1. Recently, I have been eating with my mother-in-law at noon. The mother-in-law said, "Eat more, and your health will not be sick." I said, "Yes, eat your son and don't want me anymore." The mother-in-law said, "If you are fat, my son doesn't want you anymore, I will tell you a rich master, and the dowry will be fifty-fifty cents." ”
Me: "....The best earrings.
2. My wife has always recruited babies to like, one day a friend brought a 7-month-old baby to our house to play, the baby saw his wife giggled, his wife was satisfied, and said to me, "Look at you, the baby likes me", not to mention how proud. At this time, the child said, "Well, yes, she likes fat people, and she laughs when she sees fat people." ”
On the way, I saw a motorcycle and a sedan, and they were combined.
3. I do haircuts. One day a kid came over and cut his hair without any money, and he said to me, "Uncle I cut it here last month." "Well, I remember. "Mom said there is a three-month warranty.
Business isn't good, big brother.
4. Once I stayed up all night in an Internet café for 2 days and 2 nights, when I came out, people were very hungry and sleepy, so I went to the snack bar next to the Internet café to eat egg fried rice, eating and eating, I was too sleepy, so I fell asleep, and my whole head was planted on the plate.
Be careful of rolling over and falling into the river.
5. In the last self-study class in the afternoon, the principal summoned all the class teachers to the office by radio. Then Xiao Zhang said: "I'll take you around the door of each class in a while to see which of you has the least noise in your class!."So the principal walked around with the class teachers, but only one class teacher was silent. The head teacher was rewarded by the principal, and just like that, the head teacher who had been rewarded returned to the class happily and shouted, "Don't sleep, it's time to get out of school." ”
It's exactly the same.
6. Daughter-in-law: "Is the new house almost ready?"”
Me: "It's almost there, it's going to be done by the end of April!."”
Daughter-in-law: "Well, you can go in and live first for a month." When the house we rent expires, if you don't have any accidents, my son and I will move in too!”
Me: "....Whose parents make their children so stylish.
7. I take the subway with my girlfriend to get off work every day, and I don't know when it started, there is always a handsome guy leaning on the sports car at the subway entrance to flirt with her eyebrows. My girlfriend ignored it at first, but the handsome guy and the sports car showed up on time every day, and gradually her face was full of anticipation, and she became more and more cold to me. Until that day, the handsome guy held the red rose and asked her, "Is it okay to leave him?""Of course," she was excited. He turned to me: "She doesn't love you anymore, be my boyfriend!"."I took the bouquet ......