In the process of interpersonal communication, there is such a common but confusing phenomenon, the more you are good to a person, the more you don't get his cherishment, we will always hear someone say, "I am so good to him, why doesn't he cherish me at all", or "I have paid so much for him, why is he still so indifferent to me" Before answering these doubts, first of all, there is a truth that you have to understand that human nature is complex, and it is not that your efforts in life will necessarily be equally rewarded, and your efforts should be based on mutual respect and equality between each other, not through your unilateral pleasing others in exchange for cherishing and recognition, whether in any kind of relationship, the more you try to please, the more you seem to be cheap.
There is a characteristic of human nature, what you can't get is always the best, whether it is for people or things, and on the other hand, for those who are easier to get, the more they will not take it to heart, and only when they need to use it will they remember his existence, just like between men and women, if mutual love is a matter of course, but if it is just your unilateral pursuit, the more you please in every possible way, the more you will not be cherished and valued, because he will feel that your pay is cheap, and it will come and go, and your flattery will make the other party habitually ignore your efforts, and even feel that all your efforts to him are taken for granted。
What kind of psychological state is to please the leader, please colleagues, please friends, etc., many times this kind of flattering behavior may not be sincere, many people will choose to please others, the initial purpose may be to hope to get the love and acceptance of others through the way of please, so as to establish a seemingly intimate relationship, because they lack a sense of security, deep in their hearts desire to be recognized by others, however, when a person cares too much about the feelings of others for a long time, they will habitually ignore their own feelings and needs, and over time will lead them to gradually lose themselves in this relationship and become more humble, becoming cheaper and less valued.
Don't try to get approval and cherishment from others by pleasing you, but be equal and respectful in any relationship, only then can your goodness be cherished and appreciated by the other person.
Never forget your own bottom line and principles, let alone sacrifice your bottom line and dignity in order to cater to others, stick to the bottom line to win respect.