This record is actually a virtual reality, you don't have to take it seriously, father and mother, teacher and police, shopkeeper and owner, social people, many families, don't worry, let alone be suspicious, angry, and the author's verbal dispute. This nonsense is only a good warning.Psychological counselors, professional ethics are disciplined, and they dare not slack off. This is the second home visit. On the first day after the blizzard, sporadic snowflakes still came to kiss the cheeks and wrap up the makeup tightly, but there were also masks that were not tightly wrapped on the cheeks. Hurriedly one foot deep and one foot shallow, pulling out the foot in the snow nest and stepping out of another pit, worthy of the name of trekking in the need of professional morality. People and cars hug each other on the street, and the cars are like snails and ants, slowly squirming instead of traffic and people flying. When the old man was in his ears, he had no roots under his feet, couldn't withstand the wind, and couldn't bear the rain and snow. Osteoporosis in the elderly can lead to the end of life. But I still tried to make the appointment.Preface.
My partner followed me up the stairs to the fifth floor, and I was suspiciousI knocked on the door, the door opened, and I saw the parents, and with a depressed face, I realized that the problem was serious - the child had run away.
His father, furious, confided in his child about the "escalation and upheaval" of the past 12 days.
One. The parents of seven or eight "accomplice" children begged the police station
Arrest them, even if it's for two days!Let them have a fear.
Why don't you handcuff them?”
The police helplessly explained: "We have to handle the case according to the law, they are still underage children!."You parents go back and discipline well, and you can't do any more crimes!”
The parent in question asked, "Can I be put in a juvenile detention center?"”
The police said: "No, they are not juvenile delinquents yet. ”
Someone suggested that it should be sent to the Shaolin Martial Arts School. After parents fully understand it, they believe that strong discipline and hard education will have unpredictable consequences.
Two. Seven or eight children commit crimes in groups, sometimes eight, there are.
Six, seven, and two. In the past twelve days, he was arrested three times and taken to the police station:
One child said, xxx doesn't support us. aAnd he said, Whosoever hath him**, let him come and repair him. Sure enough, xxx was asked to come, and a group of children came together, and they beat each other. xxx immediately called the police, the police station, all arrested, xxx because there was no bad result, the parents came to the scene to reconcile.
The money extorted from the parents was spent, and the two little accomplices, a car on the side of the street, pulled the door next to each other, and when they reached the third car, the door was pulled open. 300 yuan was found. There are also snacks and the like. When the case was discovered, the two were arrested and taken to the police station. Among them, my consulting object, whom I had never met, was fined 10 yuan and fined 2,700 yuan, and the principal offender was fined 3,000 yuan. was released. My (dated) partner is unhappy and gritted his teeth to take revenge on society.
Sleep during the day and come out at night. Eight friends mixed into the chess and card room at night, messing around, disrupting the boss's business order: stealing other people's food, drinking other people's bottled water, and other illegal behaviors. The boss called the police, and all eight of them were arrested and taken to the police station. In these twelve days alone, he entered the "palace" three times.
The police confiscated their mobile phones, the tools of collusion, secretly brought them back to their parents, and instructed them not to bring their own mobile phones. But the parents discussed, if there is no mobile phone, it looks like a kite with a broken string, where can we find them?
Three. In the first interview, his father was the chief complainer on behalf of his son. Learned:
The couple had a son together. Two strong men, the mother is stronger. Husbands and wives are not in tune, their concepts are reversed, and quarrels between husband and wife are commonplace and irreconcilable, "it is not appropriate to eat a pot of rice together". Therefore, his father left home to live in a rented house. The mother works nearby while taking the child;My father thought that the local wages were too low and went to work in other places. Mother thinks that I am completely satisfied with eating, drinking and wearing, and the child does not have to worry about anything, and does not have to worry about anything, just study hard;Suppressed and forced and little communication, children in a depressive atmosphere, lack of spiritual care;The mother is condescending and lacks affection and thoughtfulness. At the same time, years of fatherly love cannot be received. The young heart is not nourished by the love it deserves, and the sense of security and belonging is lacking. The development of the heart is abnormal, so the deformity grows, the positive motivation is lacking, the right direction of life is biased, the control is very weak, and the retrograde period is prematurely entered.
After entering junior high school, he entered the teenage period, which was also his rebellious growth. The pre-adolescent education did not keep up, the parents were not aware, no one cared about the "spiritual care" lesson of family education, and the child developed to be overly rebellious, so he dropped out of school, and at this time, in the first semester of the eighth grade, he wandered in society. Although the father quit his job in the field and returned home to accompany the child, the relationship between the husband and wife deteriorated, and the child was very annoyed by the mother, so he lived with the father, and the mother was regarded as an "enemy", and the emotional contusion was even more serious.
Consultation suggestions: 1. Reconcile the relationship between husband and wife, increase the affinity of the family, and use the joint efforts of parents to warm the thick ice in the hearts of children2. Parents work together to give their children heart-to-heart, sincerely admit their mistakes, disappear their children's complaints, and exchange them for their children's growth hope, confidence and motivation. And you must persist every day for a long time, conform to the child's heart, the more sincere the better, and the prodigal son can be warm-hearted and turn back. But both fathers shook their heads. There was another agreement: After the Father and the Son had agreed, they would make an appointment for me to visit their home.
Four. There are social reasons for a child's aberration. Family disharmony, loss of happiness, resentment and loss of confidence in life, lack of motivation for growth, dropped out of school in the first semester of the eighth grade. Mother cares, dad can't reach, wandering outside. Riding an electric scooter with a classmate in the same situation, he was driving in the wrong lane in the slow lane and crossed the wrong lane with a woman who overturned on the road. At this time, the two teenagers still had compassion and a sense of responsibility, supported her to the side of the road, and dialed 120 to help, at that time there was no big problem, but he was hospitalized for several days, and after the court trial, the compensation was more than 80,000 yuan, because my consulting object was sitting in the back seat, and it was decided to take one-third. Feeling wronged, he was extremely corrupt and vowed to take revenge on society. and did not provide timely psychological counseling and behavior guidance, and the family resentment and hatred were mixed, so they became more and more emboldened.
The first home visit was on the twelfth day after counseling with his father. When my father asked me this time, he was arrested and sent to the police station three times in less than two weeks, and my heart was extremely heavy, he fission was too fast, and his nature was about to upgrade to the extreme. According to my analysis, his father missed the best psychological rescue period, and did not follow our two agreements, at least he should stabilize first, and not develop to the peak and difficult to reverse. His father took measures to "stabilize the family" and allowed him to bring his partner to live with him in order to prevent him from leaving. Basically, there were seven or eight accomplices, sleeping on the bed, four sleeping on the floor, and the father was in charge of buying and cooking, so tolerant, they still went out day and night, and also entered the three police stations. My father had no choice but to make an appointment with me to visit his home, but it was too late.
When I went to the living room, my father first made arrangements and told him to go to another room, and then called his son to get up, saying "Teacher Wang is here", but the child did not respond. Reluctantly, let me into the room. Give me a chair and a cup of tea. I didn't sit down, I bent over and bent my knees and lowered my head to the bed, only to see clearly: the quilt covered a curled "human shape", I guessed the direction of my head, and told him in a slow voice that I bowed to him one by one and told him that he was ninety degrees, and introduced his identity as a fellow countryman, to come and see him, and the statement was not official, nor was it a school, nor was it a "lobbyist", not a psychological counselor. I only talk about his multiple sufferings (from family, school, and society) and empathize with them one by one;The child is at fault because he relieves the suffering of the soulThe three parties are responsible, the child is the victim, the sufferer, the wronged - exonerate him with his heart in order to accept my counseling ......I groveled for 45 minutes, and he didn't lift his face, I didn't see his face, I didn't hear his voice. However, I knew he was listening and was not asleep, because he was motionless, indicating that he was in control and had a heart palsy and could not get up.
I reminded the parents that I could invite eight parents, and I would do a group visit: everyone worked together in one direction: the heart-saving action, first let humanity return to one by one, and only restricting behavior is no longer effective. The parent looked at him with contempt and helplessness: Don't say that we can't summon it, we will issue a notice to the police station, if you don't go, there will be grandma who entrusts your aunt or aunt to go.
I am still unwilling, the key is eight families, five or six schools, several parents and several teachers, tsk!Tsk!Tsk!
I can't bear the warning: stealing chickens and touching dogs, this is not too serious for the social damage, but group bullying and fighting, teenagers of the same age have no sense of control, no weight, if they hurt people's lives or lifelong disabilities and other serious consequences, threatening social stability, eight tragic families, five or six schools management accountability, and more importantly, the future life ...... of eight childrenIn front of me: This parent is just crying.
Five. Downstairs, stepping on the snow and skating, one foot deep and one foot shallow, heavier than when I came, staggering, I feel very uncomfortable, I feel that I have no morality, no talent and incompetence, 47 years of education career, 17 years of high school principal, countless students, countless parents, students, why so far family education and school education, social education, there are so many blind spots in education that we know and don't know!
Save the kids!
Six. Parent-child, teacher-student growth apocalypse.
Only by connecting the roots and nurturing the roots can the branches flourish.
Bacon solidifies the foundation, bacon casts the soul.
How about rooting?
How to raise roots?
What is Soul Forgery?You can't become a fat man by eating a bite, no matter how much you hate iron, you can't become steel, ** psychology exceeds the child's ability to accept and preach, not education but injury and power loss.
Only ask the child to change, and he does not want to forge ahead and does not set an example, and only looks at the child in the car circle, instead of looking at himself in the mirror;Even asking children to do the "way" with their own evil deeds may be contrary to the contrary.
Education is a science, which needs to be studied and studied.
Closed on December 21, 2023.
About author:Wang Ruixi, male, Han nationality, from Anyang, Henan, graduated from the Department of Chinese of Henan Normal University with a bachelor's degree, graduated from Beijing Normal University with a master's degree in developmental psychology, a national second-level psychological counselor, a senior hypnotist, and a deputy to the Anyang Municipal People's Congress. He started his career in June 1976 as a senior Chinese teacher in middle school, and has served as a teacher, principal, and deputy director.
During his tenure, he has won the honorary titles of the first national middle school star principal, advanced individual of private education of Henan Provincial Department of Education, 100 outstanding principals of democratic management in Henan Province, civilized teacher of Henan Province, backbone teacher of Anyang City, outstanding teacher of Anyang City, top ten teachers and moral pacesetters of Anyang City, outstanding representative of the National People's Congress, outstanding Communist Party member of Anyang City, and outstanding political and ideological worker of Anyang City. The unit has been rated as a provincial demonstration high school and a provincial civilized unit for many times.
China Media Cultural Integration Center).