A really smart woman has only 9 words in her attitude towards marriage, which is really smart
Someone once described married life as follows: "Getting married is like a game of going around in circles where problems are constantly arisen and problems are constantly being solved." "At first glance, marriage seems simple and straightforward, just a process of union and running-in.
However, it is easy to fall in love and difficult to get along, and all kinds of contradictions in daily life are like mist, some people are difficult to deal with, and some people can deal with them calmly. Living a good life is not easy, and it requires the joint care of wisdom and reason to reconcile the taste of happiness.
For women, if they want to have a good marriage, they need to abandon some worldly concepts and clarify their attitude towards marriage. In real life, truly amazing women have a succinct but profound motto for marriage: don't be serious, don't be weak, don't complain.
The scenes in a classic TV series "Snail House" are impressive. Haiping and her husband Su Chun went to the supermarket to shop together, but due to the failure of the bag storage equipment, Su Chun failed to get back the money deposited. Haiping blamed Su Chun all the way, completely ignoring his explanation, and insisting that he go to the supermarket to recover the money.
Su Chun said helplessly: "It's just a dollar, it's been lost, do you want me to die for this little thing?"However, Haiping did not give up and continued to personally attack Su Chun: "You earn a few dollars in your life, what contribution do you have to this family......”
Su Chun, who was originally mild-tempered, was forced to be unbearable, and announced angrily: "Don't you just want to divorce?"Okay, I agree. With that, he slammed the door and left.
Haiping seems to be upset because of poverty, but in fact she is just too calculating, holding on to things, and finally forcing her husband away.
This is not an isolated case, netizens on social platforms @一木菜 also almost parted ways with her husband because of her obsession with real problems.
This netizen has a strong pursuit of family cleanliness and is well organized at home, but her husband often throws stinky socks around. The two quarreled many times because of this, and once they almost started a fight, but fortunately, their best friend knocked on the door in time to stop them.
Netizens kept complaining to their girlfriends, but their girlfriends said suspiciously: "I have seen him quietly take his socks to the bathroom several times, haven't you noticed, or do you only remember when he didn't put them away?".Only then did netizens suddenly realize that their husbands were throwing socks less and less, but they chose to ignore them.
Since then, netizens rarely care about this issue, and occasionally her husband forgets, so she silently takes the bathroom for him. Gradually, the husband not only consciously got rid of his bad habits, but also reduced the quarrels between the two, and the relationship became better and better.
Lin Yutang wrote in "Life is Just Like This": "The most important thing for us is not to care about truth and falsehood, gain and loss, fame and fortune, high and cheap, poor and rich, but how to live happily and find the poetry of life from it." ”
Marriage is not a battle, and the important thing is not right or wrong, but harmony and comfort. Even the most perfect people make mistakes;No matter how good a partner is, there are imperfections. As long as it does not involve major issues of principle, there is no need to be too careful, the tense strings will break, and too much urgency will lead to madness.
Insisting on one's own opinions because of one's stubbornness, and clinging to one's momentary delusions, may ruin a good marriage.
I once heard a lawyer, Jiang Yanjie, share a matrimonial dispute case he handled.
In this case, the wife was in charge of the housework full-time after marriage, and she hardly allowed her husband to get involved in household chores so that he could work with peace of mind. The wife knows very little about her husband's company and income, and sometimes asks her husband, but only gets one sentence: "I'll give you enough money for what you need, what do you do with so much?"Because the wife had not worked for a long time, she was full of self-confidence, so she stopped asking questions.
However, five years later, the husband's company was planning to go public, and the wife happily cooperated with the relevant procedures. However, once the company was successfully listed, the husband actually filed a divorce lawsuit. It turned out that the husband took the opportunity of the company's listing to deceive his wife into signing a property distribution agreement, leaving only one property for his wife, and completely severing the relationship between his wife and the company's assets.
The wife felt five thunderbolts and told her about her efforts over the years, but the husband said mercilessly: "I have worked hard for so many years, what contribution have you made in the process?"It's already nice to give you a house. "It is a tragedy that a wife who has given everything for the family becomes worthless in the eyes of her husband, which is a tragedy of being in a vulnerable position in marriage.
Lawyer Jiang Yanjie once said in conclusion: "Family life cannot be determined by economic income alone, and women must not lose the most basic bottom line of marital security. This experience profoundly demonstrated that financial status should not be the only measure of status in marriage.
Only by daring to speak frankly about one's own value can one win the attention and cherishment of others.
Marriage is essentially a transaction, whether it is a transaction of feelings or the exchange of values, equal treatment is crucial.
As Jane Eyre says:
Love is a game, and both parties must be evenly matched in order to remain interdependent for a long time. The opponent is too strong and will make people tired;Too fragile and boring. ”
In marriage, if you fall into weakness, you will inevitably fall into passivity and have no power to fight back.
Women don't have to be too aggressive, but they also can't play the role of being weak and passive, leaving their husbands at their mercy.
You should actively affirm your own value, defend your rights, and improve your ability to repair your marriage.
In the new era, the ideal attitude towards marriage is:
I am full of confidence in treating you sincerely;If you choose to leave, I have nothing to fear.
In the book "Intimacy", there is a couple who experiences a quarrel about a high electricity bill.
One day, the wife was surprised to see an expensive electricity bill, so she approached her husband to discuss the issue. However, the two soon got into an argument.
The wife complains that the electricity bill is too high for them to afford the vacation, while the husband says he works overtime all day and is desperate to earn more money.
As the discussion deepened, the wife began to complain that her husband worked too much overtime, leaving the two with little time to spend together. The wife kept going through old accounts, and the topic of complaining had nothing to do with the electricity bill, and as a result, the quarrel between the two became more and more intense.
Complaining is often a worthless negative emotion that not only fails to solve the problem, but can also have a negative impact on the couple's relationship.
Every marriage goes through all kinds of difficulties, but the difference is that some break up in complaining, while others become stronger in compassion.
Cross talk actor Yu Qian is known for doting on his wife Bai Huiming, but few people know that Bai Huiming has also been "spoiling" Yu Qian for many years.
Bai Huiming has lived a privileged life since he was a child, but after marrying Yu Qian, he faced different economic pressures from before. For two years, Yu Qian's income was very limited, and he even needed to rely on Bai Huiming's monthly salary of 2,000 yuan to make ends meet.
In the face of such a huge change, Bai Huiming has never complained, she has corrected the habit of spending money lavishly, and every expenditure is carefully calculated.
Sometimes, Yu Qian was depressed and even angry due to the pressure of work, but Bai Huiming never fought back or made noise, but comforted Yu Qian with warm words: "Don't worry, everything will be fine." ”
As time passed, their lives gradually improved, and Yu Qian became obsessed with raising horses and invested a lot of money and energy.
If it is another partner, it is likely to be opposed and complained. However, Bai Huiming said to Qian: "If raising horses makes you happy, why can't you?"”
Perhaps it is Bai Huiming's understanding and tolerance that has made Yu Qian's love for her never diminished in the past 20 years.
There is an adage in The Life Without Complaining:
Tell that dissatisfaction never attracts or brings what is desired;On the contrary, complaining will only lead you into those predicaments that you don't expect.
Happiness does not come from complaining, but it dies in complaining.
The relationship between husband and wife is like a blooming flower, growing in the sun and withering under the shadow.
Frequent complaining will only push your partner further and cast a cloud over your life.
Wise women are usually full of positive energy, not afraid of the cold wind, enjoying their time, and settling down in their daily lives.
Some people say: love is romantic, marriage is realistic. When the trivial things of reality replace the flowers before the moon, when the tenderness is integrated into the fragmented thoughts of life, when everything is dull, we need to face the truth of life together. ”
Marriage is not full of passion and romance, but more trivial and bland.
However, the more ordinary the day, the more wisdom and perseverance are needed.
Women, in particular, have to work steadily and at the same time take control of their lives, facing too many responsibilities.
Life is not easy, and happiness does not only depend on luck, but also requires concentration in cultivation to maintain stability and smoothness.
If you choose marriage, you must manage it carefully, not arrogant, not arrogant, not arrogant, not resentful, and the breeze will come lightly.
At the same time, I hope that every woman can maintain rationality and restraint in marriage, give priority to living her own light, and then support the sunshine of others.