** is one of the indispensable and important life contents of husband and wife, and it is one of the foundations for whether the marriage is stable and solid.
Since the opening up, the divorce rate has increased year by year, which is of course directly related to the "rampant materialism" and the change of moral concepts.
Another important reason is that women's social and economic status is improving year by year, and for this reason, the phenomenon of women taking the initiative to "divorce their husbands" has also increased significantly, which has become a new feature in real marriage. According to the statistics of Shanghai, Beijing, Wuhan and other big cities, the woman's voluntary divorce generally accounts for about 70 divorce incidents
In addition, there is also one of the most fundamental reasons for divorce that many people do not know, because divorce cases are personal and private cases, and they are not heard in public, so people only see the results and ignore the internal root causes.
AuthorThe reason why I have the opportunity to ** this question is because I have worked as a part-time lawyer for several years, and I have litigated for divorce cases many times, and I have learned and investigated some little-known secrets, and at the same time combined with the relevant knowledge of sexual medicine and sexual psychology to put forward the following understandings:
Due to the remnants of Chinese feudal society and the decadent concept of sexuality, many parties are still reluctant to talk about the sexual disharmony between husband and wife when they divorce, and only use the excuse of "emotional breakdown", "personality discord" or other economic reasons to keep the essence of things secret. For example, I once litigated for a man, and the husband and wife are really "wolf talents" and "made in heaven" In the eyes of outsiders, they are very happy, and they have passed the "seven-year itch" and a lovely little daughter is 5 years old. Out of curiosity, I have patiently understood several times, the man poured out his bitter water, he and his wife were newly married for the first two years, the relationship has been very good, and then because he was not promoted in time, he has always been a secretary in the agency, the work pressure is high, and the mood is not good, so he often uses alcohol to kill his sorrows, smokes more, often insomnia, dizziness, sorrow and depression, and sudden decline in sexual function, and since then, the relationship between the husband and wife has begun to .......
Judging by my professional intuition, he was a typical depressive personIt is reported that about 30 people in modern times have been depressed in their lives, and there are more women than men, and most of them are white-collar workers.
People who suffer from depression are mostly manifested by loss of appetite, physical strength, sleep disorders - insomnia or hypersomnia, difficulty concentrating, language, memory and movement can be affected by depression, and as symptoms worsen, low self-esteem, disappointment, and guilt are also common.
"Most depressed patients have a significant decrease in libido, and depressed patients usually have few sexual fantasies and ideas, and although passive sexual behavior is less affected by depressed patients, active sexual behavior is significantly reduced. The mechanism of activation (erectile function in men, lubrication function in women) is complete, but the perception of activation is often reduced.
Although 70% of depressed patients have decreased libido, less than one-third of depressed patients have sexual dysfunction, and Woodruff et al. found that 23 men with primary affective disorder have impotence. (Sexual Medicine, p. 226).
According to several conversations I had with the client, I knew that he was caused by depression "psychogenic impotence", which is non-organic mental impotence and does not require medication**.
The initial cause of his impotence is frustration, guilt, frustration, worry, anger as a result, when it happens by chance, he can't treat it correctly, so he produces a new round of fear, before it happens again, he is afraid of failure, which is called "purpose trembling" in psychology, the more so, the smaller his probability of success, coupled with his wife's complaints, sarcasm, thus forming a "vicious circle".
I sympathized with and understood his psychology, and comforted him with confidence, let him discuss with his wife, and give him a period ......of **, which can be tentatively set at three months, if he can't recover, it's not too late to divorce again.
His wife is really reasonable, proving that the original relationship foundation is still very good. So I patiently gave him "psychological counseling" and counseling, and at the same time, with the use of "placebo", his symptoms improved significantly in just one month.
The so-called "placebo" is actually a kind of "fake drug" that has no ** effect, such as "talcum powder" and so on into capsules and for patients it is said to be a special drug for a certain disease, and its ** mechanism is the effect of "suggestion", beforeMe**It is also often used for insomnia, and the effect is also very good.
Why use a "placebo"?One is that the patient does not have obvious symptoms of temperamental disease;The second is to verify that he is indeed "mentally impotent". In order to confirm that he did not lose sexual function, I instructed him to glue the ** to the two legs with a note before going to bed, if the note is found to be broken in the morning, it proves that his ** has erection function, and the inability to complete ** is completely due to tension, anxiety, fear, guilt and other bad emotions, negative psychology, etc. After his experiment, he happily invited me to drink. happened to borrow wine to chat, and persuaded him to drink less, smoke less, tobacco and alcohol have a certain impact on sexual function, etc., and then his mood got better day by day, I found successful inspirational books for him to read, and often hit ** to encourage him. He also asked him to buy some good products to nourish the kidney, such as walnut kernels, loach fish, black sesame seeds, etc., for "food supplements", etc., about two months, one morning, he was pleasantly surprised to call me **, reporting "the first battle was won", his wife was shocked, and since then the relationship has been getting better day by day, and then we have become friends who have nothing to talk about.
Sexuality should actually include both wives. Because of his wife's cooperation, understanding is an important factor in the best effect
So I pointed out their common mistakes, that is, the low "sex quotient" of both parties, and the misunderstanding caused by "sexual blindness", which caused a crisis in the marriage that should not have broken down, and then I told her how to understand the doctor and how to encourage her husband in the process of sex, and lent her some relevant instructional books.
She was humble and patient, and with her cooperation, her husband's symptoms improved and recovered, and the flame of hope was rekindled in the ruined marriage, ......
Modern **, the most advertised is to treat sexual dysfunction, but Professor Wu Jieping in his "Sexual Medicine" discussed, about 80% of sexual dysfunction is psychogenic, that is, it belongs to modal disorders, is caused by depression, anxiety, sorrow or mental pressure for too long, it is a pity that many men sarcastically look for aphrodisiac drugs, and even take "viagra" special drugs, in order to achieve immediate results, don't you know that this is an authentic "drink to quench thirst", and can not fundamentally ** "impotence", " and other sexual function diseases, which in turn impair other functions of the body.
Now please sober up and calm down, and recall, did you also make the mistake of blind choice?It is common for some friends with impotence **, as soon as the difficult luck passes, the virility will be regained immediately, and there is no need to take those aphrodisiac kidney tonic drugs at all.
To be continued