The home that everyone wants in their hearts is oneA shelter full of warmth.
But some elders will bring you storms and tribulations, they don't know how to love, and they have all kinds of oppressive behaviors, which have a serious adverse impact on the lives of the younger generations.
The whole family is noisy and fighting, everyone only thinks about themselves, the home is not like a home, there is no love in it.
Such elders usually have the following 3 personalities:
Everyone has their own lifestyle and habits, but there are always some elders who think that they have a wealth of "life wisdom" and therefore like to point fingers at home affairs.
These elders interfere too deeply in their children's lives, taking care of how many children they have, where to buy a house, and what their daughters-in-law do.
They think that their experience is enough to support their suggestions and decisions, and this kind of overly "caring" behavior often makes it difficult for family members to have personal space and decision-making.
For the younger generation, such interference can be suffocating and strain.
If you give the right opinion, you will be very proud, and if you give the wrong opinion, you will not admit it.
I grew up in such an environmentBeing always denied and controlled will also make the younger generation weak and dependent, not trusting their own abilities, and it will be difficult to achieve great things in the future.
Later, I also found a partner who loved to control me, and I have been living a life that I can't be myself.
Such elders only care about themselves from a young age, and when taking care of the baby, they mainly focus on their own convenience, and after feeding the food, they feel that their responsibilities have been fulfilled and do not want to pay more care and attention.
Babies often cry unheeded, and over time, they have a permanent impact on the child's psyche.
When they grow up, they either love to cling to others, or they push away those close to them, and they are prone to intimate relationship problems, soThere will be a lot of divorces in this family.
Selfish elders can even calculate their children, for example, if their children have business dealings with their own companies, they even have to cheat and be greedy for their own children, which is chilling.
As they enter the old age, they take the care and dedication of their families for granted, and never give back the love and support.
They see their families as tools to be usedForcefully demanded when needed, and when the other party needed him, he turned a blind eye.
This attitude of blindly taking but not giving makes other family members feel used and unloved, which leads to the gradual alienation of family relations.
Children also have more or less selfish tendencies in relationships, only caring about themselves, no matter how hard their spouses work, and inadvertently learning their parents' attitude towards life.
If you are so selfish at work, it is difficult to achieve great things, you only know how to calculate customers, and it is difficult to gain trust regardless of the interests of the other party, and your life path is crooked.
"Filial piety" is a core virtue in traditional Chinese culture, yet in some families, this requirement of filial piety is over-amplified and distorted.
Some elders use their age, health status or past commitments as an excuse to ask their children to serve them or obey their wishes.
They often use words such as "how much do I pay to you" and "you are not filial" to exert pressureForcing children to do what they want.
This kind of forced filial piety makes the children feel a lot of pressure and fear, which seriously affects the relationship between the two parties.
Because he has raised the other party, the other party should let himself take what he wants, otherwise he is unfilial.
Because there is no love, there is such a heavy sense of giving, otherwise it is natural to pay for the beloved, and there is no saying that no one owes whom.
Children who grow up in this kind of family will also be influenced by their elders, habitually pay for their families in marriage, and feel wronged, often complain and demand from others, and become family members that everyone resents.
Mom will always complain and accuse everyone of not helping her, saying that she will not divorce for the sake of her children, and she will not get married if she knows about it, etc.
A sense of grievanceIt has become a kind of heredity, no one wants to owe it to others, and being a family member with such a person will be very stressful, and you always feel that you are sorry for him and owe him something.
Promote communication: Families should reduce conflict by increasing communication with each other and trying to understand and include everyone's positions and needs.
Draw boundaries: For those who are overly intervening, family members should draw clear boundaries and inform them that respecting individual choices and choices is the foundation of family harmony.
Seek help: If your family relationship is in serious conflict, seek help from a professional, such as a family counselor.
Drawing a line with such an elder is just protecting himself, and he could have done this to you otherwise.
Why didn't he dare to do this to outsiders?Because he knows that the other party will not pay attention to him, the closer he is, the worse the treatment
They are often unaware of their problems and feel that they are doing the right thing, even relatives are calculating, and there is no love in their hearts.
When they make requests, they don't think about you at all, they don't care whether you are tired, hard work, or whether you have enough money, they only care about their own interests.
Such a family isThere is no centripetal forceEveryone thinks only about themselves, even if some of the members want to win over the relationship, it doesn't help.
Elders with personality problems often have a bad lifeI have seen such a rich woman, she has a strong personality, and as long as her husband does not listen to her, she will immediately make a fuss.
The weak husband was frightened at the sight of it, and no longer dared to disobey her, meddle in anything with his children, and firmly control them.
The child was already too bitter to bear, and she didn't feel it, until the child grew up and knew how to resist, and the relationship was a little more balanced.
But the family is still noisy, the mother scolds her daughter for being a princess, and the daughter thinks that her mother is also an old princess, so how can she get along with each other?
Most of these elders lack love, they have not been properly cared for since childhood, and their parents have defects in personality and character, so they can't learn how to love.
Born in such a family, you must know how to grow up in order to change your life, uproot the wrong ideas and ways of getting along with your elders that have been passed on to you, otherwise you will inevitably follow in their footsteps and become the fate of the family!
Parents have an affair and you are also having an affair, your parents are accusatory personalities, you also love to blame others, your parents are opportunistic, you always want to make quick money, how can life be good in this way?