I have spent more than 20 years in the personnel department. Looking back on the past, it seems that I can still see the young man who has just stepped into the unit, full of enthusiasm and full of expectations for the future. However, the years are not forgiving, and in the blink of an eye, I am already standing on the threshold of 53 years old.
The decision to retire early is not a rash move, but a deliberate choice. After 30 years of work, it stands to reason that I should have the right to choose an easier career. However, the promotion mechanism in the authorities regarded me as an outsider, and my heart was as cold as ice.
I remember that at that time, I had high hopes for the leaders to fulfill their promise and put me on the list of first-class principal staff members. However, when the list was announced, I was stolen the limelight by the old section chief who was about to retire. At that moment, I felt deeply unjust, and the passion in my heart was extinguished.
After a month of silence, I decided not to put up with this injustice anymore. I submitted an application for early retirement to the bureau's party group. It was not an easy decision, because leaving the system meant that I would lose a stable income and a comfortable life. However, I can't accept that my efforts are ignored and that my efforts become a stepping stone to someone else's promotion.
I retired early, not only because I had worked for 30 years, but also because I was disappointed with the system. I firmly believe that even without the title of Principal Staff Member I, I can live a good life. If I choose to stay, I will be promoted to a first-level principal staff member, and then according to the regulations, I will have the opportunity to be promoted to a fourth-level investigator after holding the position for 7 years. However, such a future is just a dream for me.
The deputy division level has always been my ultimate goal, but now, this goal has been shattered ahead of schedule. Between the second and first level of the Principal Officer, I don't think retirement makes much difference to me. So, I made a decision to leave this place that had fascinated me.
Although this choice made me feel relieved, my heart was full of helplessness. I have given too much for this unit, dedicated the most beautiful years, but I felt indifference and injustice at the last moment. In the days I left, all kinds of memories of the past came flooding back to my heart, like a picture scroll, and the pictures were clearly visible.
When I first came to the unit, I was so longing and enthusiastic. At that time, we were all a group of young people, dreaming of being able to leave our mark on this big machine. Working overtime again and again, we seem to be the screws of this organization, closely connected together, and jointly building a better future.
However, as the years passed, the former passions and dreams gradually dimmed. Perhaps, this is the so-called maturity. We have struggled within the system for most of our lives, but in the end we have found that there is an insurmountable gap between what we thought was our ideal and what we actually did.
Early retirement made me feel like an abandoned child, leaving behind a warm family and facing a bright future. Some people say I'm escapist and don't stick to it. Perhaps, but I don't want to live the same life here, immersed in endless mediocrity, I want to give myself a chance to find new possibilities and redefine the value of life.