow their parents and actively participate in meaningful activities.
Lu Boyu also put forward some very valuable opinions to Yan Fu in the "Analects": "The form is not for it, the meaning is for it, and it is for it!."When teaching students, they should be conforming to make them feel familiar. In other words, it is necessary to close the gap between the two sides, so that the other party feels that they are not hostile to the other party, so as to gain the trust of the other party. However, most parents always criticize and punish their children with a condescending attitude, trying to reform their children quickly. In fact, you don't have to be friends with him, but at least he doesn't reject your teachings. If you have the heart to resist, no matter how well you explain the reason, they will not accept you. Therefore, "form is not enough" is the first stage and the most critical part of building a harmonious and harmonious family. Going on to talk about "the heart is not peaceful", it is necessary to have a harmonious heart and be able to tolerate the mistakes of children. Many parents are impatient, a little mistake will be beaten and scolded, the whole family is filled with a nervous, scared atmosphere, children are full of fear and resistance to parents, powerless to fight, have to use silence to express their dissatisfaction. In other words, there is a lack of spiritual cooperation between parents and children, and the two are not moving in opposite directions, but in opposite directions. In this case, teaching is doomed.
In fact, the relationship between parents and children is to accompany each other and grow together. If you can't enter the world of your children, and you can't make your children be led by their parents from the bottom of their hearts, then one-way parenting is meaningless. Zhuangzi said: "The greatest regret of a family is not that it has no money, but that it messes up the order of its children's upbringing. "As soon as you come up, you will be reprimanded, you will be taught a lesson, and you will be scolded, it is really too ignorant to be a parent.
However, the story of Zhuangzi is not over here. He also used the mouth of Yu Boyu to teach students a lot of practical teaching methods. A later article will explain this method in detail.
Zhuangzi's Laozi provides us with a major topic on family education: the order in which it should not be ignored. Parents should start by example and set a good example. Then, take a gentle, intimate approach to teaching, reduce distance from your children, and develop confidence in each other. During this time, you should have a kind heart and be able to tolerate your children's mistakes. Only in this way can our parent-child relationship be built so that young children are nurtured from the bottom of their hearts so that they can be their own masters. Parents should strive to improve their own quality and strive to create an atmosphere suitable for their children's development.