It is understandable that we are nervous in front of people with higher social status than ourselves, such as teachers, leaders, and some powerful people.
But why can't we be ourselves comfortably in front of some seemingly close family members, if it is fear and oppression, then these feelings come from. Why do family members and friends seem so close, but in fact they don't face themselves and each other calmly, but use a little displeasure with a little disguise, a little disguised simplicity without heart and lungs, and a little coldness disguised with enthusiasm. My heart is twisted, my body wants to help me escape, but my heart blindly betrays myself to take into account the feelings of others.
There are several possible reasons for this:
1. The mood continues to be low, but you don't want others to know or worry about yourself, so you hide your true feelings.
2. There is no deep thinking about the nature of this phenomenon. Sometimes it takes courage and energy to be honest with your feelings, to actively face your emotions and thoughts and to express your thoughts and emotions, and maybe sometimes avoidance is the easiest and effortless, so it slowly becomes habitual avoidance. Relatives are the closest people to us, and when they are psychologically avoided, but physically they can't avoid it, people are twisted. Most of these conditions can slowly turn into social anxiety (manifested as laziness to socialize and feeling uneasy about socializing) or people-pleasing personality (not necessarily to please someone, but to avoid the trouble caused by conflict in the relationship, so the superficial warmth is chosen).
3. It may be affected by the other party's sense of deterrence or authority. Some people are capable and have a strong personality, which can also make family members feel inferior and uneasy, so that they cannot express their thoughts and emotions confidently.
4. The conflict with his family may have not been truly resolved, and he seems to be separated. For example, I am already disappointed in the relationship, but I don't want things to expand, so I constantly go against my true feelings, and I will become more and more selfless. It's actually very sad, although it seems to be sacrificial, but the relationship has long been unrecognizable) can only be yourself, and don't care if you offend the other person, whether he is your parents, your lover, or even your children. Don't be afraid of hurting them, they're not as fragile as you think. Sometimes being too kind is cowardice, but it will hurt yourself and hurt your relationship.
5. Lack of energy, such as lack of sleep, will worsen mood and increase psychological pressure. I have a lot of irritability when I look at the people and things around me, and I don't want to let my emotions attack, so I can only choose to suppress myself, so I become restless and irritable. Sometimes it's not necessarily something that stresses you, but just owes yourself a good rest, and when both body and mind are relaxed, the mindset will be more positive and optimistic.
To sum up, the above points can actually be attributed to our lack of fullness, self-confidence, and strength. Although some bad feelings seem to be brought to you by the other party, they are actually caused by your own lack of energy. This is just like the principle of our traditional Chinese medicine, when there is a problem in a certain part of the body, what needs to be regulated is the essential problem, so as to reverse some external appearances.
Some things may seem unrelated, such as regular fitness, enriching ourselves with study and work, and perhaps even more importantly, having a good rest and relaxation, but they can bring about a change in our state of mind, so that we can better adapt to and manage various intimate relationships.
In conclusion, not being able to be ourselves is a common phenomenon, but we can overcome this difficulty by thinking deeply, being honest, and facing it positively. Only by improving your energy state, truly understanding yourself, and expressing yourself bravely can you better communicate with others and build good relationships.