The definition of adventure in the male world is to step out of everyday life and go to unfamiliar places in order to achieve greater achievements or more experiences, and adventure is the result of men's independent choices. But women's adventures are everyday. Women can also go on adventures in the definition of the male world and experience the excitement of adrenaline boosting, but if you stay here, you actually ignore that women also have to experience all kinds of adventures in the scenes of life: walking into an all-male elevator, beware of being **, every emotional experience, not to mention having children. We should give ourselves more encouragement.
When I was in junior high school, I got into an argument with a boy, got into a fight, and then started slapping each other. I'm not used to violence, and I don't like to hit people, so I need courage every time I fight. I think we both wanted each other to stop first, but at that point I decided not to. I've been remembering this scene for a long time, although I can't remember why it started. Since then, I have realized that when I encounter something that needs to be resisted, I must "fight" back, and it is not enough to "fight" back once, but that resistance is a continuous process.
That mutual slap did not end until the teacher came, and the matter was over when it was over, no one was held accountable, and the consequences were not as serious as I imagined. It turns out that conflict (which does not involve serious violence) is not a terrible thing, and boys may know this from an early age. For men, fights are commonplace. Girls are promised a gentle, peaceful world – not that we don't want world peace, we certainly want it, as Chizuruko Ueno said, feminism is about the idea of living, but in order to live better, we can't avoid conflict in our daily lives.
Women are not trained in the face of conflict, thinking that they can stop now and be fine if they don't resist, or they think that if they resist for a while, the matter will be over. Women are often the ones in the family who endure and regulate their emotions. Shouldn't we train ourselves not to avoid conflict?Sometimes, we need to fight, we need to make conflicts, we need to make things clear this way.
Q1: At what point did you realize that you were a woman?
BuckwheatIt was only after studying feminism that I realized I was a woman. I used to reject gender, I felt that I was a human being, why do I have to think of myself as a woman?But after studying feminism, I realized that I had to admit that I was a woman before I could become a person, and not that I could skip this step.
Q2: What is your feminist consciousness enlightenment?
BuckwheatMy feminist enlightenment came entirely from the discussions of young girls on Weibo, from the specific lives of women that I received on Weibo. Female intellectuals often feel that they can go beyond the concrete life, that they can not be demanded like that, and that they cannot see the women who are more trapped. I saw on Weibo things that were not so visible in my personal life.
Q3: Who is the most courageous person in your eyes?
BuckwheatMy mom. She's small, but she doesn't back down in a lot of key places.
Q4: How would you accumulate your courage?
BuckwheatCourage is exercised, and when you choose to be brave again and again, you will become braver.
Q5: Which one would you most like to say no to women?
BuckwheatWomen should be comfortable with the people around them. It seems that naturally, there is a need for a woman in life to make the life of the people around her more comfortable, whether it is to take care of other people's emotions and self-esteem, or to take care of children and family, women have to bear the so-called emotional labor.
Q6: What is it that men can easily have but women have a hard time having?
BuckwheatFreedom of time. They can easily leave their relationship behind, leave their family behind, say they want to work, say they want to go on a business trip, say they want to socialize, say that he is working hard for the family, they have a complete self and time, and he can not waste time in the family. And after a woman generally establishes a relationship, her time does not seem to belong to her.
Q7: Do you ever feel happy that you are a woman?
BuckwheatWhen I became aware of the gender of women and saw a lot of problems, I felt that it was good to be a woman when I was able to gain some freedom and grow up by discerning my place in the world, and when I realized what kind of space women could have and what kind of things they could create.
Q8: What would you like to say to your male friends?
BuckwheatMale intellectuals about feminism, don't criticize it, don't judge it, it's fine. Some male intellectuals feel that they are particularly feminist, and that many women are not feminist enough. I want to put a question mark on this gesture, because no amount of theory can cover the identity of women themselves.
Q9: If women could go on a group adventure, what would it be that they would like to do?
BuckwheatIt's still too hard for women to say what they really think. For many women, it is difficult to admit the sense of failure in life and face something like a cage because they are in a very specific life. I hope we can really be honest about our pain and cry out those hidden pains together.
Q10: Share a feminist work you love and explain why.
BuckwheatAn Ordinary Day with Peanuts by Shirley Jackson. She is a woman who has lived a very bad life and has been completely devoured by a patriarchal society. Some women writers are conscious and write feminist works, but she almost instinctively writes about the very subtle fears and pains of women in the face of everyday life. It's remarkable, because it's easy for people to lose their ability to be aware in that situation, but she uses stories to show us the horrors that can happen all the time for exclusive women.
Producer: Shu Zhenmeng.
Photo: Zhou Shuoying.
Co-ordinator: Chen Xiaohan.
Editor: Meng Yi.
Interview & Collation: He Shanshan.
Styling: Bai Min, Zhou Yingying.
Operations: Lu Jun, Tiffany
WeChat design: zhang tiantian
Producer: Liu Jiaxi, Dong Jiamin.
Lighting: Weimin.
Retouching: Yang Yuan.
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