1. My son posted a status on Weibo: "Perhaps, sometimes don't always tinker with bad things, but create something newer and better." ”
Then, his dad replied below: "That's why we gave birth to your brother again." ”
Child, you must have a good time growing up.
2. Last night, I talked back to my wife, my wife sitting on the sofa, without saying a word, picked up the sleeping cat lying between her thighs and threw it at me, and the cat smashed directly on my face, and then the world was still, I was stunned with the cat, and my wife was stunned, and after a pause of 3 seconds, my wife said: "I ......."I thought it was a pillow ......‘
Brother Radish, you are so enchanting.
3. Lao Wang asked his son: How are you studying lately?The son said, "It's okay!."Lao Wang said I'll test you?Son: No problem. Lao Wang: Make a sentence with 'can't stop'. Son: Today, our bath bomb can't be used, and my mother went to Song Bo's house next door to take a bath.
I have a deep relationship with this trash can.
4. Yesterday I went to the supermarket, I really wanted to eat the puffs, so I took the bag and weighed it, and when the supermarket staff sealed it, I said that you take out a few and I will take it to eat, and the rest of the seal ** went to checkout, and the result was ......As a result, I suddenly didn't want to eat the puffs in my hand after eating them, so I put the bag there and came out of the shopping channel, and I always think it is weird there anyway.
The chair was swearing at me just now.
5. Last year's National Day students organized to go to the beach to play, and in the evening, the classmates bought a coconut to drink, and a buddy wanted to eat the meat inside after drinking, because it was too hard, he knocked on a stone that was sharper by the sea, so everyone was playing the game and didn't pay much attention. I came out in the middle of the night with an urgent need to urinate (I slept in a rented tent at the time). That guy was still knocking on the coconut there, looking at me with bloodshot eyes and asking, do you want to eat coconut meat?I still can't forget that persistent look.
Thanks, I use chopsticks.
6. My wife loves beauty very much, and every time she washes her face, she will come over and ask her husband: Husband, look at me if I am white!The husband knew that it was not very white, but every time in order not to make his wife angry, he said: Ah!It's pretty white!But this time the husband was fed up and replied: Yes!It's white!Idiot white!
A student's information sheet.
7. Halfway through the bath, he suddenly ran out of water, and shouted at his mother outside"Mom, why is there no water all of a sudden, I haven't washed it yet!"Mom"Haha, it's really not, the water was much smaller when I washed just now, and I thought it would stop after a while""Then you don't tell me!""Oh, I'll test my guess with you. "
It's really my own mother.