Two days ago, I saw something that made me look stupid.
said that there was a family and the house was renovated, and suddenly posted a post, saying that the family members were broken and wanted to change the toilet at home into a children's room, but they stepped on the pit.
Looking at the title, I thought about joking, but I didn't expect it to be true, this person really planned to change the toilet into a children's room.
I ......What the hell do you think??
Sound, ventilation, lighting, area, none of these are the environments that can make children sleep Well, guess why this place is called a toilet?
I once thought that this was a poor family with a slightly larger population, and I really had no choice but to make this decision (and there was no such strategy).
It turned out that it was really not, and the family was very rich.
This is a five-bedroom house, there are a total of five people in the family, mom and dad and three children, there is no problem with one person and one room, and the area of a living room in his house is the size of a suite for many people.
But they don't, they just don't use the bedroom, so they have to change the toilet.
Which child does the toilet sleep in?To the eldest daughter,The remaining twin sons have one bedroom for each person.
Okay, I almost get it.
Of course, the family did not admit that they were well-known for their carefulness, and the reason they gave was that they wanted to convert one bedroom into a tea room, and there was still a lack of a tea room in the house.
Good guys, big five-bedroom house, you can't put a tea table anywhere, and there is a version of the design plan that has already made a tea room, they are not enough, and they need another one.
Netizens hurriedly gave them ideas, such as changing the toilet into a tea room, and it is convenient to have water supply and water, but they said that "the location is not good".
Oh you also know that the location is not good, the location is not good, you let your daughter sleep?
In short, a son is more important than a daughter, drinking tea is also more important than a daughter, and it doesn't matter if your daughter sleeps comfortably, you can believe itSuch a big house can't accommodate a girl.
This can't be called eccentricity, it's simply vicious.
JK Rowling was about to cry when she saw it, she wrote "Harry Potter" when she was an old man, and the biggest "abuse" she could think of for Harry was that Harry slept in a closet when he was a child, how could she have thought that she still had this hand.
The follow-up was that netizens saw that they didn't listen to persuasion, so they simply went on the magic bombardment, and posted it in the comment area together"A daughter's toilet and a children's room will kill her parents and younger brothers.", frightened the poster, and directly canceled the account and ran away.
Netizen: You have logged out, but this curse is still in effect!
I don't blame netizens for being so ruthless, who doesn't get angry when they see this kind of thing.
But even if the family is afraid of this "curse" and does not dare to change the toilet into their daughter's bedroom anymore, the eccentricity will still exist, and the girl will continue to experience this eccentricity more times as she grows up.
Maybe she can perceive it, maybe she will only vaguely feel that ** is wrong, but she can't say it, or this partiality will shape her into a character of "I only deserve to be treated like this", and it will always control her life choices.
This is also a very common feeling in girls, "I don't deserve it", a more popular saying, called"Unworthy".
The so-called "sense of unworthiness" isAfter being imperceptibly affected for a long time, the sense of self-identity is too low, and I don't believe in my own value and don't believe that I deserve something betterLow self-esteem, depression, sensitivity, and even compromise in everything.
Because of the problem of the growth environment, the "sense of unworthiness" of girls is often stronger, some because of the patriarchal preference similar to the above "toilet explosion and change of daughter's bedroom", and some because of the gender suppression of people around them and the outside world.
In fact, sometimes I really don't understand, we seem to be particularly afraid of girls' self-confidence here, girls are self-confident is like committing a crime, parents want to press you, school wants to press you, a man in love also wants to press you, there is always a force that wants you to believe that you don't deserve better, and sloppy is the life you deserve.
Just like the daughter who almost slept in the toilet above, her parents probably also felt that they were already very good to her, such a good family condition, and a room of their own, not much better than many families?
Women have been reinforced with a "sense of unworthiness" all the time, "what else do you want to do when you go to school and study", "what do you want to do if you don't lack food, you don't need clothes", "it's good for a man like you to want you", "he didn't beat you or scolded you, what do you have to be dissatisfied with".
To some extent, this can explain why many girls fall into junk love or junk marriages and can't get out.
It's not that she doesn't know that this situation is wrong, it's not that she doesn't know that there is an unqualified man on the other side, she thinksShe is worthy of such a man.
The low self-identity that she has been trained since childhood makes her feel that she is worthy of such a humble feeling, and what she gets reinforces this, similar to "I just said I didn't deserve it, you see, I didn't get it, I didn't deserve it", and finally entered a dead loop.
So I have scolded a remark before, "You are not loved because you are not good enough", which is also a disguised reinforcement of women's "sense of unworthiness".
You are not valued by your parents because you are not smart enough and not well-behaved, you are not cared for by your friends because you are not valuable enough, you are not loved by men because you are not good enough ......The implication is that you deserve it, you deserve it.
This "sense of unworthiness" can also occur in another situation, where women will feel loved while falling into a strong sense of uneasiness, fear of losing, and instead push the other person out as a way to prove that "sure enough, I don't deserve it".
But that's all.
Not being valued by your parents may be just because you are a daughter, because the big bedroom has to be given to the younger brother, because the parents despise their daughters in their bones. Not being cared about by a friend may simply be because the friend has a problem with himself. If you don't get loved, you may not love others just because of the man opposite, and this situation is too common with men.
No matter what your actual "value" is, being loved or not can't define whether you are worthy, not to mention that a normal, non-adulterous girl deserves more kindness, since someone says that they love you and value you, then this person should give you a better feeling.
There is a high probability that outsiders will not be able to change, such as parents who would rather have more tea rooms at home than give their daughters a big room, and the overwhelming "curses" of netizens will not make them change their patriarchal thoughts, and will even intensify because their daughters have made them lose face.
We can only start with ourselves, correct our "unworthiness" that we have been shaped, affirm ourselves in the details of life, praise our every small achievement, and imagine what we get more by the way.
Some people may think that this is "poisonous chicken soup", I have seen it many times, saying that women are now taught to be confident, and women are floating. I have also seen a mother post worried about praising her daughter too harshly, what should she do if her daughter is blindly confident.
I think you're thinking too much.
I never believe in anything like "spoiling my daughter" or "talking about women", women always get more suppression and belittlement from the outside world, and boasting is nothing more than a tug of war with the forces that pull her down, and they can reach a state of equilibrium and burn high incense.
Where can she be confident, and how confident she can still be as confident as a man?
Regardless of whether you can get it or not, no matter whether your ability is at the top of the **, you must first dare to think, the direct embodiment of the "sense of unworthiness" is that you dare not think about it, and you feel that you have crossed the line when you think about it. Imagination of oneself is the first step to breaking the "sense of unworthiness".
Imagine that you have more love, imagine that you have a better partner, imagine that you are confident, generous and cheerful, have a stable job and life, and have a fulfilling and satisfying life. It can not be realized, or it can not be expected to be realized, but it must be dared to think.
To borrow a sentence I saw today, "Men at the bottom dare to dream of marrying a school girl and going home, what do you dare not think about"?
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