Note: Last time, I chose a joke about being an official, and this time I selected a joke about a reader. The jokes come from the folk, some are funny, and some don't seem to be funny. But it often transcends time and space, and its vitality is particularly tenacious.
1 and the first place.
A lifter took a servant to the capital to take the exam with his luggage. As he walked, a gust of wind blew and blew the man's hat to the ground.
The servant shouted, "Xianggong's hat has fallen to the ground!"”
When the people heard this, they were very unhappy and instructed the servant: "If anything falls in the future, don't say that it will fall to the ground, but that it will reach the ground (first)!"”
The servant said, "Remember!."”
The servant tied his luggage to the flat shoulder and said, "Tie it strongly." ”
Servant: "Well, now it's time to go to the edge of the sky, and it won't reach the ground!."”
Note: If you raise people to take the Jinshi examination, you are called and the first, and if you can't pass the test, you are called the first.
2 Don't admit yourself.
A group of Xiucai crossed the river by boat.
The boat walked to the center of the river, and someone in the show let out a fart.
The showmen are afraid of losing face, and no one will admit it, you say it's him, he says it's you, and he is entangled.
The old boatman who rocked the boat said, "Don't quarrel, he will stop talking after a while." ”
The boat rocked to the other side of the river, and the talents paid and went ashore to leave, when the old boatman shouted, "Hey!."That farting husband hasn't paid for the boat yet!”
I saw a Xiucai jump out and shout: "Nonsense!."I was the first to give money just now!”
3 Reading is beneficial.
A young master has been wandering since he was a child and refuses to study.
His father was very angry, so he shut him up in the house, gave him a book, and commanded:
If you read the book honestly for three days, after three days, you will understand that there is a lot to be gained from reading!
After three days, the father checked his son's Xi.
The son said: "I read the book for three days, and I really gained a lot!”
The father asked, "What do you understand?"”
The son said: "I always thought that books were written with a pen, but after reading them carefully for three days, I realized that every page was printed with a printing plate. ”
4 Hypnotic magic.
A wet nurse feeds a child for an official, but the child refuses to sleep peacefully and cries vigorously.
The wet nurse had no choice, so she went to the official and asked for a book.
The official asked, "What's the use of coaxing a child to ask for a book?"
The nurse said, "I usually fall asleep when I see you reading a book, and I want this child to read a book." ”
5 Reading celebrities.
In ancient times, there were two famous people who studied hard, one was named Che Yin, it is said that he had no money to buy lamp oil when he read at night, so he caught a small bag of fireflies and used fluorescent light to read the book, and the other was named Sun Kang, who also had no money to buy lamp oil, so he read in the light of the snow at night.
One day, Sun Kang went to visit Che Yin, and it happened that Che Yin was not at home, and when he inquired, it turned out that he went out early in the morning to catch fireflies.
Two days later, Che Yin returned to visit Sun Kang and saw Sun Kang standing outside the gate.
Che Yin hurriedly asked, "Why don't you study?"”
Sun Kang replied, "I don't think the weather looks like it's going to snow." ”
6 Inexhaustible.
A Taoist gentleman preached the greatness of Confucius's doctrine everywhere, saying that as long as he seriously comprehended one or two sentences of Confucius, he would be inexhaustible for the rest of his life.
A young man stepped forward and saluted, "The old gentleman is right. I seriously comprehended the two sentences of Confucius, and now I feel that the heart is wide and fat, which is very useful. ”
Mr. Daoxue hurriedly asked which two sentences they were.
Young people: "I don't get tired of eating, and I don't get tired of eating." ”
Note: Don't get tired of eating, don't get tired of fine. Meaning, the more elaborate the meal, the better, and the finely shredded meat, the better.
Related reading: Ancient jokes [1] Bad plates don't break hands.