Foreword: Parents are an important role in the growth of children, and their education methods directly affect their children's development and growth. However, in some families, the ostensibly docile parent actually shows a strong side, controlling and influencing the child by pretending to be a "good parent". This article will discuss several common ways of this behavior and analyze and think about it.
In family education, in order to establish an authoritative image in front of outsiders and maintain family order, some parents often show a superficial and docile image, but in fact they control and restrict their children through some means. Here are some common ways to manifest themselves:
1.Sighing: This way is to stimulate the child's inner guilt by sighing and sighing, so as to achieve the purpose of restraining and controlling the child. For example, when a child's grades are not satisfactory, parents do not directly ask the reason or urge the child to improve, but let out a sigh of disappointment in front of the child, so that the child feels stressed and guilty, so as to take the initiative to work hard.
2.Misery: By empathizing with their children, parents try to pass on their own predicaments and pressures to their children, ignoring the problems and pressures that their children are facing. For example, when a child comes home and is sad about the test paper, parents do not comfort and sympathize with the child first, but warn the child to be strong by comparing their own work pressure, and do not allow them to express their feelings of exhaustion and distress.
3.False freedom: Giving the child freedom on the surface, but in fact controlling and manipulating it to achieve its own ends, and making the child mistakenly believe that it is his own choice. For example, a parent may ask a child to choose between two foods, but when the child explicitly says that he likes one of the foods, the parent indirectly rejects the child's choice until the child chooses the food that the parent wants.
Behind the superficially docile but actually strong parental behavior is a desire for authority and a desire for control over the child. These parents may have chosen to discipline their children through control and restriction due to their own personality or environmental influences.
First of all, this behavior reflects the importance that parents attach to family order and their sense of responsibility for the growth of their children. These parents believe that order in the family is essential to their children's development, so they use strong methods to ensure order and discipline in the family. However, this style of parenting often ignores the child's personality and needs, leaving the child without the space and opportunity to express himself.
Secondly, the behavior of parents who are docile on the surface but are actually strong is often out of concern and love for their children. These parents want their children to be excellent talents, so they do not hesitate to use some means to push their children to work harder and improve. However, excessive control and restriction can have a negative impact on a child's mental health, making them feel oppressed and constrained, affecting their self-development and growth.
Finally, this behavior reflects the parents' pursuit of their own identity and their recognition of traditional virtues. In some cultures, the role of the parent is seen as a symbol of authority and dominance, and parents often use this status to restrain and control their children. However, this paranoid role identification often ignores the equal and respectful relationship that should be established between parents and children, limiting the diversity and flexibility of interactions in the family.
Parental behavior that is docile on the surface but is actually strong may bring a series of negative effects to children, such as excessive stress and self-depression. Therefore, parents should think and improve from the following aspects:
First of all, parents should respect and understand their children's individual differences, pay attention to and care about their needs and wishes. Different children have different developmental needs and interests, and parents should give them the power and freedom to choose.
Secondly, parents should maintain good communication and interaction with their children. By listening to their children's voices and understanding their thoughts and feelings, parents can better understand their children's needs and thus better support and guide their growth and development.
Finally, parents should educate their children by example. Parents should be role models for their children's learning Xi and growth, and influence their children with positive attitudes and values. By leading by example, parents can give their children more inspiration and guidance to help them develop good morals and Xi.
In summary, parental behavior that is superficially docile but is actually strong can have a negative impact on a child's development. Parents should deeply reflect on their own behavior, and make improvements and adjustments in several aspects, such as respecting their children's needs and personalities, maintaining good communication and interaction with their children, and educating their children in a role model. Only in this way can we truly achieve a positive family education and help children grow up healthy and happy.