What is "enlightenment"?It has been said, "The essence of enlightenment is the change of information in the brain from disorder to order." "Admittedly, it was a feeling of sudden realization, as if I had been living in ignorance and confusion in the past. When people reach middle age, once they are enlightened, all problems will be solved in independent thinking, and all relationships will be easy and natural in understanding. Face up to the relationshipSchopenhauer said, "Man is like a hedgehog in the cold of winter, if you get too close to each other, you will feel the sting;."It's too far away from each other, but it feels cold. "An enlightened person knows how to get along with others, has a degree of intimacy, follows fate from afar, and easily maintains that worthwhile relationship. Writer Xiao Hong is a fan of Mr. Lu Xun, and when she was in trouble, Lu Xun and his wife Xu Guangping gave her a lot of care and help. Later, Xiao Hong regarded Lu Xun's house as her own home, and would come to the door almost every day after dinner, sitting and not leaving. At that time, Lu Xun's health was not good, and the task of hospitality had to be completed by Xu Guangping. One day, Xu Guangping was chatting with Xiao Hong in the reception room, and he couldn't take care of Lu Xun who was resting in the bedroom, which caused him to fall asleep and get a cold and fever, and suffered a serious illness. As Xu Guangping wrote in "Remembering Xiao Hong": "Mr. Xiao Hong can't get rid of her sadness, and he stays in our apartment every day. In order to alleviate Mr. Lu Xun's hard work of accompanying guests all day, I had to talk to her alone in the guest room, because I could not take care of Mr. Lu Xun, and I was often at a loss. Especially when writing about Xiao Hong's trip to Japan, Xu Guangping used a sentence:"She (Xiao Hong) finally left for Japan......"Although Xiao Hong's experience is unfortunate, she regards Lu Xun's house as a "healing place" and Xu Guangping as a "garbage can" to confide, but she never takes into account the feelings of the other party. When getting along with people, there is nothing more frightening than not facing up to each other's relationship, and unscrupulously intruding into other people's worlds without knowing it. As the writer Su Xin said: "The relationship between people is like two trees growing together, too close to each other, disturbing each other, and definitely not growing well, and even withering. "When people get along with each other, leaving two hearts blank is the most appropriate distance to get along. Look at each otherrelationship in order to understand that it should be maintainedAnything that is too far or too close is a disaster. A person who is truly enlightened will not deadlift the relationship, not embarrass the other party, and will not embarrass himself. 
02 - Align the positionIn society and family, everyone has a corresponding place, and only when they are seated can they feel comfortable. A few days ago, I was deeply hit by a Douyin skit.
A mother lives not far from her son, and whenever she has time, she usually goes to her son's house to clean up the house, do laundry, and cook. She never greeted her son's house in advance, but opened the door directly with the key.
The daughter-in-law often finds that her underwear and ** are washed and hung on the balcony after returning home, and she feels very embarrassed.
So, she repeatedly asked her husband for the key to the house, but he always said, "That's my mother." ”
One weekend morning, the mother "broke into" her son's house on her own, saw that there was no one in the living room, and walked directly into the bedroom.
Ben's daughter-in-law, who was asleep, was woken up, and when she opened her eyes, she suddenly saw her mother-in-law next to the bed, and she screamed in fright.
The mother-in-law said calmly: "What time is it, and I don't get up yet!."”
After the mother-in-law left, the young couple had a big quarrel, and the daughter-in-law threw down a sentence: "Go with your mother!."He turned around and went back to his parents' house.
The son is married and has his own small home, which is their private space, and when there is something to come to the door, it is best to say hello, otherwise the work will not be good, and the son will be uncomfortable in the middle.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is already delicate, withdraw in time, put the right position, have a degree of intimacy, empathy, and family can get along in harmony. I saw an article before, 58-year-old Aunt Wang said to her daughter-in-law when her son first got married: "We will be a family in the future, but you don't have to treat me as a mother, after marriage, you are the mistress of your family, I will not interfere in your life, I also hope that you can respect us and not interfere in our lives." The mother-in-law withdrew from her son's life in time, and the daughter-in-law saw her mother-in-law's respect for herself, and she was very filial to Aunt Wang after marriage, and the two got along very well in being honest. As the German psychologist said:"There are conflicts in the family because the position of the family is out of order, and when we put each other in the right position, the family relationship will move towards harmony. ”The family needs not only the maintenance of feelings, but also the wisdom of management. The more enlightened people are, the more they can know how to grasp the proportions, what are you, you should stay in the **, do not underestimate yourself, and do not underestimate others. Putting yourself in the right position and advancing and retreating in a moderate way is the wisdom of getting along with others, and it is also the root of family happiness. 
"Ordinary World" wrote: "Everyone has an awakening period, but the awakening determines a person's fate sooner or later." ”
Once a person is enlightened, it is a new beginning, and the sooner he opens, the sooner he will break through in life. Facing up to relationships, not bothering others at will, and not easily making demands on others, is a kind of growth. It is wise to put yourself in the right position, not to reach out and not to cross the line, and to learn to loosen the bond. When a person reaches middle age, once he has opened his mind, no matter who he gets along with, he can be neither arrogant nor humble, and he will not be hurried.