——【Preface】—
The Chinese have traditionally paid attention to "helping others for pleasure" and "being kind and charitable", which are the virtues of the Chinese nation. However, "when good things are done, there will be disasters", too much, everything needs to be done in moderation.
So, in life, we need to learn to distinguish between good things that should be helpful and what needs to be appropriately rejected. In particular, the "good things" in the following situations should not be overdone.
——[Benefiting people must first understand their own way]—
Mr. Lee is the father of a child with congenital heart disease. For the sake of his child's illness, he was forced to quit his stable job, and his family's life was in trouble.
Mr. Li asked his wife to take the children back to his hometown to live, while he stayed in the city to work. Despite the hard work, he still dedicates as much of his meager salary as possible to support some people in need.
One day, Mr. Li met a homeless man on the road and asked him for money. Mr. Li was very sympathetic to his plight, so he gave him all the few dollars he had left.
The man disappeared without a trace as soon as he got the money, without expressing any gratitude at all. It was only then that Mr. Li realized that his kindness had been taken advantage of.
A few days later, Mr. Li saw an elderly man with a disability playing the piano on the side of the road to collect donations. The old man's piano sound was sad and moving, and Mr. Li couldn't help but shed tears. He originally wanted to give the old man some money, but then changed his mind.
He inquired about the old man's recent living situation and learned that the old man lived alone and had no children to take care of him, and his life was extremely difficult. Mr. Li took the initiative to contact the local social welfare agency and applied for nursing and living subsidies for the elderly.
The old man was thrilled and repeatedly declined Mr. Li's generosity. Through the contrast between these two experiences, Mr. Lee gradually understood the importance of the way of graciousness.
When we help others, we should not be tempted to give out of sympathy, which can lead to the abuse of kindness.
True kindness requires careful consideration of the other person's situation and needs, distinguishing between those who are in desperate need of help and those who are likely to abuse kindness.
While offering help, you also need to guide the other person to build self-esteem and independence, rather than relying on the handouts of others for a long time.
——[Stay away from the idle people]—
In life, we meet all kinds of people, some who are diligent and hardworking, while others choose to be idle and indulge in pleasures. For the latter, we need to keep a clear understanding and resolutely not provide them with any help.
I have a classmate named Li Ming. He is a typical loafer, listless every day, unwilling to do anything. He often took time off, missed work, and didn't Xi even study well in school.
I tried to persuade him, telling him that the consequences could be serious, but he always wouldn't listen. In addition to Li Ming, I have met several other people who are also idle.
I have a cousin who has just started working, but he always tries to shirk his responsibilities and often leaves early and arrives late. I advised him to correct his behavior, but he got angry and thought I was trying to make things difficult for him.
There is also an old classmate who has been living on the support of his family for a long time, never thinking about starting his own business or finding a job, and doing nothing all day. I didn't listen to him, and I wanted me to introduce him to work.
In the face of these idle people, I know that I must not help them continue to live this life. This will make them develop the problem of dependence and waste social resources. I must remain sober and independent and resolutely refuse their demands.
What I want to say through this is that we must recognize who is wasting time and resources, and who are truly contributing to society.
We should not offer any support to those who are idle because they are not willing to change their way of life and will only rely on others for help.
It is the responsibility of each of us to take responsibility for ourselves and not to expect others to save us. Only when we have a clear goal and a strong determination can we move towards success.
Therefore, let us always keep a clear head, bravely face the challenges of life, and constantly strive for a better self.
——[Not miserable and other people's family affairs]—
Miss Li recently encountered a headache for her. Her friend Xiaohua decided to divorce her husband on the grounds that she had been on discord for a long time. Miss Li has always thought that Xiaohua and her husband have a good relationship, and this sudden decision surprised her.
Out of concern, she took the initiative to contact Xiaohua's husband, hoping to mediate the relationship between the two. Miss Li talked to Xiaohua's husband many times and expressed her concerns. She thinks that Xiaohua and her husband have a good relationship and should not choose to break up easily.
She persuaded her husband to be more considerate of Xiaohua and cherish this relationship. However, the husband seemed very indifferent and ignored Miss Li's suggestion. Miss Lee couldn't understand his reaction and thought that he didn't cherish the marriage too much.
Later, Miss Li talked to Xiaohua again, hoping that she could think calmly and give her husband a chance. She believes that relationship problems can be solved through communication. But Xiaohua cried, and she choked up and confided in Miss Li about the misfortunes in her married life in the past few years.
It turns out that the husband is not only short-tempered, but also often refuses to be intimate with Xiaohua for various reasons. Xiaohua has endured it for many years and has long been disheartened. This made Miss Li realize the complexity of the issue, and she didn't really know the real situation between the couple.
With her own speculation and one-sided words, she put pressure on both sides. This not only did not play a mediating role, but only exacerbated Xiaohua's pain.
Miss Li felt very guilty, she thought she was helping her friend, but she brought new troubles to her life. So she decided to chat with Xiaohua alone and listen to her real thoughts.
She didn't give any more advice, but expressed concern and support. She now understands that there are times when listening is more rewarding than giving advice. Because everyone has the right to decide how to live for themselves, and no one else can replace it.
Miss Li understood the truth that "it is better to have no intention to help than to have no intention to help". She will learn to take a step back and give her friends more space instead of imposing her own "busyness".
——[Moderately helpful]—
In life, we often encounter people who are in trouble and come to us for help. When faced with a friend's or stranger's request for help, we can do what we can to help. But in the face of our closest relatives, we must draw a clear line, and we cannot replace everything with everything.
My cousin Su Su is preparing for the college entrance examination. In order to alleviate the pressure of her Xi school, my uncle and aunt often took care of her household chores and even negotiated directly with the teacher.
At first, Su Su felt deeply concerned by her parents. But gradually, she began to rely on her parents for everything, and she no longer took the initiative to think about how to solve the problem. By the third year of high school, Su Su became lazy and incompetent, which seriously affected his Xi.
I tried many times to persuade my aunts and uncles to give Su Su room to grow, such as reducing the number of times she thought for her and encouraging her to solve problems independently.
But they always think that this will reduce Susu's Xi pressure. Until one day, Susu didn't perform well in the exam, and my aunt was so worried that she couldn't sleep at night, and she also had physical problems.
This made my uncle and aunt realize the seriousness of the problem. They took my advice, reduced their over-concern for Susu, and gave her room to think independently.
At first, Susu was a little uncomfortable, but with the encouragement of her parents, she regained her interest in learning Xi and took the initiative to think about how to improve. This not only relieves the pressure on parents, but also greatly improves Susu's Xi learning effect. In the end, Su Su was admitted to the ideal university as she wished.
This incident made me realize that helping others requires moderation. Over-substitution will only lead to a loss of independence and initiative. Appropriate help can stimulate the interest of Xi, but we must also keep the bottom line and not help unprincipledly.
In this way, we can benefit those who are in need, but we can also avoid causing them to harm themselves through over-dependence. Love between family members needs to be maintained with reason and wisdom.
Excessive concern is often counterproductive, causing a loss of self-confidence and motivation to grow. But moderate help can stimulate inner potential and make people more confident and self-reliant on the road to growth.
Therefore, when we are faced with the requests of our loved ones, we must keep a clear head, persuade them to think independently, and give appropriate guidance when necessary. Only in this way can our love become the driving force for the growth of others and not become a stumbling block.
——[Conclusion]—
In this world, we need to do many good things to improve the lives of others and make the world a better place. However, in the process, we must also remind ourselves to act in moderation, wisely, and in moderation.
Otherwise, overly enthusiastic or impulsive behavior may have negative consequences. Therefore, we must not only adhere to good intentions when doing things, but also have sufficient insight and judgment. In this way, it is possible for our good deeds to truly play their due role and be widely recognized and supported.