People who haven t been in touch for a long time suddenly contact you, and you can t escape these 3

I've heard a saying:

People will meet 8263563 people in their lives, 39,778 people will greet them, 3,619 people will be familiar with them, and 275 people will be close, but they will eventually dissipate in the sea of people.

No matter how sincere the feelings were and how deep the memories of the past were, there will always be some people who will disperse as they walk.

No longer sharing interesting stories about each other, no longer caring about each other's lives, and even no longer interacting until they lose contact.

Most adult relationships have a shelf life.

Some people are destined to only accompany us for a ride, and then disappear into the sea of people.

Even if there are occasional intersections in the rest of the days, it is difficult to go back to the past.

Like, someone who hasn't contacted you for a long time suddenly contacts you, maybe not to catch up with you, but because of these 3 points.

There is a joke on the Internet that people who have been disconnected for a long time suddenly contact you, either to borrow money or to get married.

I believe that many people have a deep understanding of this.

I remember last year, a classmate from elementary school suddenly chatted with me and asked me, "How are you doing, when are you going home?"”

I haven't had much contact with her since I graduated from elementary school.

Even, I don't know what city she went to college and when she graduated

But none of this affected her greetings with me and the nostalgia for her childhood.

She said that we went to and from class together at that time, and she often came to my house to ask me to do my homework, and on weekends we would dance rubber bands and watch TV dramas together.

After she said this, I did think of a lot of the past, and remembered that the two of us had a particularly beautiful and innocent time.

But she suddenly said: "I'm going to get married eleven, you must come", which instantly pulled me back to reality.

It turns out that it is fake to ask me to catch up, and it is true that I am allowed to follow the elements.

Some people say that all relationships in this world are profitable.

It is true that the relationship between people needs to be maintained, whether it is interests or emotions.

But here's what I want to say:

A long-term and stable relationship must go both ways.

And not unilateral calculations, or paying.

Because, no one is stupid, and no one wants to be the boss of the wrongs and be taken advantage of by all kinds.

And those who are willing to go along or agree to borrow money, either take into account the friendship of the year, or also want to "draw" something from the other party.

More often than not, we can choose to refuse, refuse to maintain a soured relationship.

Some people are separated, some feelings are gone, then let it go, don't entangle, don't reminisce.

Go forward, don't look back, believe that there are scenery in the distance, and more worthy people.

This is not a situation that you often encounter:

A friend who doesn't have much contact with him suddenly sent a message:

The first one in the circle of friends helps me like it;

Please vote for my baby;

Help with the cut, thank you ......

If you refuse, the other party may think that you are stingy and unkind;

If you say yes, then next time, next time, it will still come to you.

What's even more excessive is the kind that doesn't say things directly, but first asks tentatively: "Are you there?"”

You want to skip it, but you're afraid that the other party really has something;You want to reply to him, but you are afraid that the other party will embarrass you.

There was a question on the Internet: "Why do you make others disgusted by posting 'are you in' on WeChat or QQ?".”

One of the answers goes something like this:

Because it is generally said "are you there", there is a high probability that someone will help you with something.

In this case, did you post it, and don't say anything, wait for someone to reply, and then talk about the request, and then there is a high chance that people will be embarrassed to refuse.

If you have something, just explain the situation directly, if you want to help you, I can help you, and I will naturally return to you.

And not a sentence in?And then he stopped talking.

Zhihu @ Savage Growth.

Sometimes, we'd rather get straight to the point than ask, "Are you there?" over and over again”

Because, when we see specific things, we have a clear answer in our hearts, knowing whether we should help or not, and how to help.

And the sentence "are you there" will make us entangled for a long time, not knowing what the other party's intentions are, and will it embarrass us?

Writer Lin Yutang said:

A person with a clean heart, clear thinking, and no superfluous emotions and delusions will bring people a sense of security, because he does not hurt others or hurt himself.

Not causing trouble, not bothering others, in a way, is a vow.

It is the duty of others to help you, but it is the duty not to help you.

Instead of pinning your hopes on others, you should strive to strengthen yourself and improve your problem-solving skills.

If you can handle it yourself, don't bother others at will.

He Jiong said such a passage in "Longing for Life":

It's normal to accept that estrangement between friends is the norm, and although I have a lot of friends, I also care about the people around me.

But I've never had the luxury of keeping anyone around for the rest of my life, because it's hard.

Another important point is that some people come to accompany you for a while.

Once, it was a very good friend.

Later, with their own circles and their own lives, they slowly broke off contact.

But although there is less contact, it does not mean that the relationship is gone.

is like the friendship between Chen Peisi and Zhu Shimao, they once performed sketches together, and they cooperated tacitly and had a good relationship.

As they left the stage of the sketch, the intersection between the two became less and less.

Although they don't have much contact in life, they still think about each other.

In an interview, Zhu Shimao said: "I believe that in the eyes of Chen Peisi, I am his best friend. ”

And Chen Peisi's evaluation of this relationship is: "I will never think about it, but I will never forget it." ”

Some people contact you out of the blue to borrow money from you or ask you for help.

And some people contact you just because they have been silently caring about you and thinking about you.

Maybe because you are no longer in the same city, you are out of the original circle, you have fewer and fewer common topics, and the intersection of life has gradually become nothing.

However, a real relationship will not be defeated by these.

When I see something related to you and think of something related to you, I still can't help but miss it and can't help but connect.

When you are in trouble, he will send you a greeting as soon as possible

When you are emotionally frustrated, he will silently guard you.

In this life, there are not many people who really care about you, think about you, and treat you well.

When you encounter it, you must cherish it with your heart.

There's a new word on the internet called "job aphromate".

Probably this means that after work, maybe because we stayed in a different city, maybe because we were too busy with work, we gradually spent less time with our friends, and gradually there was no contact between the two of us.

Weibo @ Sanlian Life Weekly.

In fact, the phenomenon of "friendliness" is not limited to post-work.

At almost every stage of life, we lose some friends.

or forget each other in the rivers and lakes, or disappear in the sea of people, or lie in the address book.

In the face of people who have not been in touch for a long time but suddenly contact you, the following 3 suggestions may help you:

1.Be clear about the other party's intentions.

Is it looking for you to borrow money, let you do it, and ask you for help, or do you just miss you and want to talk to you?

Of course, the first 3 types may also be in the form of reminiscences, playing emotional cards to you, and then showing their true intentions when they talk to a certain extent.

But no matter which one it is, in the end, you will definitely tell your true purpose, except for those who are simply chatting with you.

After clarifying the true intentions of the other party, you will know how to deal with itIt's up to you whether you say yes or no.

2.A good relationship can withstand rejection.

Everyone has the right to reject others.

If you really can't do it, or don't want to say yes, make a clear no.

Don't think about rejection, whether it will hurt your feelings too much, because a good relationship can withstand rejection.

If the other party breaks up with you because of your rejection, it means that he is not your real friend.

Don't have such a relationship.

3.Don't embarrass yourself at any time.

When dealing with others, we should follow a principle: don't be too yourself.

Do everything according to your own heart, do not please others, and do not embarrass yourself.

If you wronged yourself and accommodating others, you may not get respect, but take it for granted and be unscrupulous.

And a friend who really cares about you and misses you will not make you embarrassed to meet their own interests.

Friends lie in "quality", not in quantity.

Don't spend too much time and energy on people who don't deserve it.

Learn to manage your own circle, weed out those who don't cherish you, and work hard to maintain people who are really good to you.

The rest of your life is expensive, don't waste it by people or things that don't deserve it.

May you say what you want to say, do what you want to do, and love those you want to love.

I hope that every sincerity will not be disappointed, and every kind person can be treated gently.

Encouragement!