Note: This article is based on the original book of "Xiaomin's Family", and **is taken from the TV series "Xiaomin's Family".
When we look back on Liu Xiaojie's emotional journey full of twists and turns, we deeply realize that what she experienced was not as simple as "encountering the wrong person".
Liu Xiaojie not only has outstanding appearance, outstanding temperament, and frank personality, but also has a graduate degree. However, in terms of marriage, she suffered many failures, which made her mother Wang Sumin very angry, so she slapped her hard, Liu Xiaojie's behavior was too much.
In the original work of "Xiaomin's Family", Liu Xiaojie's three "in-laws" seem to be dismissive of her. At first, Qian Feng's mother had deep feelings for Liu Xiaojie, but unfortunately, this favor was eventually taken away by Liu Xiaojie himself.
Xu Zheng's mother was particularly disgusted with Liu Xiaojie, she resolutely opposed Liu Xiaojie's entry into the Xu family, in order to destroy the relationship between Xu Zheng and Liu Xiaojie, Xu Zheng's mother adopted a strategy of both soft and hard, almost to the point of madness.
From a public point of view, the reason why Xu Zheng's mother can't accept Liu Xiaojie is that she has been divorced and is older than Xu Zhengda;When I first read the book "Xiaomin's Family", I felt that Xu Zheng's mother was too indifferent and insisted on destroying her son's happy life, and her way of thinking was too conservative to change.
When we re-examined the original work of "Xiaomin's Family", we realized that Xu Zhengma's dissatisfaction with Liu Xiaojie was not just because she was a "second-married girl". Although Xu Zhengma's thinking is heart-wrenching, it is very realistic.
Liu Xiaojie didn't realize that the three major problems she faced were the real reason why she was resolutely unwilling to marry the Xu family.
1. Climb to the top.
Liu Xiaojie's three romances were all above Gao Pan.
In the original work of "Xiaomin's Family", Liu Xiaojie married Tong Bing for the first time. Tong Bing was born in Beijing, and his family's economic conditions were quite good, but Liu Xiaojie, as an outsider, did not really value him despite paying a down payment and buying a property in Beijing.
Tong Bing's parents have a strong sense of superiority and are not too interested in the "foreign sister" Liu Xiaojie, and even Wang Sumin is despised by his in-laws.
In this kind of family environment, marrying into such a family will undoubtedly put you in embarrassment, but Liu Xiaojie hastily married Tong Bing because they were both keen to play games, which produced an unexpected spark in the game.
After getting married, I found out that Liu Xiaojie and Tong Bing didn't actually live together, and they had almost no other ways to communicate with each other except playing games, and there was almost no intersection in spirit.
In the original work of "Xiaomin's Family", Tong Bing took advantage of his superior conditions and did not care about Liu Xiaojie's emotions, and even before he officially divorced Liu Xiaojie, he was ready for the "next family".
Tong Bing's betrayal was supposed to awaken Liu Xiaojie's innocence, but surprisingly, Liu Xiaojie, who re-entered the single in his thirties, did not learn a lesson from it and was more cautious about his feelings, but chose to "flash love" Xu Zheng.
Xu Zheng is three to four years younger than Liu Xiaojie, handsome, has a successful career, and can "overwhelm" Liu Xiaojie in all aspects, Liu Xiaojie is aware of the gap between himself and Xu Zheng, but still does not hesitate to jump into love.
Xu Zheng's parents made it clear that the Xu family was dissatisfied with Liu Xiaojie and appointed Xu Zheng's cousin as a mediator to persuade Liu Xiaojie to leave. My cousin's words were very clear, she said: "You have experienced divorce more than Xu Zhengda, so the two of you are not synchronized and coordinated at the starting line. ”
Liu Xiaojie fought back, saying: "There are more and more cases of out-of-sync now, but not all of them are doing quite well. ”
My cousin expressed this opinion: "The situation is quite good at the moment, and in the next five to ten years, women will be older than men. Things in the past are so complicated, do you think Xu Zheng can still treat you like before?I know my brother, his heart is not yet fully settled and he is still a child. He used to like little sisters, but now he has a big sister to experience a new feeling, and after a while, he may change back to a little sister again. As a woman, I can understand how you feel. Xu Zheng is not only young and handsome, but he is also very keen on work, but in the process of finding a male partner, you need to have enough ability and patience. ”
Although the cruelty is revealed in the words, the sentence at the end reflects the real situation.
Women's arrogant attitudes often make it difficult for them to control men, and the mismatch between Liu Xiaojie and Xu Zheng is the main reason why their romance is hindered.
In the original work of "Xiaomin's Family", it is described that although Liu Xiaojie's working environment is stable, the chances of promotion are not great. His workplace was like warm water boiled for a frog, making him feel tasteless and give up. Although Liu Xiaojie has a graduate degree, spending several years in such a work environment has made his life more peaceful and decadent.
In his thirties, Liu Xiaojie was constantly busy in the workplace, and it was always difficult to maintain stabilityXu Zheng's working environment is quite decent, with a full house and an engaged relationship with the chairman's daughter, which makes Liu Xiaojie lose very completely.
Chen Zhuo had already reminded Liu Xiaomin in a tactful way, and he expressed this opinion: "If Xiaojie doesn't go to him, their families will all have their eyes on him." Xiao Jie has been divorced before, and his parents may not have a good impression of him in the first place. But frankly, it's more of a financial issue. If Xiaojie is a billionaire woman, you will find that no matter how many times you get divorced, there will be no problem. ”
Liu Xiaojie's failure was not because of the "divorce", but because of her comprehensive conditions, in the eyes of Xu Zheng's parents, there was nothing worth taking action at all.
Liu Xiaojie mistakenly thought that as long as her attitude was humble, filial and respectful, she could win the favor of her "future in-laws". She even wanted to prepare a meeting gift for Xu Zheng's entire family, but unfortunately, she didn't even meet Xu Zheng's parents.
In the original work of "Xiaomin's Family" there is such a description:
As soon as Liu Xiaojie closed her eyes, she could understand that her parents were against it in large part because she was older and had been married. It was at this moment that Liu Xiaojie felt deep remorse because her first marriage was too aggressive. Divorce is like putting a ** label on her for her. In the eyes of many older generations, many middle-aged young people also hold the same view, believing that the treatment after divorce can only be reduced. This made Xiao Jie feel very sad. ”
Liu Xiaojie suffered defeat in the "first battle" and felt very lost. But she didn't know that she had lost her way. Instead of trying to please the other person, it is better to improve yourself first and win the appreciation and respect of the other person, which is what a smart woman should do.
2. Desire to get married.
Liu Xiaojie is eager to marry Xu Zheng?
After Liu Xiaojie learned the news that her ex-husband Tong Bing was about to get married, she began to clearly hint to Xu Zheng that she hoped that he could arrange the wedding as soon as possible. Liu Xiaojie doesn't want to fall behind in her marriage, especially her ex-husband.
It is described in the original work of "Xiaomin's Family":
In a recent meeting with Xu Zheng, Liu Xiaojie seemed to inadvertently mention some things. Her words are full of skill, often critical of colleagues in the unit. For example, when you see how Yan Hongyu educates children, those regulations may bind the child's growth. If I have children in the future, I can't educate them like this;If the child is dressed too warmly, my child may be affected by the cold in the future;Are boys different from girls?I prefer to have a girl because children represent the future. I hope Xu Zheng can understand. ”
However, Liu Xiaojie's "wholeheartedly", Xu Zheng avoided talking about it, and his left ear went in and out of his right ear, this attitude actually reflected his depth and seriousness about this relationship.
Liu Xiaojie's heart was full of anxiety, she didn't dare to say it clearly, so she revealed her plans to Xu Zheng's friends. Due to Liu Xiaojie's "forced marriage", Xu Zheng had to send Liu Xiaojie roses and propose to her.
What Liu Xiaojie should understand most is not Xu Zheng's parents' attitude towards her, but Xu Zheng's firm attitude towards her.
Not long after Xu Zheng fell in love, she was eager to meet her parents and prepare to get married, and Xu Zheng's parents were reasonable in their concerns about her.
The love affair between Liu Xiaojie and Xu Zheng is often because of their appearance and fall in love at first sight. Without knowing enough about each other, they chose to fall in love or live together. Although their romance is free to choose, in marriage, they must be cautious.
Xu Zheng's parents have a deep understanding of their son, understand that his personality is not yet stable, and their liking for Liu Xiaojie is only a momentary impulse;Liu Xiaojie also belongs to that impulsive type of love, and her first marriage experience is called "flash marriage". But when she and Xu Zheng fell in love, she desperately wanted to enter the palace of marriage. In the face of such two people, you should really spend more time with each other, and then consider whether to get married.
Both Liu Xiaojie and Xu Zheng should calm down and think deeply about the lifestyle they are truly pursuing.
After Liu Xiaojie experienced an unsatisfactory marriage, he should be more careful in handling emotional problems, rather than rushing to marry into the Xu family.
If the two people confess to their families after their relationship has stabilized, the effect may be even more significant.
Xu Zheng's parents didn't want to meet her because she still didn't have a proper understanding of the relationship. Despite knowing that she would encounter many difficulties, she secretly lived with Xu Zheng and had children. This irresponsible behavior not only wasted her life, but also led to the misfortune of innocent children.
3. The door of the family.
is different from the TV series version, in the original work of "Xiaomin's Family", Liu Xiaojie and Xu Zheng's hometown is located in the same city, and the distance is not very far, they met in Beijing, but the "influence" of their hometown cannot be ignored.
In smaller places, gossip and scandals are more likely to occur, and Liu Xiaojie's "maiden family" always can't help but ask.
Locally, all three mothers and daughters have gone through divorce and are regarded as a "legendary" family.
Wang Sumin chose to divorce because her husband was addicted to alcohol and domestic violence. Wang Sumin would rather raise her two daughters alone than endure the grievances brought by marriage, and did not look for the so-called "stepwife" for the rest of her life.
Regarding Liu Xiaomin's divorce, this is undoubtedly headline news. Because Liu Xiaomin's ex-husband is Jin Bo, the child of the factory director, the Jin family also has a prominent history. In Jin Bo's generation, Liu Xiaomin's divorce seems to have the meaning of "favoring the rich and hating the poor" in the eyes of the outside world.
Ms. Wang had insisted that Ms. Liu marry Ms. Jin, who she did because she was concerned about Ms. Jin's family background. With the support and help of the Jin family, Wang Sumin successfully opened his own shop, and this strategy of "climbing the dragon and attaching the phoenix" has damaged the family's reputation.
In Liu Xiaojie's life, she chose a man with superior conditions as her partner, but later chose to divorce. The fates of the two sisters, Liu Xiaomin and Liu Xiaojie, are so similar that people can't help but think more.
The Xu family resolutely opposes the Liu family's family education method, and the strong Xu Zheng's mother will never allow Liu Xiaojie, who grew up in such a family atmosphere, to become Xu Zheng's wife.
Moreover, Xu Zheng and Lei Lei have had a doll agreement since they were young, and Lei Lei's father serves as the chairman, and Xu Zheng's family can establish such a wide range of social networks, which is enough to prove the complex background of the Xu family.
Although the Xu family did a good job in choosing marriage and love, Liu Xiaojie didn't want to face up to the facts and insisted on clashing with Xu Zheng head-on. After being verbally insulted by members of the Xu family many times, she still chose to maintain an unmarried cohabitation with Xu Zheng, which was too frivolous and difficult to win the respect of others.
In the original work of "Xiaomin's Family", Chen Zhuo said frankly to Xu Zheng: "I can only tell you about it, and I, Xiaojie and Xiaojie's sister can't say it." In the eyes of your family, you and Xiaojie are like sailing against the current, if you don't move forward, you will retreat, and you will lower your social status. Well, actually, what a marriage counts, how many years older it counts, it's all excuses. The leader's daughter is different. ”
Only Chen Zhuo really understood the reason behind why Liu Xiaojie couldn't enter the Xu family. In the eyes of the members of the Xu Zheng family, Liu Xiaojie, who had no obvious advantages, actually lowered the social status of the Xu family.
Please mention it at the end of the article.
In the original work of "Xiaomin's Family", Xu Zheng's mother resolutely opposed Liu Xiaojie's entry into the house, and her behavior was correct.
Despite the strong opposition from their families, Xu Zheng and Liu Xiaojie were unable to withstand the pressure in the end, and the two chose to break up after being exhausted.
Xu Zheng quickly finds a girlfriend abroad and marries her, but he never determines that Liu Xiaojie is the ideal partner in his heart, which makes Liu Xiaojie's one-sided wish very embarrassing.
Xu Zheng is not just a "mom and dad baby", he is not so dedicated in terms of feelings. Liu Xiaojie ruined his reputation because of such a man, and even almost ruined the rest of his life, which is really not worth it.
In the book, Liu Xiaojie got the "endorsement" of Qian Feng, he didn't care about her previous marriage and children, and really wanted to marry her, but in real life, only Xu Normal is the real rich man.
Liu Xiaojie", it's time to regain sobriety.
Instead of pursuing a higher male partner, it is better to cultivate yourself first, after all, her sister Liu Xiaomin has also experienced a marriage failure, and she is more sober than Liu Xiaojie.
After the divorce, Liu Xiaomin did not immediately look for a new partner, but concentrated on improving his professional ability. In the original work of "Xiaomin's Family", Liu Xiaomin has significant achievements in traditional Chinese medicine, she is a well-respected deputy chief physician with a high reputation. Only if she is good enough can she be matched with equally good men.
In the process of choosing a partner, Liu Xiaomin very wisely chose Chen Zhuo, who was equivalent to his own conditions, and the strength of the two was equal, which was also the reason for their deep relationship.
Liu Xiaojie should have understood earlier that this is the most heart-wrenching fact.