In relationships, there is a term called "marginal people".
It refers to a group that is ignored, under-noticed, ostracized by the mainstream, and not included.
Many people are afraid of being marginalized, which means "isolation, lack of access to good resources" and so on.
Growing up, we all wanted to be the ones in the middle of the stage, and the audience applauded when we said it casually.
Reality always gives us a lot of confusion, no matter how capable we are, how good we are at tossing, at most we will stay in the "middle" for a while, not for a lifetime. Marginalization seems to be an irreversible trend.
Don't worry, "marginal" is a group concept relative to mainstream society.
Everything is relative, and when it comes to you, it becomes absolute, that is, it is bound in its own cocoon.
As a person in his 70s, once you are over 50 years old, you must take the initiative to be on the edge and don't be surprised.
Passive marginalization, no retreat.
Looking back on our life journey, from rural to urban, from county town to big city, from local to out-of-town, from farming to part-time work, from taking care of ourselves, to managing parents and children, from being single to getting married, from not having a house, to buying a few houses, from not owning a car, to driving.
Everything we go through is trying to squeeze ourselves into the crowd and take the main position.
After all, the better the location, the more resources. In the end, they get more benefits. It's just an ordinary unit, with a good location and a high salary. Some special positions have special subsidies.
In the midst of the crowd, we naturally became a large group. In the group, there are classmates, colleagues, friends, relatives, customers, and so on.
Ask yourself, are you really the "leader of the team"?
Someone said, "You are a sheep on the edge." ”
In economic development, there is a "herd effect". The explanation is that a flock of sheep circles around a sheep.
Sheep go to ** to graze, what action, everyone will imitate and follow.
After observing the sheep, the writer "Dongfeng Bao" pointed out that the sheep have a psychological dependence on the head sheep, and it is difficult for the head sheep to move its position.
If a marginal sheep fights with a head sheep, it is mostly the marginal sheep that are injured. After all, the sheep that protect the flock will rise up against it.
Later, most of the sheep chose to settle down and no longer compete with the head sheep.
From the analysis of sheep, we can extend to the law of group change.
At the same time, you're also in your fifties, how much energy are you going to expend on each other with a group of people?
I don't want to be marginalized, I always want to squeeze the middle of the body;In fact, you're going to crash again. For various reasons, you lose your voice, are crushed by others, and are unwilling.
As an ordinary post-70s generation, it would be nice to have a better workplace.
If you are not willing to be ordinary, you have to change jobs, offend the group, and there is a high probability that you will not find a job. Old. This is a fact of life.
Take the initiative to marginalize and retreat to seek progress.
Returning to "grazing", let's look at the sheep that have voluntarily left the flock.
Life was difficult at first, but then, I was able to stand on my own feet.
Maybe you are alone, but you are good at solitude, then you are also a "chicken head".
Be your own master, and you will live comfortably for the rest of your life. Ordinary people also have different wonderful.
People in their fifties allow themselves to be ordinary, and they also allow those around them to be ordinary. A small life, how to live, how to come.
Writer Sun Jirong wrote an article saying that his daughter's grades were average. The parents forced their daughter to go to several tutoring classes to learn some special skills.
My daughter has been pushed many times and her grades are still average. Compared with the children of relatives and friends, they are not even close. I can play the piano, draw, etc., and have passed many levels.
Later, we found out that our daughter likes to applaud others, so her popularity is very good, and her life is very easy.
Holding the ideal of being a sheep and letting yourself wander on the edge, this is the free and easy of middle-aged people;When the position is close to the sheep, take the initiative to get out of the way and allow yourself to go home to treat your grandfather, which is the comfort of the elderly.
Everyone walks to the middle. How big is the middle?
After the age of 50, we are slowly retiring, and we should secretly tell ourselves that it is better to be alone than to be isolated.
Specifically, the following two points should be achieved.
First, let go of your mindset and accept reality.
Existence is justified", since the truth is in front of you and age does not come back, accept it.
Ordinary light is real. You are used to the ordinary life, in the countryside, in the small town, in the county, you can.
At work, you can be arranged to do handymanship.
It can make people bend and stretch. Han Xin and the humiliation between his legs, let alone you and me?
Second, be proactive and not be a bystander.
In the workplace, slowly withdraw from the second line, this is what you do well.
At home, let the child call the shots, you are not the parent, but watch the child grow up, very happy.
Eat, you can go, you can't go, connections are not so important, the body is the most important.
In love, it is enough to have a wife, and more than one person you like is redundant.
If you start your own business and leave it to your children, it's not impossible. Don't wait until you can't walk, and your children haven't picked up the career, and the career is broken, broken.
Take a step back, and the sea will clear;**Heroes, too.
The back waves of the Yangtze River push the front waves, and the front waves fall on the beach.
Since you can't change the past and reverse time, then take the initiative to change yourself and adapt to the present.
After the 70s, we are really hard, many self-made people, many people who are squeezed into the protagonists of the workplace, and many people who have savings. How much power there is, from the middle of the stage to the side, is an inevitable trend in the second half of life.
When we were very old, listening to opera under the stage, we could calmly say, "Once upon a time, I also sang on stage." ”