Three years ago, when my best brother got married, he was beaten to death by four groomsmen in the haunted house. The sinners bought the relationship and got away with it with just a little loss.
Now, it's my turn to get married. I sent out an invitation to the four of them to be my best man...
My name is Li Tianzhu and I was born in a small mountain village. My best playmate is called Er Fat, he has a short figure, a round face full of pockmarks, a dull wood, but a soft heart.
There's a fucking tradition in our village: vulgar marriages.
The groomsmen will prank the bride and groom at the wedding, and the means are very **.
There is even a link of beating the groom, saying that the harder the beating, the more it can test the strength of the groom, and the more happy the married life will be.
On the day of Erfat's wedding, my father happened to be sick and hospitalized, and I went to serve him, but I couldn't attend Erfat's wedding.
I heard that at that wedding, the four guys from the groomsmen played all kinds of tricks in order to torture the bride and groom.
They let the bride pass four levels.
The first level: the best man does push-ups to pop the balloon on the bride's body;
Level 2: The best man hugs the bride and melts the ice in the bride's clothes;
Level 3: The bride eats the banana tied to her body by her best man;
The fourth level is even more excessive, and the best man says to be happy. Grabbed a handful of red dates with one hand, grabbed a handful of peanuts with the other, pressed them on the bride and rubbed them, and said auspicious words while rubbing: Early birth (jujube) noble son! I saw his hands roaming all over the bride's body, and even reached into the bride's clothes...
The second fat couldn't bear it at all, pounced on the bride, and pleaded in his mouth:
Several brothers. Almost, almost...」
Will those men give up? Rush up and tie the groom to the pole.
The bridegroom will be tortured.
said that if the second fat couldn't bear the pain and shouted once, they would take off one of the bride's clothes.
They first used a fire extinguisher to spray Erfat, and then smashed him all over his body with eggs.
Then the beating session began.
They hit Erfat's neck, chest and abdomen with their fists, and also kicked Erfat's **.
even took out a stick and beat the second fat.
The second fat is not good-looking, and Luton is stupid, but he is the first among the young people of the village to get married. The house was built in a western-style building, and the bride was beautiful and fair-skinned.
And this group of groomsmen is used to making fun of the second fat on weekdays. Now when I see him upstairs and his beautiful clothes, I am jealous and indignant. So the things that I am embarrassed to do and what I dare not do are now displayed in the name of marriage troubles.
They were very ruthless.
The fists, feet, and sticks hit the second fat body with a bang.
At first, the second fat gritted his teeth and held on, but in the end, he couldn't help it, so he moaned.
As soon as he opened his mouth, the groomsmen began to rip off the bride's clothes. He even forcibly kissed the bride with his tongue.
The onlookers smiled and applauded: It's really festive, it's so lively!
Erfat's father died early, and his mother was an honest village woman. Seeing his son being beaten, he felt distressed and wanted to step forward to stop him, but he was pulled away by the villagers. All say: On the big day, it's okay to make trouble.
The beating lasted for an hour and a half, and finally the second fat was helped to the banquet.
During the toasting session of the bride and groom, the second fat was in a trance, holding his chest with one hand, and still smiling at his relatives and friends with difficulty. The bride was very worried, and seeing that the groomsmen were still going to do it, she hurriedly stepped forward to stop her.
However, after the banquet and before entering the cave room, the groomsmen greeted each other again and started a new round of beating of Erfat.
The second fat figure swayed and staggered. After this toss, it was easy to get to the cave room, and the groomsmen ordered the second fat to lie on the ground and carry the bride around the field three times.
At this time, Erfat's expression was extremely painful, and every gasp was like pulling a broken bellows.
After three circles, Er Fat suddenly fell to the ground. Foaming at the mouth and dilated pupils.
Everyone present panicked.
Those people saw that the situation was not good, and snorted:
What to pretend, it's really not troublesome. 」
Then he hurriedly left.
Erpang was taken to the hospital for treatment.
The diagnosis was: tracheal rupture, organ hemorrhage, and eight fatal injuries to the body.
At dawn the next day, when I heard the news and rushed to his bed, the second fat had already died.
The second fat cried and fainted several times, and then took the four people to court.
Unexpectedly, the four people bought off the relationship, and each of them only paid 10,000 yuan in humanitarian comfort money, and they got away with it.
When they came out of the courtroom, I waited outside for a long time, armed with a sharp knife and covered with a piece of clothing.
However, at this moment, there seemed to be a pair of hands holding me tightly. The voice of the second fat rings in my ears:
Dazhu, don't do anything stupid. I saved you in vain? 」
I looked around, and the autumn breeze was bleak.
I gritted my teeth, glanced at the beasts, and turned away.
A gentleman takes revenge, ten years is not too late!
Three years later, I met a girl in the city.
We fell in love, the husband sang and the wife followed, and in a blink of an eye it was time to talk about marriage.
With our personalities, we could have had a travel wedding and quietly got the certificate.
But I didn't forget the revenge plan, and I felt that my chance had come.
I explained the reason to my girlfriend and asked for her permission.
I told my parents and let them do everything I wanted.
I informed the whole village that I was having a feast at the best hotel in town.
In particular, I personally came to the door and extended a sincere invitation to the four culprits of that year.
I said that I don't have many friends outside, and I still miss my childhood love.
Moreover, apart from them, I could not find unmarried young people of the same age. Only they are suitable to be my best man.
I asked them to be there.
The four of them rejoiced when they heard this, and said in unison: "Definitely! Certain!
I sneered in my heart.
In addition to them, I also had to piggyback on one person: Haisheng.
Who is Haisheng? He was the most ruthless and arrogant of the four.
A son isn't a thing, and he's not a thing.
After the death of the second fat, his mother is still in the village yin and yang:
These two fats are really squeamish. What does it have to do with us that we are weak and sick and die? It's really bad luck to want to slander people when you're dead!
The second fat mother argued with her, but Haisheng's mother was sharp and sprinkled.
Even Haisheng's mother is still spreading rumors and slander behind her back.
said that the second fat mother and old cow ate tender grass and had adultery with many strong men at the same time.
It turned out that the second fat family had several sets of scaffolding. People who work in nearby villages often come to rent. The second fat mother can earn more or less anise and subsidize her life.
Haisheng's mother actually spread rumors, saying that many strong guys didn't come out all night after entering the yard of the second fat mother...
The second fat mother was speechless, ashamed and indignant, and committed suicide by drinking pesticides. After being rescued, his mind was not normal.
She couldn't do the farm work anymore, and she couldn't eat enough. The old village chief kindly helped her apply for the subsistence allowance. Since then, the second fat mother has been crazy and sloppy.
So, those four brutes plus a shrew, I won't let them go!
My big day has arrived.
I wore a suit and leather shoes, wore a saffron on my chest, and took the groomsmen on the road to welcome my relatives.
My wedding fleet consisted of 6 Rolls-Royce Phantoms, followed by 12 Mercedes Miles. This pomp and circumstance made several groomsmen dumbfounded.
I looked out the window and rubbed the fat ** in my pocket.
Just watch, my good brother. 」
Erfat is the kind of rotten good person who even deliberately starves and saves food to feed stray dogs.
And I was the first person in the village to be admitted to university, and after graduation, I took the second fat into the city. thought that he could bring him common prosperity, but they drank the northwest wind together.
In the winter, the two of us huddled in an unheated rental room, drinking a bottle of inferior liquor for a dollar to warm up. Erfat often took out half a steamed bun for me to eat, which was the food he saved yesterday.
I am a gentleman who looks like a gentleman, but I am actually irritable and irritable, and I often have friction with people.
I used to do market research on children's foreign languages.
is standing on the street with a small gift, and when I see those parents with children, I come forward to ask for **.
When you come, write it on a piece of paper and go back to the marketing department to exchange money.
Once, several colleagues in my department openly robbed me of the fruits of my labor.
I complained to the department manager, but he fired me.
I had a bruise on my forehead, and I bought a fruit knife, and I had to fight them hard.
The second fat grabbed my arm and begged: Dazhu, Dazhu, don't make trouble, you will go to jail. Let's go back to our hometown.
In the confusion, I was slammed on the back of the head, and I immediately collapsed to the ground.
Those people actually carried out a sneak attack.
They rushed up, and Erfat lay on top of me to protect me, begging them for mercy.
But those people were very heavy, stones, sticks, U-shaped locks, and beckoned to the second fat body together.
The second fat and thick body is like a mountain of meat covering me. He gritted his teeth and never let go...
This time, Erpang lay in bed for two months.
I said to him, "Good brother, if there is something for me to eat, you will eat!" 」
Dazhu, what are you thinking about with straight eyes? Get out of the car. 」
A shout pulled me back to reality, and I looked up: the bride's house had arrived.
I explained it to the groomsmen:
My wedding process is relatively simple - pick up the bride, relatives and friends gather in the hotel, and go back to their respective homes after dinner.
Because my new house is in the city and the road is far away, I don't have to make a hole in the house at night.
In the process of picking up the bride, it is mainly the mother's family who makes it a little difficult. In order not to delay the auspicious time, the groomsmen have little room to play.
So when you get to the hotel, it's the best men's fun.
However, I pretended to beg and said, "The bride is small-minded and doesn't want to make trouble, so you..."」
That's not going to work! The groomsmen glared and said: "Rules are rules, and you have to make trouble." According to tradition, marriage is happy, you know? 」
Yes, yes, I know. I mean, I heard that the bridesmaids this time were beautiful and atmospheric. Whoever is not making trouble, you try to spare the bride...」
The four of them drooped their eyelids and said, "Look..."」
However, when they saw the bridesmaids, they almost dropped their jaws.
The bridesmaid I was looking for was dressed up carefully today, and she was in the national color of Allure.
If it weren't for the bride's deliberately low-key dress, people really couldn't figure out who was getting married.
The groomsmen rubbed their hands together and laughed, giving each other a look. As if to say: It's time to have a good time. 」
Speaking of this bridesmaid, she is a big part of my revenge plan.
And her appearance is also a coincidence.
I made a fortune by opening a bone hall, and my unique job was to apply plasters, and my business was very prosperous.
One day, a beautiful young woman walked into my shop. She sat down, glanced around, and asked me in a low voice
Miracle Doctor. Here you are...Is there a cure for AIDS? 」
I laughed dumbly.
This lady is worthy of you, but my plaster really can't do anything about AIDS. 」
She sighed, looking out the window with lost eyes, with a sad and dead expression.
I felt pity and comforted her: Now the medical profession is constantly introducing new drugs. As far as I know, patients can live a long time if they are properly controlled...
The woman smiled bitterly: I'm not afraid of death. It's just that I'm the way I am now, and I can't find a job offer. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to earn money to support my mother's retirement.
And she said, "Do you know how I got this disease? Have you been following the news in the past two years? At a wedding in a certain place, those groomsmen, in the name of marriage trouble, ** a bridesmaid.
The bridesmaid later suffered from depression and attempted suicide several times.
What the news didn't mention was that she was also infected with AIDS because of this incident.
That bridesmaid was me. You see, fate is so unfair.
I was so embarrassed that I told her about my good brother being killed by a marriage trouble. And told her that now I am going to invite those people to be best men when I get married, and I want them to get retribution...
The woman listened and fell into deep thought. She asked me suddenly
Have you ever considered hiring a bridesmaid for your wedding? 」
She continued: Let the bridesmaids block the bride and let the bridesmaids bear the vulgar marriage troubles, which is a very popular practice in the current society. It is not uncommon to hire bridesmaids. 」
And, she said, "Because I have AIDS, I'm the best bridesmaid." 」
I understood what she meant in an instant.
The beasts...There's no bottom line....Are you really mentally prepared for this? 」
That's exactly what I want, you don't have to say more. She said calmly.
Well, I'll give you 500,000 yuan to support your mother. 」
She stood up excitedly and bowed to me: Thank you for the rest of my life's wishes. Thank you also for giving me the opportunity to sanction those scumbags! 」
This time, I may be the fastest bride in history.
I saw a large array of people blocking the door in front of the bride's door, and dozens of people, old and young, were in full swing.
I had to coax everyone to get comfortable before they would give way.
However, my approach is simple.
I held up a large handful of red envelopes and threw them behind me.
These red envelopes, 5,000 yuan each. Not many in number, first come, first served. 」
As soon as the words fell, the dozens of people who blocked the door cheered and scattered. The rapid fire meteor sprinted behind me, lest I be slow and not be able to grab the red envelope.
I strode into the house, and there were only the bridesmaids, the bride, and a few ladies inside.
Then comes the boring Shoe Finder session.
They would hide the bride's shoes in extremely difficult places to find, and if I couldn't find them, I would be punished, and I would find them for the bride to put on.
But I raised another handful of red envelopes and said loudly:
Each person has a portion, 5,000 yuan each. But I'll count to three, and you'll give me your shoes at once. For every count I count, I'll deduct 1,000 yuan from you. Listen, 1-
Before the voice fell, a girl had already pulled out the bride's shoes from under the bed and handed them to me: Don't count, don't count. The shoes are here, brother-in-law, you must not deduct the money...」
I laughed and carried the bride into the wedding car.
The main thing is to show off your wealth, and the effect you want is to be full of hatred.
Sure enough, the groomsmen couldn't help but ask me:
Dazhu, are you really unclogging the sewers in the city? 」
I sneered:
What do you believe when I say? I was there to appease the masses. I'll tell you the truth, not only did I make a lot of money, but I made it easily. If some people in the village know about this, especially those who still can't afford to buy a house in the city, and the old man can't marry a daughter-in-law, do you think they are angry? 」
I continued to kill people and punish my heart
In this world, not to mention that money is hard to earn, money can never be earned. But you need to rely on your brain to make money. So don't be jealous of those who make a lot of money, you guys have worked hard, but there is a gap here. 」
I pointed to my brain and smiled.
My yin and yang weirdness made the faces of those four people extremely ugly. It is estimated that their hearts are already galloping.
I'm just going to stimulate them. I'm afraid they'll get to the hotel in a moment and I'll not be hard enough.
Article "Vulgar Marriage Troubles", article ** from U-C.